Hey Mitt - Pay Attention

Allen West, former Army colonel and current U.S. Congressman (R) from Florida, is running for re-election. Here's a 30-second TV ad he just released.


Romney needs to take a page from the Col. West playbook and go after obama the same way.

(H/T Hot Air via JammieWearing Fools)

Sunday Funnies 2012.09.30

Cell phones are in the news these days, so that's today's topic.

I was in the locker room at the gym yesterday when a cell phone laying on the bench began to ring. A man walked over and answered it. I couldn't help but overhear the conversation.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the gym?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$80,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
 MAN: "Bye, I love you too."

The man hung up. I looked at him in astonishment. Then he asked: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

We went to the movies the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a Texas Aggie sitting in the center of the row got up and started working his way across.

"Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me."

By the time he got to me I was trying to see the screen and I was a little impatient so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?"

"No!!" was the loud whisper, "The TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."

Can You Hear Me Now?

By now, you've probably seen the video of the worthless parasite obama supporter crowing about her free obamaphone. Thanks to Harper and others, it's gone viral.

What's also going viral (thanks again, Harper) is the cost of the program.

The program is called Lifeline, established in 1984, originally created to subsidize landline phone service for low income Americans, funded by government-collected telecommunication fees, paid by consumers.

In 2008, the program was expanded to support cell phones which quickly escalated the cost of the program. In 2008 the program cost $772 million, but by 2011 it cost $1.6 billion.

Take a look at your phone bill - either landline, cell phone, or both. Somewhere near the bottom is a line item labeled "Universal Service." That fee is collected by your service provider and forked over to Uncle Sam, who takes his cut and then redistributes it to low income households - often more than once.

A 2011 audit found that 269,000 wireless Lifeline subscribers were receiving free phones and monthly service from two or more carriers.

Another example of the government's fabled efficiency.

Since the story gained traction, the obamaphone web site has undergone an amazing -- and curiously timed -- transformation.

Surely this is all just a coincidence. After the video of the Obama crackhead went viral yesterday, we discovered the Obama Phone website, which showed the Empty Chair in all his glory:

Now if you pay a visit the site looks drastically different ... No longer are you treated to the Dear Leader ... much of the site now looks entirely generic, the ubiquitous Obama presence barely visible.

Hmm. You don’t think they’re embarrassed by their own supporters, are they?

If they're not, they should be.

As a special service to readers of this blog, we've compiled a list of features that differentiate the obama phone from regular cell phones (actually, The People's Cube compiled the list - we're just reposting it).

    It automatically rejects calls from people with a different opinion.

    Every time you take a picture, it produces a grimmer image of America.

    It doesn't have a plan; it just keeps telling you how bad the other guy's plan is.

    When it crashes, it blames your previous phone.

    All 3 AM calls go directly to voicemail.

    It has a really useless app called "Biden."

    Pairing it with another device sucks all the energy out of the other unit.

    Type in "job search" and it gives you directions to the welfare office.

    The navigation feature covers all 57 States.

    The default ringtone for international calls is "I'm sorry, so sorry, please accept my apology."

    The healthcare app downloads and installs itself without your permission.

    When you make a call, a teleprompter pops up to help you speak.

    Restaurant reviews are all written by Michelle Obama.

    There are never any winners on Angry Birds.

    Instagram takes two months to process a photo and you have to fill out 3 PDFs to do so.

    Paypal app is replaced with ReceivePal app.

    You can't find "Jerusalem" on Google maps.

    It turns all your Facebook friends into enemies and all your enemies into friends.

    Don't want to work? There's an app for that, too.

    It automatically bows down to phones made by foreign companies.

    When you watch a YouTube video, a US ambassador gets killed.

    When you dial "home", it calls Kenya.

    As opposed to the iPhone, it's called the mePhone.

You'll Need A Beer After You Read This

Local firm introduces a product for which there is widespread demand.

Federal government restricts sales of said product.

Politics plays a role in the fed's decision.

Surprised?

Me neither.

Feds limit sales of “Nobama Brew”

Requests are pouring in for a local brewer’s new novelty beer but the government is saying he can’t sell the brew outside of Oklahoma.

Rick Huebert’s ”Nobama Brew” has been a smash hit in the sooner state.

The owner of Huebert Brewing Company can barely keep up with demand.

