Sunday, January 3, 2016

Sunday Funnies 2016.01.03

The last few days have been an orgy of college football bowl games. Here's some thoughts on my favorite teams...

Q: What do the Oklahoma Sooners and marijuana have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q. Whats the difference between Oklahoma and cheerios?
A. One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn't!

Q: What does an Oklahoma fan do after his team wins a bowl game?
A: He turns off the Playstation.

Q: What's the difference between an Oklahoma Sooners fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after a while.

Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in College Station (home of the Texas Aggies)?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

Q: Why did the Aggie marry the cow?
A: He had to.

Q: How do you compliment an Arkansas Razorback fan?
A: Nice tooth.

Q: What does the Louisiana Department of Waste do when it is through with a garbage truck?
A: Clean it, paint it, and sell it to a Razorback as a Winnebago.

Q: What is 100 yards long and has 30 teeth?
A: The front row at an Arkansas home game.

Q: How do you make University of Notre Dame cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q. Why were Alabama fans late for the Cotton Bowl?
A. Because every time they passed a sign that said "Clean Restrooms," they did.

Q: What do you call 20 Alabama fans skydiving from an airplane?
A: Skeet.

Q: Why do the Texas Tech cheerleaders wear bibs?
A: To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.

Q: What is one thing you will never hear an Oregon fan say?
A: I have reviewed your application...

The Seven Dwarfs were marching through the forest one day they fell in a deep, dark ravine. Snow White, who was following along, peered over the edge of the steep chasm and called out to the fallen dwarfs. From the depths of the dark hole a voice returned, "The Oklahoma Sooners are national championship contenders."

Snow White thought to herself, "Thank God... at least Dopey's survived!"

An insurance salesman was in the Alabama backwoods calling on customers when he came across a house behind a large field. Making his way to the home he noticed a man in the field getting it on with a sheep. The sight disgusted him but he proceeded to the house.

The salesman knocked on the door. A young boy answered, "Can I help ya mister?"

"Well, to be honest with you, I am here to sell you insurance but on the way in, I noticed a stranger in your field harassing one of your sheep!"

"Its okay," said the boy, "That's just my daaaaad."


Well Seasoned Fool said...

A cousin and her husband, Kansas State alumni, had their hearts broken by their daughter She attended Oklahoma State.

CenTexTim said...

I know how they feel. I graduated from the University of Texas, but both are kids are going to Texas A&M...