In The News

I was browsing yesterday's news when I came across these two headlines.

GOP County Official: Hillary is Going to ‘Go Down Like Monica Lewinsky’ in Debate Against Trump

Bob Sutton, chairman of the Broward County Republican Executive Committee in Florida, told (the Washington Post) that Clinton would be easy to defeat, adding:

“I think when Donald Trump debates Hillary Clinton she’s going to go down like Monica Lewinsky.”

That'll certainly help with getting the female vote.

The next headline is not a laughing matter, but it was difficult to stifle a snort when I read it.

Dead Couple Found Killed

Those two got me to thinking about other unintentionally funny headlines. A little Google-Fu and Voilà!

Of course, if you really want a laugh, read what passes for journalism these days...

Rising Stock

I have some serious reservations about each and every one of the four remaining candidates for president (five, if you count John Kasich, which I don't). But when I saw this story Ted Cruz's price per share immediately skyrocketed in my personal presidential stock market.

Boehner: Ted Cruz a 'miserable son of a bitch'

Former Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) panned Ted Cruz as “Lucifer in the flesh” during comments at an event Wednesday night at Stanford University.

“I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone,” Boehner said, according to The Stanford Daily.

“But I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

Oscar Wilde once said "You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies." If that's true, then the fact that John Boehner (and by extension, the corps of D.C. insiders) considers Ted Cruz an enemy speaks volumes about both.

Remember way back when... when there were 15 or 16 republican presidential candidates? Cruz was a Washington outsider then. Hell, even after getting elected to the senate he remained an outsider from Day One.

Cruz ... met with House members of the conservative Freedom Caucus — an unusual move for a freshman senator — in 2013 and pushed them to fight to defund ObamaCare. The effort eventually led to a government shutdown...

Boehner reportedly called Cruz a “jackass” over the issue.

Boehner and his cronies are the jackasses. Even today, he and the rest of the GOP establishment don't get it. They fail to understand that their failure to stand up and do the job they were elected to do - dismantle obamacare, secure our borders, seek out and destroy terrorists, balance the budget, restore America's international power and prestige, and generally preserve American values and traditions - has resulted in The Rise of Trump.

What I don't get is how over the past few months Cruz has come to be portrayed as a member of the establishment, while others get a pass.

(Boehner) recounted how he used to play golf with Donald Trump, the current GOP presidential front-runner, and said they were “texting buddies.”

Boehner told the crowd he’d support Trump in the general election, but not Cruz.

So who's the real outsider here? And who's the miserable son of a bitch?

It ain't Ted...

Wordless Wednesday One Day Late

I would have posted this yesterday, but I was too busy trying to figure out which restroom to use...

They're All The Same

By now I'm sure you're aware of the outrageous action taken by that lunatic masquerading as the governor of Virginia, Terry McAuliffe. He has restored the right to vote to over 200,000 convicted felons in that state.

Needless to say, he's a democrat.

His rationale?

Gov. McAuliffe wants murderers to feel good about themselves again

In his order, McAuliffe explained the decision in standard liberalese: the ban on felon voting “disproportionately affects racial minorities and the economically disadvantaged;” ex-cons “deserve to re-enter society on fair and just terms...”

The felons whom McAuliffe has allowed to vote include murderers, rapists (including those who have committed child rape), armed robbers, and kidnappers...

Adding more layers of absurdity, and laying it on thick, McAuliffe said that ex-cons are “embarrassed to tell their children” they lost the right to vote because of their crimes. Thanks to McAuliffe, they can avoid embarrassment by telling them they committed rape or murder but are free to vote.

McAuliffe also compared his political maneuver, a crass attempt to enlarge the number of Democratic voters, to the work of Abraham Lincoln. “Ten yards from where I spoke [about allowing criminals to vote] is where Abraham Lincoln addressed the freed slaves 151 years ago this month.”

Is he really equating his action - allowing convicted rapists and murderers to vote - to freeing innocent people from being enslaved? Other than both groups consisting of mostly black people (not being racist, but merely stating facts - McAuliffe himself acknowledges that the ban on felon voting “disproportionately affects racial minorities") I don't see any similarity. Why aren't the professional 'racism is everywhere' whiners all over this?