“Just yesterday we had a request for about 3,000 cases from Texas and New Jersey,” Huebert said.

But Huebert has to respond to all of those requests the same way: No.

When Huebert asked the federal Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau (TTB) to approve the label for “Nobama Brew,” he specifically requested to be able to sell the beer nationwide; that request was approved via written application.

But the TTB official who approved the request, Kent “Battle” Martin, added a line to the application that reads, “THIS PRODUCT IS ONLY FOR SALE IN THE STATE OF OKLAHOMA.”

“[The form] says two things,” Huebert said. “It says I can sell it federally but then it also says I can only sell it in the state.”

We called Martin to ask why the line was added.

He told us to contact a man with TTB public relations.

That man has yet to return our phone call.

But when Rick Huebert’s lawyer, Randy Malone, called Martin, the TTB official gave a different response.

“[Martin] misunderstood that we wanted to sell outside of Oklahoma,” Malone said. “[That] is the impression I got from him.”

Malone, who has been practicing alcohol licensing law since 1989, also said he’s never heard of the TTB making such an error before.

But Huebert doesn’t understand how the TTB could misunderstand a simple application, especially one the agency processes all the time.

“From a business owner’s perspective, it seems like the federal government is doing everything they can to push down business,” Huebert said.

That, in a nutshell, is why we need to shrink the damn government.

Oh yeah - and boot obama out on his worthless ass.


Nobama Brew
Infused with Patriotism and Freedom!

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2012.09.28

Live from Luckenbach, a little C&W/conjunto/funk for your Friday afternoon pleasure.


I'm gonna have to take a road trip back up there this fall, when the weather cools down a little more. It's less than an hour from the house - if I can just get a kitchen pass...

News From The World Of Sports

Great news, sports fans!

Following in the footsteps of the Lingerie Football League (LFL), we now have the Bikini Basketball League (motto: "Excellence or Bust").

The league consists of seven teams -- the Chicago Desire, the Orlando Lady Cats, the Miami Spice, the Los Angeles Ice, the Hollywood Hotties and the Atlanta Fleet Angels. Tryouts have already taken place in the different cities, and the league will get underway in the summer of 2013.

"This is a competitive basketball league, so we are definitely looking for girls that can really play," Miami Spice representatives told the Miami New Times. "It is also a bikini league in which the girls will be playing basketball in bikinis, so looking good in a bikini is a must."

Competitive? Maybe. Looking good in a bikini? Most definitely.

Please, no jokes about dribbling all over the court.

And speaking of the Lingerie Football League, I recently came across this bit of news.

The Lingerie Football League revealed that one of the referees used as a replacement ref for the National Football League was actually fired from the LFL...

Why? According to Mitch Mortaza, commissioner of the LFL, the fired ref was "hurting overall credibility."

It's a sad day when the LFL is more concerned about its credibility than the NFL.

Don't be too quick to dismiss the LFL as a gimmick. At least one of the players can lower her shoulder and bowl over a would-be tackler.



Here's another action shot that will give you some idea of the gals' desire ... for the game.

The LFL even has its own football cards. (I'm sure that "Heather Furr" is her real name.)

I'll pass up the obvious jokes about tight ends and wide receivers.

But I will say that the LFL gives a whole new meaning to fantasy football...

Men Are Pigs

Kerrcarto recently put up a post about two reasons to watch the Food Network.

Here's my response: two reasons to drink beer.

Food For Thought

One of the attributes I try to instill in my students is that of critical thinking: the reflective and intellectually disciplined process of deconstructing, analyzing, synthesizing, and evaluating information and situations, avoiding the initial, obvious knee-jerk reaction. However, like most college professors, I am afflicted with "do as I say, not as I do" syndrome. Case in point:

SAT scores hit a four-decade low

Reading scores on the SAT for the high school class of 2012 reached a four-decade low, putting a punctuation mark on a gradual decline in the ability of college-bound teens to read passages and answer questions about sentence structure, vocabulary and meaning on the college entrance exam.

OMG!!! It's obviously all the fault of that ridiculous Department of Education and those damn teachers unions.

Well, upon further review it seems that there might be a few more contributory factors.

Many experts attribute the continued decline to record numbers of students taking the test, including about one-quarter from low-income backgrounds. There are many factors that can affect how well a student scores on the SAT, but few are as strongly correlated as family income.

