Sunday Funnies 06.16.2013

I've lost time while we're down here. I missed Flag Day and the U.S. Army's birthday, but hopefully this will be posted in time for Father's Day. I hope all you Dads out there enjoy it.

The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle.
He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.
"Who is the most obedient?" he asked.
"Who never talks back to mother?"
"Who does everything mother says?"
Five small voices replied in unison. "Okay daddy! You get the toy."

A small boy came up to his dad and meekly said "Daddy, Daddy, can I have another glass of water please?" The dad replied "But I've given you 10 glasses of water already son!" The little boy then said, "Oh yes daddy, but the bedroom is still on fire!"

What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.

My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.

By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead. And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower -- which means they are living but wish they were dead