As a result of all the wasted time and unnecessary expenditures, all I can say is F*CK YOU, Microsoft!!!
Q. How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard.
Q: What if Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashed?
A: Oh, wait a minute, he already does!
Q: What do you call Windows Multitasking?
A: Screwing up several things at once.
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, and howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
God was fed up. In a crash of thunder he yanked up to Heaven three influential humans: Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin, and Bill Gates. "The human race is a complete disappointment," God boomed. "You each have one week to prepare your followers for the end of the world." With another crash of thunder they found themselves back on Earth.
Obama immediately called his cabinet. "I have good news and bad news," he announced grimly. "The good news is that there is a god. The bad news is, God's really mad and plans to end the world in a week."
In Russia, Putin announced, "Comrades, I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is that we were wrong: there is a god after all. The worse news is God's mad and is going to end the world in a week."
Meanwhile, Bill Gates called a meeting of his top engineers. "I have good news and better news. The good news is that God considers me one of the three most influential men on Earth," he beamed. "The better news is we don't have to fix the bugs in Windows 8."
If Microsoft was headquartered in the South:
2 comments:
I cut my teeth on Windows 3.1, spent time with 95, 98, and 2000 Pro before I was blissfully required to run Macs for school and then work for a decade. I don't work in that field anymore, and due to general lack of funding, went back to Windows 7. Talk about a major downgrade right there.
To make matters more entertaining, my computer-illiterate mother just bought a new Windows 8 laptop, so I'm trying to learn it and teach it at the same time...
Bear, I just got done replacing two PCs. What really pisses me off is that they ran XP just fine, but weren't 'powerful' enough to run Windows 7 or 8.
I gave serious though to switching to Mac, but I could get 2 Windows 7 PCs for the price of one Mac.
Windows 8 sucks to the max. Plus it costs an arm and a leg. If the cost of the next 'upgrade' is anywhere close, we're going to join you in Mac-land.
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