There is a significant correlation between family income and test scores on the SAT, with average scores increasing with every $20,000 in additional family income.

Okay, that's a fair point. If more students from lower-income households are taking the exam, and if there is a correlation between household income and scores, then it is reasonable to conclude that more lower income students taking the exam will result in lower scores. But why?

Some argue that it's due to the 'privileged' students participating in activities that serve to better prepare them for the test, such as school organizations and clubs, summer camps, a better study environment, even tutors and prep classes. Another argument is that students from two-parent families are statistically more likely to do better, and that two-parent families generally have more household income, or at least one parent who's more involved with the kids while the other works.

But in any event, it is clear that the national trend is disturbing, and should serve as “a call to action,” College Board President Gaston Caperton said. “When less than half of kids who want to go to college are prepared to do so, that system is failing.”

Trust me, I've seen the end result of the public school pipeline. It is not encouraging.

Another thing to think about: what is the true purpose of the SAT exam? Most people's first response would be "to help decide which students should be admitted to college". But think a little deeper about that answer, and you'll soon realize that the underlying purpose of the exam is to predict which students are most likely to succeed in college. That's not quite the same thing as using it as some form of admittance criteria. So if the true purpose is to identify those students most likely to succeed, might not there be a better way?

Studies say the SAT and ACT do not predict first-year college success — the reason colleges give for requiring them — as well as high school grade point averages do. GPA also predicts college graduation rates better. The effort students put into learning during the school year, as assessed by their teachers, turns out to mean more than a four-hour test graded mostly by machines.

Other alternatives?

Why not replace the SAT and ACT with Advanced Placement, International Baccalaureate or Advanced International Certificate of Education tests? Those exams culminate college-level courses and encourage critical thinking. They require that students write many of their answers in detail.

Students who have taken those courses and exams will tell you they were good preparation for college. Unlike the SAT and ACT, they are modeled after college exams and graded by human beings.

Of course, this is like arguing how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. The real problem is not the demographic composition of SAT-takers, or whether the SAT is the best way to screen college applicants. The real problem is that our public school system is doing a dismal job of educating America's children.

And I put the blame for that squarely on that ridiculous Department of Education and those damn teachers unions...

For a truly insightful perspective on a major -- maybe even the major -- problem with our public school system, read this (there's an excerpt below, but trust me, you want to read the entire thing).

AMERICAN EDUCATION IS IN SERIOUS DISARRAY. Over the last 40 years, we've increased spending by the billions while results slide deeper into mediocrity.
 . . .

"What can be done...?" you say. There are a couple of starters: close all education departments on college campuses, eliminate tenure and have a school choice system.

The tragic thing is that the above referenced column was written thirteen years ago, and nothing has changed - not even the vast amounts of money we keep wasting by pouring it down that educational rathole.

A Tale Of Two Cities

This is where I work during the week: 

Laredo, Texas Named Least Diverse Metropolitan Area in the U.S.

Laredo, Texas, where Hispanics make up 96 percent of the metropolitan area, is the least diverse area in the United States. In 2011, of the 24,680 students in Laredo schools, 99.5 percent were Latino and 97 percent were economically disadvantaged.

It's not just Laredo. It's practically all the Texas border towns. In fact, many of them "are becoming less diverse because of rapid growth of the minority populations."

We compare this trend, somewhat tongue-in-cheek, to the spread of fire ants. They're advancing from south to north, in swarms, and you can't stop them.

But it could be worse. Let me hasten to add that, during my stays in Laredo, I've never felt threatened (at least on this side of the border), ostracized, or even uncomfortable (aside from the unrelenting heat). The Hispanic culture has a lot to admire and enjoy - a strong sense of family, a strong work ethic, a zest for life. Like any group, it also has it's share of losers (welfare addicts, professional racists, druggies, etc.), but overall the Hispanics I'm familiar with add more to the fabric of this country than they take away.

And I've learned a lot about being a minority. If you've ever lived or traveled in a country where the people don't look like you or talk like you then you know what I mean.

Now if only I could find a few radio stations down here that broadcast in English...

On the other hand, this is where I live: 

Small town gets big recognition: Boerne among America's best 

Boerne has been named one of the top 10 small towns in the United States in a new national ranking.

The town northwest of San Antonio was ranked fourth by Livability.com, a national website that highlights more than 500 of America’s best places to live and visit.