It's also worth noting that McAuliffe did not restore the right to keep and bear arms to those felons. I could make a pretty good argument that it is less harmful to society to shoot the wrong person than to elect the wrong person. But that's beside the point.

Anyway, there is no doubt that this is a blatantly political move.

... (Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe's) order will allow more than 200,000 ex-cons in Virginia to register to vote in the upcoming presidential election.

Everyone understands that the Democratic candidate, presumably Hillary Clinton (for whom McAuliffe has carried much water), will gobble up the overwhelming majority of these vote.

No doubt. So why do I bring this up now, days after McAuliffe's announcement?

Because this just came to light.

Donald Trump Donated to the Democrat Governor Who Just Gave Felons the Right to Vote

The governor who just upended the Virginia constitution to allow over 200,000 felons vote for Hillary — well turns out that Donald Trump donated to him as well:

     ... among the many liberal Democrats Trump supported throughout his career was Terry McAuliffe in his first bid for the Virginia’s governor’s mansion in 2009. We are not talking ancient history here. The frontrunner for the GOP nomination gave $25,000 to one of the sleaziest Democrats of our generation just seven years ago, a man who served as the Chairman of the DNC.

      As late as September 2014, Trump was still rubbing shoulders with the man:

This has just confirmed what I have slowly come to suspect. Donald Trump is not a political outsider. Sure, he may not be a member of the republican establishment. But he's mingled and traded favors with politicians of both sides in an ongoing effort to feather his own nest. He's no different from the rest of the lying two-faced hypocritical weasels that run both political parties, and the special interest groups they consort with.

A pox on them all - including Trump.

Good News, Ladies

I am not being judgemental. I am merely passing on information.

I report, you decide...

Women with larger behinds are healthier and more intelligent, study finds

It turns out that having a little "junk in the trunk" is a good thing, health wise. Not only does having a larger derriere boost overall health, but it's tied to increased intelligence and lower risk of chronic disease, according to researchers at the University of Oxford and Churchill Hospital in the United Kingdom.

"There's a lot of evidence that shows that the fat depots are not the same in the body," said Dr. Robert Kushner, a professor of medicine specializing in obesity at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago.

Belly fat "is more metabolically active," explains Kushner, meaning it has a greater effect on the brain and overall body, compared to fat stored in the lower half, which tends to be more stable and invokes fewer cytokines or proteins associated with insulin resistance and the onset of diabetes.

"Having a big butt also favors leptin levels in the female body, which is a hormone (that regulates) weight (and) anti-inflammatory, vascular-protective and anti-diabetic attributes. The adipose tissue of the buttocks traps harmful fatty particles and prevents cardiovascular disease."

Maintaining a larger behind requires significant amounts of Omega 3 fats, which are proven to boost brain function, memory and cognitive abilities. Research also shows that children born to women with wide hips are more intelligent compared to those conceived by thinner and less curvy mothers.

This should make a number of women I know very happy - bigger butts mean healthier bodies and bigger brains.

Plus they're easier to hold on to...

Starting Off The Week Shaking My Head

You can't make this stuff up.

Army Celebrates Earth Day

The U.S. Army on Thursday pledged to honor “Earth Day” by “reasserting its pledge to address the implications of climate change and assess associated risks to national security.”

In a special message to soldiers, the Army, which faces deep cuts in the ranks of active duty soldiers, said it is focused on “the role the land plays in ensuring the Army remains ready and resilient.”

It urges soldiers to celebrate Earth Day on Friday. The Army also made Earth Day its “focus quote of the day.”

“As our Army celebrates Earth Day 2016, please join us in protecting the environment, enabling the Soldiers’ readiness and securing the environmental future for our citizens and our nation...

“The Army will ‘Acknowledge the Past’ by restoring Army lands and preserving cultural and historical resources. The Army will ‘Engage the Present’ by meeting environmental standards while also enabling Army operations as well as protecting Soldiers, Families and civilians. The Army will ‘Chart the Future’ by bringing the best practices and technologies to bear.”

Why isn't there anything in there about destroying our enemies?

Earlier this year, the office of Defense Secretary Ashton Carter sent out a directive ordering commanders to incorporate climate change into every thing they do, from testing and buying weapons, to planning wars, to conducting exercises.

The Obama administration ranks climate change as one of the biggest threats to national security.

