Sunday, September 9, 2012

Sunday Funnies 2012.09.09

Both parties recently wrapped up their national conventions. Thus the stage is set for a whole passel of political jokes, starting with this old chestnut.
The problem with political jokes is that they often get elected.
Here's several more.


Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is."

Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your needs, so let's call you The People. We'll call the baby sitter the Working Class, and your younger brother we can call The Future. Do you understand?"

Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."

That night, awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the baby sitter's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with her. The boy wasn't sure what to do, so he returned to his room and went back to sleep.

The next morning he reported to his father.

Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."

Father: "Good! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"

Son: "Well, Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored, and the Future is full of shit."


"Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "

"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I am elected'..."


The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

"On my arrival in the United States I was struck by the degree of ability among the governed and the lack of it among the governing."
 -- Alexis de Toqueville

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy."
 -- Sir Ernest Benn