We actually live about 10 miles outside of Boerne, but our mailing address is "Boerne, TX."

The Hill Country town offers inspiration through the natural beauty of the area’s rivers, lakes, caves and trails, as well as the historic buildings, eclectic shops, restaurants and people, the site says.

The Guadalupe River is about 3 miles from our house, with the Guadalupe River State Park a few miles more downriver. - lots of tubing, kayaking, and canoeing in the summer.

 

We're also only a couple of miles away from The Cave Without A Name.

Boerne’s historic district includes about 30 shops, and the city has seven art galleries. The community turns out big numbers for events such as the Boerne Berges Fest celebrating the area’s German heritage, the Harvest Moon Celebration and the Kendall County Fair.

 

Dachshunds take to the track during the Weiner Dog Races at Boerne's Berges Fest

Boerne is surrounded by wineries and home to the Dodging Duck Brewhaus, which makes unfiltered and unpasteurized beer. In fact, nearly half of Boerne's approximately 70 restaurants are independently owned and operated.

The Dodging Duck got its name because it's located across the street from a city park that features a dammed-up creek that forms a small pond which attracts migrating ducks. They waddle into the street looking for food. When they do so, they end up dodging the cars. hence the name.

The Dodging Duck Brewhaus

One of the reasons I like this place so much - homemade beer and plenty of wine.

Livability.com editors narrowed down 500 cities to those with 25,000 or fewer residents, then looked at median household incomes and home prices, crime rates, unemployment rates, average commutes and distances to large cities. They also considered the quantity and quality of each town’s lifestyle advantages.

Top 10 Small Towns:

1. Papillion, NE
2. Golden, CO
3. Brattleboro, VT
4. Boerne, TX
5. Chardon, OH
6. Bedford, VA
7. Yankton, SD
8. Clive, IA
9. Danville, KY
10. Sheridan, WY

In an interesting coincidence, town #10 -- Sheridan, Wyoming -- is about 30 miles from the ranch we visit every summer.

Life is good...

Blood And Tacos

At last! The story of my times in Laredo has made it into print!

There was a time when paperback racks were full of men’s adventure series. Next to the Louis L’Amours, one could find the adventures of The Executioner, the Destroyer, the Death Merchant, and many more action heroes that were hell-bent on bringing America back from the brink. That time was the 1970s & ’80s. A bygone era filled with wide-eyed innocence and mustaches.

Those stories are back! The new quarterly magazine Blood & Tacos is bringing back the action, the fun, and the adventure. Also, the mustaches.

If the stories weren’t enough, Blood & Tacos will also feature fine pulpy art...

When I was a kid I used to like going to the barber shop with my old man, because while Dad sat and BS'ed with the guys, I was busy getting an eyeful of all the pulp art in the old True Detective magazines laying around.

Coming soon - Blood and Tacos: The Movie!

New Technology Isn't All Bad

Just because I teach courses in Information Systems doesn't mean I am up to date on the latest in personal technology. Take last night, for example.

I was sitting on the couch next to my teen-age son. I asked him to hand me the newspaper.

He's all into iProducts, so he scoffed at my request.

"This is the 21st century, Pops," he said. "Don't waste your time on paper. Here, you can borrow my iPad.'

"Okay," I said, "Hand it over."

That damn fly never knew what hit him...

Bonus FOD - 2012.09.24

The obama administration has spent wasted $70,000 of taxpayer dollars producing a commercial apologizing to the woefully wronged overly sensitive terrorist assholes in the Mid East who destroyed our embassies, burned our flags, and killed our citizens.



The obama administration is making plans to release 55 woefully wronged overly sensitive terrorist assholes from Gitmo in the near future.

(H/T Hope 'n Change)


The obama administration is reportedly considering releasing Omar Abdel-Rahman, a.k.a. “The Blind Sheik,” (the person behind the original attack on the World Trade Centers back in 1993) from a U.S. prison, where he is currently serving a life sentence.

Last night, in an interview on 60 Minutes, obama referred to the four dead Americans murdered in the recent Libyan consulate attack as "bumps in the road" on the way to democracy in the Middle East.

obama's idea of a bump in the road

Has there ever been a more clear-cut case of bowing, kow-towing, and appeasing such a bloodthirsty and uncivilized enemy of this country?