Well, why not? After all, ISIS is contained, and those pesky Russians and Chinese aren't doing anything threatening. Neither are the North Koreans.

Oh, wait...

The Army top brass testified at recent congressional budget hearings that it cannot fight a major war on the schedule called for in the national military strategy because of years of funding cuts.

Look, I get the whole 'take care of the environment' thing. I grew up in the country. I spent a lot of time enjoying the great outdoors. Still do. I respect Mother Nature. I adhere to the old Boy Scout practice of leaving my campsite in better condition than when I found it. I follow the Three R's - Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. I think alternative and renewable energy is important. Heck, we even capture rainwater for household and irrigation use. But I don't make a religion out of the environment. And I damn sure don't think it's one of the biggest threats to our national security. The military's primary role is to destroy things and kill people. Anything else is secondary.

No, this is not a joke. I wish it was.

That's bad enough. This is even worse.

Student Choir Told To Stop Singing National Anthem At 9/11 Memorial

So your middle school choir organizes a class trip to New York that includes a visit to the sacred ground of the 9/11 memorial. You stand in awe of what happened that terrible day before you were born and decide it would be appropriate for your choir to sing the national anthem.

But wait! The rules for the 9/11 memorial state that you need a permit to sing a song. So about halfway through singing the anthem, a security guard came up to the choir and told them to cease and desist.

It's a wonder that American flags are still allowed there.

This is not the America I grew up in.

Apologies for starting your week on such a down note...

Sunday Funnies 2016.04.24

I spent a large chunk of yesterday helping a buddy with a home improvement project. I'm not much of a handyman, but I can lift and carry heavy objects...

Tool Definitions

Table Saw - a large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. 

Skill Saw - a portable cutting tool used to make studs too short. 

Belt Sander - an electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

Hose Cutter- used to make hoses too short - but only usually at one end. 

Hammer - a divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object you are trying to hit. 

Pry Bar - best used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 25 cent part.

 * * * * * * * * * *
“Honey!” screamed my husband from our bedroom, “you MUST check this out!"

“What is it?” I hollered back from the kitchen.

“You’re not going to believe what I found when I was drilling a hole in the wall to hang that picture. I found a secret stash of bottles!”

Just then my I heard my daughter's voice hollering from the bathroom, “I’m trying to brush my teeth in here! Who the hell is drilling a hole through the medicine cabinet!?”

 * * * * * * * * * *
A blonde wanting to earn some extra money decided to hire herself out as a handyman. She canvassed the neighborhood and finally found a man who needed his porch painted.

“How much will you charge me?” he asked.

“How about $50?” asked the blonde.

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage. A short time late the blonde came to the door to collect.

“Are you finished already?” the husband asked. “Yes” the blonde replied, “and I had paint left over so gave it two coats–no extra charge.” Impressed. the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her.

“And by the way,” the blonde added, “It’s not a Porch—it’s a Lexus.”

 * * * * * * * * * *
While I was working at a lumberyard, a customer asked where we kept the two-by-fours. I directed him to the pile, and asked, "How long do you want them?"

"Quite a while!" was his reply. "I'm nailing them to a house."

 * * * * * * * * * *
I just finished replacing our kitchen's old vinyl floor with ceramic tile. It turned out rather well, if I do say so myself.

We had a small unveiling party shortly afterwards. A guest commented, "I didn't know you knew how to do this kind of work." 

Modestly, I replied, "I learned by tile and error."

 * * * * * * * * * *
A proud father brought home a swing set he had just purchased for his children and immediately began to assemble it while all the neighborhood children anxiously waited to play on it.

After several hours of reading the assembly instructions and trying to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard.

The old-timer came over, tossed the directions away, and had the set completely assembled in a short period of time.

"It's beyond me," the father said, "how you managed to get it all put together without even reading the directions."

"To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read, and when you can't read, you've got to think."

 * * * * * * * * * * A fellow was watching me work on the house. After a while I asked him what he found so interesting. He told me that I hammer like lightning.

I was psyched, until I realized that lightning never hits the same spot twice.

