Friday, January 23, 2015

I Ain't No Sitzpinkler

Leave it to the Euroweenies to make a big deal over how men urinate.
A court in Germany has ruled in favour of a man's right to urinate while standing up after his landlord demanded money for damage to the bathroom floor.

The landlord, who was seeking €1,900 (£1400; $2,200), claimed the marble floor had been damaged by urine.

But the Duesseldorf judge ruled that the man's method was within cultural norms, saying "urinating standing up is still common practice".
"...still common practice?" Is it going out of style?
There is some debate in Germany about whether men should sit or stand to pee.

Some toilets have red traffic-style signs forbidding the standing position - but those who choose to sit are often referred to as a "Sitzpinkler", implying it is not masculine behaviour.
Here in Texas we have a saying about a person who exhibits unmasculine behavior: "He squats to piss."
Judge Stefan Hank agreed with an expert's report that uric acid had caused some damage to the bathroom's floor.

But concluding, he said men who insist on standing "must expect occasional rows with housemates, especially women" but cannot be held to account for collateral damage.
My wife sure holds me to account for 'collateral damage.' I think she could tolerate the occasional drop or two on the floor, but she gets downright hostile if my aim is a little off and some ends up on the seat.

Of course, if she would put it back up when she's finished that wouldn't be a problem, but she doesn't see it that way.
"Despite growing domestication of men in this matter, urinating while standing up is still common practice," he added.
"...growing domestication of men...?" If that means forcing them to sit while urinating, I would argue that's not domestication, but rather emasculation.

As a bonus, here's some ammunition for all you ladies out there who are fighting the Great Toilet Seat War.

How to Make Your Own "Put Toilet Seat Down" Sticker
If you’ve had enough of fumbling in the middle of the night to use the bathroom only to take an Alice in Toilet Land tumble into the porcelain black hole all because the toilet seat has, once again, been left up––there is hope. While you might try to reason with those who leave the toilet seat upright, or go so far as to tape down the seat or even install child locks, inevitably the seat will find its way to the upright position again. One fun way around the constant cajoling to keep the seat down is to stickers that carry messages encouraging all users to kindly put that seat back down where it belongs.

If stickers don't work, you can always try this.

Men, the best advice I can give you is just go outside.


Well Seasoned Fool said...

Avoid the whole issue. Use the sink.

CenTexTim said...

As an added bonus, that rinses the dishes before you wash them...

Well Seasoned Fool said...


Dink Newcomb said...

As in all political confrontations, I have felt that there was a gap discrepancy in what women DEMAND and a lucid attitude about the situation.
If women are too numb to check that the seat is up/down, but the man has already reached deep inside to summon the effort to put it up, he has already done more for sanitation and harmony than the woman could muster. AT LEAST 50% RIGHT!. Sorta like a broken clock being right at least twice a day while one demented by being assembled correctly is never right although it might tick and ring louder, more frequently and in a vastly more irritating way than the superior clock.