I damn sure can't think of one...

FOD 2012.09.24

One night, obama is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing beside him. obama asks him, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, and then fades away

The next night, obama is tossing and turning again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. obama calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight...

The third night, sleep still does not come for obama. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. obama whispers, "Franklin, What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Help the less fortunate, just as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mist...

obama isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. obama pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?"

Lincoln replies, "Go see a play..."

(H/T Mostly Cajun)

(H/T The Looking Spoon)

(H/T Moonbattery)

Sunday Funnies 2012.09.23

I gave the first exam of the semester last week. True story:

I have two versions of the exam. The questions are the same, but their order is different, as is the order of the answers for each question. I arrange the exams in one stack, alternating the versions, so that when they are passed out no student has the same version as the students on his left or right. I don't tell the students there are two different versions.

During the exam I noticed one student who kept 'casually' glancing around, lingering just a bit too long on his neighbor's exam. I didn't say anything, but noted his name. When I graded the exams his answers were a very close match to his neighbor's answers, who scored a 92.

The student with the wandering eyes got a 44.

Karma can be a bitch...

I once gave an exam that consisted solely of true/false questions. A blonde stared at the exam for a few minutes, then sighed and took a coin out of her pocket. She began tossing it in the air, and then marking her answer sheet after each toss - "Yes" for Heads and "No" for Tails. Within half-an-hour she was all done while the rest of the class was still sweating it out.

Then she starting tossing the coin again, muttering and swearing.

I walked over to her and asked "What are you doing?"

Her answer: "I finished the exam already. Now I'm rechecking my answers."

 * * * * * * * * * *

Exams are like wives:

1. Too Many Questions.
2. Difficult to Understand.
3. More Explanation is Needed.
4. Result is always FAIL!

 * * * * * * * * * *
The not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question said "Give four advantages of breast milk."

What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

1. No need to boil.
2. Cats can't steal it.
3. Available whenever necessary.
4. Available in attractive containers.

Thought For The Day

Words to live by:

Never do anything before noon that doesn't involve sleep, sex, or bacon.

I Want One!!!

I've always loved popcorn, from as far back as I can remember. One of my treasured possessions is a battered old hand-cranked popcorn popper that sits over a stove burner. It was my parents, and now its mine. It makes the popcorn equivalent of ambrosia, especially when it's topped off with real melted butter and seasoned salt. Call my a curmudgeon if you will, but I consider microwave popcorn an abomination.

So when I came across this I thought it was the neatest thing since sliced bread.



I just hope Santa Claus reads this blog...

Run It Up The Flagpole

The obama campaign has come out with a new logo. It's basically a bastardized merge of the old obama logo and the U.S. flag.

It didn't take long for the good guys to respond. (from The People's Cube)

Here's one from iOwnTheWorld that gets right to the point.

Stilton Jarlsberg of Hope n' Change fame strikes a more somber tone, damning obama and his flunkies with a sad parallel to recent tragic events.

My observation is that the colors in the obama flag are faded - just like our hopes and dreams during his administration.

If it wasn't for the fact that the money would go to obama's re-election campaign, I'd buy several of the damn things and burn them...

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2012.09.21

I've had a few nights like this, where I woke up the next morning wondering what happened...

... But I Musta Had a Good Time!

Border Violence Update

With all the nonsense that's going on around the world, and with the mainstream media obsessing over the non-story about Romney's secretly recorded comments, you probably didn't see these stories in the news recently.

Nuevo Laredo Death Toll Reaches 74

A rivalry between two organized crime groups in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, has left 11 dead over the last 48 hours, including seven on Saturday and four Monday.

“Between the seven killed on Saturday and the four on Monday we have now recorded 74 deaths since Sept. 5...”

74 dead in two weeks. That's an average of five per day. Not surprising for Chicago or Detroit, but Nuevo Laredo's population is only 375,000, not several million. The worst part is the 'collateral damage.'

Federal investigators say cartel violence has left many innocent victims dead. They cite, as an example a Sept. 11 house fire in which a family of three died. One of the dead was a 5-year-old girl.

That day, violence throughout the city resulted in several houses burning down. Twenty-seven deaths and 30 injuries were reported.