 * * * * * * * * * *
Top Ten Handyman Pick-Up Lines

10. Come to Home Depot often?

9. Need anything nailed?

8. I once installed a shampoo shelf for Fabio

7. I'm very good at tongue-and-groove work

6. I'm not really a handyman, I'm actually a TV star worth millions of dollars

5. Wanna get lathed?

4. Come over to `this old house' and help me get out of `these old pants'

3. Great spice rack!

2. You turn my two-by-four into a four-by-eight

1. It's tool time!

Stripper Alert

I have no words...

FBI-Themed Stripper Triggers Panic, Security Alert

A male stripper sparked panic in Frankfurt's red-light district after being spotted with what appeared to be an assault rifle and bullet-proof vest emblazoned with "FBI."

"A significant number" of police officers were deployed to the area after Saturday night's sighting, officials said.

The 30-year-old Hungarian man was later found in a table-dance bar, where he revealed the suspicious items were part of the costume for his act.

 The weapon turned out to be a plastic replica "but had deceiving similarities to a G36 assault rifle," according to a police statement.

After a delay, the stripper was permitted to perform late Saturday, "but whether his act was a success, is not known," police added.

Oh, those wacky Germans.

Please do not click to embiggen - I'm begging you!

In Local News

Randy posted something recently which prompted this post.

The Big City southeast of where I live is in the midst of its annual 10 day bacchanalia known as Fiesta.

Fiesta San Antonio started in 1891 as a one-parade event as a way to honor the memory of the heroes of the Alamo and the Battle of San Jacinto. It has evolved into one of this nation’s premier festivals with an economic impact of more than $284 million for the Alamo City. Fiesta is the Party With a Purpose. and the funds raised by official Fiesta events provide services to San Antonio citizens throughout the year...

Some 3.5 million party-goers enjoy Fiesta San Antonio. More than 20 percent of Fiesta-goers travel from across the state, the nation, and even the world!

It's a model of community involvement - private sector firms, nonprofit organizations, and everyday people working together for the good of the community.

The (Fiesta) commission itself is funded entirely by the private sector and receives no governmental funding. Instead, it relies heavily on membership dues, retail sales and corporate participation to remain self-sustaining.

Every official Fiesta event that takes place during Fiesta each April is sponsored by a local nonprofit or military organization.

It's a great example of the way different people and organizations can focus on a common goal and come together, as opposed to letting their differences divide them.

Are you listening, political parties and special interest groups?

This year, however, there were some problems early in the celebration. The weather wasn't cooperating.

San Antonio hail storm called costliest in Texas history

Last week’s hail storm in the San Antonio area produced nearly $1.4 billion in estimated insured losses, making it the costliest hail storm in the state’s history.

Insured losses to automobiles from the April 12 storm are expected to reach $560 million, while damage to homes is expected to approach $800 million, the insurance trade association added. More than 110,000 vehicles were damaged, and thousands of homes suffered roof damage.

My nephew and his girl friend live in an apartment that was hit by the storm. They had three windows broken out, and both their cars had their rear windows shattered by the hail.

It wasn't just homes and cars that were damaged.

(A local solar power provider), San Antonio-based OCI Solar Power, lost at least 25 percent of its capacity at its Alamo 2 solar farm just east of San Antonio due to the April 12 hailstorm...

A timetable to restore Alamo 2 to full capacity was uncertain Wednesday. “We are working quickly to have everything replaced,” Waldrum said.

Fortunately, the city has adequate capacity in other fossil fueled plants to make up for the loss of power supplied by the solar farm. But if this had happened in summer, when everyone is running their air conditioners, then we'd probably have rolling blackouts.

In any event, here in the Heart of Texas we know what to do when it hails.

Along with Fiesta, the Spurs are making their annual run in the NBA playoffs.

It’s hard to think of a more exciting time to live in San Antonio than when Spurs Playoff Basketball collides with the city’s Fiesta celebration. Our city comes alive and we show our true colors, from the strength of Silver and Black to the bright doylies of Fiesta.

With the playoffs comes the basketball talking heads and their studio shows. In San Antonio's case, that means the return of Charles Barkley, who has a history of making fun of the women down here.

“There’s some big ol’ women down there. That’s a gold mine for Weight Watchers.”

"Victoria is definitely a secret.. they can't wear no Victoria's Secret down there."

This year, Chuckles took his humor to another level.

“They wear them big ol’ bloomers down there, they can’t get in them cute little panties, they wear bloomers,” Barkley said, failing to stifle laughter.

