"The Other Side" Are People Too

I've certainly spent my fair share of time bashing and denigrating liberals. But I do have some liberal friends. I like them, and enjoy their company. In fact, we agree on many of the same issues and problems facing our country today. Where we differ, however, is how to solve them. And while I sometimes get exasperated with them during after-dinner discussions (and, I suspect, they with me), we are for the most part able to see the merit in the other person's argument, even if we don't always find it convincing.

Which is why this article struck a chord with me.

What I learned as a liberal talking head on Fox News

For a radical progressive who once harbored negative stereotypes about folks on the right, it was a turning point for me: Though Sean Hannity or Sarah Palin and I disagree profoundly on politics – they're personable, kind, and human. If you want to persuade people, you can’t demonize them.

My time at Fox News was marked by meeting and working with some of the kindest, smartest, and most talented people I've had the pleasure of meeting in life... Sean Hannity is one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet – and even now that I've parted ways with Fox, he remains a good friend and mentor.

For a radical progressive who once harbored negative stereotypes about folks on the right, it was a turning point for me to meet people such as Mr. Hannity, Karl Rove, Monica Crowley, Sarah Palin, and so many others, and see that – though we certainly disagree profoundly on political issues – they're personable and kind and human. Just like me.

It's strange to suggest that a seemingly simple realization such as that is in fact a profound revelation, but in our hyperpartisan era, when we often vilify the other side as being less-than-human, it is.

Once I had that experience with some of the most visible voices on "the other side" – in my case, the right – it was an easy leap to find connection and compassion with everyday conservative audiences. These aren't evil people, either, or stupid, or any of the other things that some liberals, in their lowest moments, have suggested. In fact, in many cases, I've learned that the ideological labels that feel so firm and unyielding among the professional political class are rather malleable among ordinary Americans.

Most people just want a better life for themselves and their kids. And they're worried about the things they see as barriers to that opportunity – whether it's big banks gobbling up all the money and real estate titles or higher taxes or struggling public schools or the cost of food. In real communities in real places across the United States, I've found that liberals and conservatives share many of the same concerns and problems and simply gravitate toward two different sides in searching for solutions.

Personally, I agree with the side that says our problems, our barriers to opportunity, are the result of runaway economic inequality baked into our society by giant corporations that have crippled our government and our community supports in order to get whatever they want, and as much of it, at our expense.

But if I want that viewpoint – and those who share it – to get more powerful, so that we can fix these systemic problems once and for all, then demonizing people who disagree with me won't help. In fact, I need to persuade them. And no one will even listen to your argument, let alone agree with you, if they think you don't like them.

This is where it comes full circle: According to social science research, we're more likely to be persuaded by people we like and we're more inclined to like people who, we think, like us...

The bottom line: We respond more positively to and are persuaded by people who treat us pleasantly.

If you were a salesperson trying to persuade a potential client to switch suppliers, you would be kind and friendly to that client, not dismiss them as stupid or worse for their current supplier choice. So if you're trying to sell an idea – whether on the national political stage or at a family dinner with your uncle – why would you behave any differently? Kindness, respect, finding the basic goodness and human dignity in everyone – that is the essence of emotional correctness, and that is how we begin the conversations that lead to change.

(The author, Sally Kohn, is a CNN contributor and columnist for The Daily Beast. She was previously a Fox News contributor and regular guest on MSNBC.)

Methinks the lady has a point. I especially like the last paragraph. When I was in the corporate world, I began negotiations in much the same way. Find common ground - something both sides agreed on - and proceed from there. Sadly, I'm afraid that the national discourse has become so polarized that we may have passed the point where finding common ground with the other side is no longer possible.