Q: What did the tree say to autumn?
A: Leaf me alone.
Q: How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
A: With a pumpkin patch
Q: What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking.
The wife asks: "What are you waiting for?"
The husband replies: "Autumn."
Autumn is a season for big decisions -- like whether or not it's too late to start spring cleaning.
Autumn leaves are a lot like kids.
First they turn on you. Then they fly away. And next thing you know, you look out the window and they're back!
I can hardly wait until all the leaves turn brown to match the grass.