“Listen, you big ol’ women need to stop … ease up on them churros*,” Barkley said through spurts of uncontrollable chortling.

In his defense, San Antonio consistently ranks in the Top 10 fattest cities nationwide, so he's got a point.

Of course, the ladies of San Antonio didn't take kindly to Sir Charles' remarks.

* For the uninitiated, churros are a fried dough pastry, similar to crullers, often sprinkled with sugar (plain, powdered, or brown), cinnamon, and whatever else strikes the cook's fancy, and sometimes dipped in chocolate (or chocolate milk, or coffee, or whatever else is handy).

Lawfully v. Legally

In case you missed it, here's an update on obama's executive action allowing millions of illegal aliens to remain in the U.S. (earlier post here)

As if we needed another reason to despise lawyers, obama's mouthpiece is trying to convince the Supreme Court that up is down, black is white, and "lawfully" and "legally" mean different things.

Obama Administration Tells Supreme Court 'Lawfully' Doesn't Mean 'Legally'

The Supreme Court heard oral arguments Monday in U.S. v. Texas. This case pits 26 states against the Obama administration on the question of whether the Executive Branch ... can unilaterally declare that more than four million foreign nationals who are illegally in the United States may stay here, work here and acquire eligibility for Social Security, disability and Medicare.

The states suing the administration, (Solicitor General Donald) Verrilli told the court, "are fundamentally wrong to claim the (administration's policy) confers on aliens whose presence Congress has deemed unlawful the right to remain lawfully in the United States."

The solicitor general then argued that the administration was not granting foreign nationals illegally in the United States "lawful status." It was instead granting them "lawful presence."

And the difference is...?

"Aliens with lawful status under the [Immigration and Nationality Act] are here lawfully; their presence therefore is not a basis for removal," said Obama's solicitor in his brief. "By contrast, mere 'lawful presence' occurs when the Executive openly tolerate[s] an undocumented alien's continued presence in the United States ... notwithstanding that the alien lacks lawful status and is present in violation of the law."

Let's stop here for a minute and think about that. An "undocumented alien" who is admittedly "present in violation of the law" can nevertheless have a "lawful presence" here?!?

Is this a great country or what?

In Monday's oral arguments, Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Samuel Alito challenged the solicitor's language.

"On Page 16, you quote... 'The individuals covered are lawfully present in the United States,'" Roberts told Verrilli, according to the court's official transcript. "And less than a page later, you say, 'Aliens with deferred action are present in violation of the law.'

'Now that must have been a hard sentence to write," said Roberts. "I mean ... they're lawfully present, and yet, they're present in violation of the law."

Verrilli responded: "I actually had no trouble writing it, Mr. Chief Justice."

At this, according to the transcript, laughter arose in the Supreme Court chamber.

Yeah, I'd laugh too - if I wasn't too busy crying over what lawyers and liberals are doing to our country.

This is when Verrilli explained that these words have a different meaning in the "immigration world."

"The reason I had no problem writing it is because that phrase, 'lawful presence' ... means something different to people in the immigration world. What it means in the immigration world is not that you have a legal right to be in the United States, that your status has changed in any way. That you have any defense to removal. It doesn't mean any of those things, and it never has ..."

Roberts interrupted: "Lawfully present does not mean you're legally present in the United States."

"Right," said Verrilli. "Tolerated—"

Roberts interrupted again: "I'm sorry ... just so I get that right ... Lawfully present does not mean you're legally present."

"Correct," said the solicitor general.

Justice Alito then asked if it was true that those granted this unique status "may lawfully work in the United States."

"That's right," said the solicitor.

"And how is it possible," asked Alito, "to lawfully work in the United States without lawfully being in the United States?"

Millions are doing it, the solicitor general assured the justice.

I can hear my mother saying "Just because millions are doing it doesn't mean it's right."

Alito said, "I just don't understand it. ... [H]ow can it be lawful to work here but not lawful to be here?"

I'm with you, Judge. I don't understand it either. I guess that's because I'm not a sleazy liberal lawyer.

It reminds me of an old joke:

Q:  What's the difference between "unlawful" and illegal"?

A:  "Unlawful" is against the law. "Illegal" is a sick bird.

*rimshot*

Wordless Wednesday

I love my wife. I cannot imagine life without her.

Still, there are moments...

Some Illegal Immigrants Are More Equal Than Others

The Supreme Court heard arguments Monday concerning obama's executive action halting deportation of millions of illegal aliens illegally living in the U.S. - illegally.

The Obama administration’s plan to defer deportation for more than four million illegal immigrants faced an uncertain future Monday after the Supreme Court appeared split on the program’s legality.

Did I mention they are here illegally?

I'm not a legal scholar, but I don't understand why the president has the power to ignore or override the law of the land. But listen to the words of Sonia Sotomayor, alleged "wise Latina."

The four million immigrants potentially eligible for a reprieve “are living in the shadows” and “are here whether we want them or not,” Justice Sonia Sotomayor said, citing limited government resources for deportations.

Oh, so now 'limited government resources' is legal grounds for ruling on the limits of presidential power?

GMAFB.

The court’s four conservative justices voiced skepticism of the Obama administration’s immigration policy, called Deferred Action for Parents of Americans and Lawful Permanent Residents, or DAPA, which would provide work authorization and a reprieve to illegal immigrants with children who are U.S. citizens, if they meet certain criteria. Liberal justices noted that the president has wide discretion on deportation matters, given the government’s limited resources and the more than 11 million immigrants believed to be living in this country illegally.

The Department of Homeland Security, which enforces many immigration laws, has said it lacks the resources to deport the millions of illegal immigrants presently within the U.S. ...

In an interesting twist, however, the obama administration evidently has enough resources to deport certain selected immigrants.

Cuban Activist Living in USA for Nearly Half a Century Ordered Deported

Living for nearly half a century in the United States offers no guarantee that one can stay.

That is a reality now facing Cuban exile activist Ramón Saúl Sánchez, leader of the Democracy Movement, who received a letter Thursday from the federal government ordering him to leave the country as soon as possible.

Sánchez, who obtained legal entry into the U.S. in what is known as a “parole,” had applied for permanent residency in 2002...

That permanent residency request has been denied and his parole has now also expired, according to the letter issued by U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS).

“You are not authorized to remain in the United States and should make arrangements to depart as soon as possible,” stated the letter, dated April 7 and received by Sánchez on Thursday. “Failure to depart may result in your being found ineligible for immigration benefits and inadmissible to the United States in the future.”

Gee, I wonder why, after 14 years, the federal government finally decided that Sánchez now must "depart as soon as possible.” Could it have something to do with his political protests against his former home - Cuba?

Sánchez is a well-known activist in South Florida, who also has staged a number of hunger strikes to bring attention to various Cuba-related causes...

(Sánchez has organized a protest) to a recent denial by Cuban leader Raúl Castro that any political prisoners were behind bars on the island.

Sánchez characterized the letter as "political pressure" by the Obama administration...

Somehow I doubt if the liberal idiots on the Supreme Court will take this blatantly political move by obama into account when deliberating on the illegal immigration case currently in front of them.

Deja Vu In The Baltics

A few days ago I posted something about the ongoing Russian military buildup in the Baltics and subsequent sabre rattling, as evidenced by the buzzing of a U.S. Navy destroyer. I closed that post by making fun of the Navy's administration-mandated response: moving toward gender-neutral uniforms.

Lo and behold - yesterday there was a story about Russian fighters buzzing a U.S. Air Force RC-135 reconnaissance plane flying over the Baltic Sea.

A U.S. Air Force reconnaissance plane was intercepted by a Russian fighter plane over the Baltic Sea in what American officials said on Sunday was an unsafe and unprofessional manner, the second such instance in a week.

The Russian jet came to within 50 feet of the Air Force plane and then executed a barrel roll over the American plane’s left side to its right...

Even though the incident involved an Air Force plane, the Navy responded immediately.*

Navy Secretary Bends Rules About Ship Naming to Honor Democratic Politician

(*Okay, that wasn't really the Navy's response. The ship-naming fiasco took place a few days ago, but still, it highlights the ineffectiveness - one might even say the timidness - of the obama administration when confronted by Russian provocation.)

Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus is under fire for bending service rules in order to name the next Arleigh Burke-class guided missile destroyer after a retired Democratic politician.

Mabus, who has previously been accused of politicizing the ship-naming process, announced Monday that the destroyer will be named after Carl Levin, a former Democratic U.S. senator from Michigan who is still alive and did not serve in the U.S. military.

Mabus disregarded Navy ship-naming rules stipulating that destroyers should be named for deceased members of the Navy, Marine Corps, and Coast Guard, including secretaries of the Navy.

There have been exceptions made in the past. However, those exceptions are typically reserved for people of unquestioned stature, not political hacks.

“There are the typical exceptions,” the Navy explains in an online document produced by the History and Heritage Command. “Roosevelt was named in honor of Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt, while Winston Churchill honors the great war leader of World War II.”

Other exceptions include "destroyers named for Thomas Hudner, a retired Navy flag officer, Paul Ignatius, a former Navy secretary, and former Sen. Daniel Inouye, who was awarded the Medal of Honor for World War II Army combat service in Italy."

Speaking of Medal of Honor awardees, there are nearly 200 Navy and Marine Corps Medal of Honor recipients who have never had ships named after them. How does Carl Levin, who never served a single day in the military, jump ahead of them? What was his significant contribution that warrants the honor of a ship named after him?

Mr. Levin presided over the committee during the Obama administration’s major drawdown of troops and weapons systems. Joint Chiefs of Staff officers testified in recent months that they doubt they can fight one major war on the schedule outlined in the National Military Strategy.

This is just the latest in a series of obama administration moves towards politicizing the Navy.

An examination by The Washington Times of the 71 Arleigh Burke monikers shows Mr. Levin is the only one — except Winston Churchill — who does not meet the Navy guideline for destroyers. Most Arleigh Burke honorees are naval war heroes; a significant number earned the Medal of Honor. There are several Navy secretaries.

(Secretary of the Navy) Mabus, a former Democratic governor of Mississippi, has irked some Republicans for veering from tradition by naming warships after social activists and politicians with no link to the military.

Since the start of the Obama administration, Mr. Mabus has named combat logistics supply ships after civil rights leader Medgar Evers and leftist farmworker Cesar Chavez.

All previous Lewis and Clark-class cargo ships had been named for famous explorers or people who made significant contributions to the military, as called for in Navy conventions.

He named a littoral combat ship after former Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, Arizona Democrat, who was seriously wounded in a January 2011 assassination attempt.

In January Mr. Mabus again broke with past tradition. He named a fleet replenishment oiler, TAO-205, after civil rights icon Rep. John Lewis, Georgia Democrat. Mr. Lewis voted for removing all U.S. troops from Iraq in 2007 and from Afghanistan in 2011.

Navy guidelines had said such ships are named for rivers or people instrumental to maritime and aviation design and production.

But Mr. Mabus changed the convention last year, saying the 17 oilers will be named after civil and human rights activists.

Ah, yes. Hope and Change. Fundamental Transformation.

obama is not politicizing the military.

He's pussifying it...

Sunday Funnies 2016.04.17

Income Tax Time - we laugh to keep from crying...

Ambition in America is still rewarded . . . with high taxes.

America is the land of opportunity. Everybody can become a taxpayer.

If my business gets much worse, I won't have to lie on my next tax return.

Congress has the job of getting the people to pay taxes they can't afford for services they don't need.

Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and then wind up in the hole.

 The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.

 I must admit I lied on my income-tax return. I listed myself as head of the household!

A harp is a piano after taxes.

You really can't beat the system. If you earn anything, it's minus taxes. If you buy anything it's plus taxes.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

TAXPAYER'S LAMENT

Tax his cow, Tax his goat;
Tax his pants, Tax his coat;
Tax his crop, Tax his work;
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt;

Tax his chew, Tax his smoke;
Teach him taxing is no joke.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule;
Tell him, Taxing is the rule.

Tax his oil, Tax his gas;
Tax his notes, Tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know,
That after taxes, he has no dough.

If he hollers, Tax him more;
Tax him till he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin, Tax his grave,
Tax his sod in which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove him to his doom."
After he's gone, we won't relax,
We'll still collect inheritance tax.

A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 and Psalms 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the following letter to the IRS:

I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income, and have enclosed a check for $150.00.

Sincerely,
A Guilty Taxpayer

P. S. If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest.

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!"

"In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!"