In related news: Convicts Hunted After Mexican Prison Break Near Border

The Texas border city of Eagle Pass and the surrounding county are on high alert after 132 inmates escaped Monday through a tunnel dug inside a prison near Piedras Negras, a Mexican city that borders the United States.

Piedras Negras (which translates to Black Stones or Black Rocks) is about 150 miles SW of where I live (near San Antonio), and about 100 miles NNW of where I work (Laredo).

“We are very concerned and we have tight security with our border patrol as well as state agencies,” says Maverick County, Texas, sheriff Tomas Herrera. “It would be easy to cross the border area where water is only knee high. We have 80 miles of river. In some places you can swim or walk across.”

In the U.S., the Texas Department of Public Safety has enlisted state troopers to patrol the border communities, and the U.S. Border Patrol has air boats patrolling the Rio Grande River. “They have choppers looking for them,” Sheriff Herrera says. “We are doing our part by keeping them from coming across.”

Long, isolated stretches of easily crossed border out there. Limited resources on our side. Drug smugglers familiar with the terrain. While I'm sure our LEOs are doing their best, I doubt if they'll stop all of them from crossing. Just one more reason to tote my .45 XD wherever I go.

Unfortunately, the folks featured in the following story don't have that option.

Mexican cattlemen opening a state-of-the-art inspection facility intended to speed livestock exports are facing a problem: U.S. veterinarians fear traveling to the complex.

The U.S. government inspectors in charge of checking the animals for dangerous diseases before the cattle are shipped north say they are afraid to show up at the inspection station south of the border near Laredo, Texas, because of drug-cartel-related violence.

"These folks are scared skinny," said Bill Hughes, a lawyer for National Association of Federal Veterinarians, which represents the inspectors, who are employed by the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

"Scared skinny" ... that's a new one. But I don't blame them. 74 dead in two weeks. 130 escaped criminals running around. Our own government forbids its employees to travel in the area.

The U.S. State Department recommends that Americans defer nonessential trips to Nuevo León, where there has been drug violence, and prohibits personal travel by government employees on highways in the neighboring state of Tamaulipas "due to the risks posed by armed robbery and carjacking."

Of course, that's the same State Department that failed to heed warnings about planned attacks on U.S. embassies, but that's another story.

And in true government fashion, the left hand doesn't know -- or doesn't care -- what the right hand is doing.

The Agriculture Department, which has the final say on whether the U.S. inspectors would be sent to the facility in Nuevo León, hasn't yet made a decision.

When they do, any bets which way they'll rule? A spokesperson said officials from the Ag. Dept. "deem the veterinarians' assignment to be low risk."

I wonder how many of those officials will be working the cattle pens?

Sigh...

Unanswered Question

Free speech or incitement?

Apparently if the French do it, it's free speech. If an American does it, it's incitement.

After a week of deadly international protests against an anti-Islam film, a French satirical magazine is pouring oil on the fiery debate between freedom of expression and offensive provocation.

The magazine Charlie Hebdo, which is known for outrageous humor, published cartoons featuring a figure resembling the Prophet Mohammed on Wednesday.

The issue hit the stands eight days after a video mocking the Muslim prophet triggered angry protests, including one that led to the death of the U.S. ambassador to Libya.

There has been no violence reported as a result of the Charlie Hebdo cartoons.

Interesting, no? A U.S. film allegedly triggers widespread 'spontaneous' violence (those guys with mortars and RPGs just happened to be strolling by the U.S. consulate in Benghazi when a protest broke out ... yeah, right), while a French rag publishes cartoons mocking Mohammed and there is little reaction, at least as of this point in time.

An interesting sidenote: the new cartoons are very similar to those a Danish newspaper published back in 2005. The Danish cartoons led to violent demonstrations, riots, and loss of life. There were death threats against the artists, and in an ironic precursor to the tragic events in Libya:

Two people died when protesters turned on the US airbase at Bagram (Afghanistan) - although the US has had no involvement with the images, which originated in Denmark.

I never thought I'd live to see the day when a few radical French journalists had more cojones than the entire U.S. mainstram media conglomerate.

Or the U.S. government.

Sad...

Last One For Tonight

My home away from home down here in South Texas has a somewhat unique tradition called a beer run. It's not the beer run that comes to mind of most of you - that is, a quick trip to the store to pick up a fresh supply of suds.

No, the South Texas version refers to a drive-through facility that sells you cold beer without the need for you to get out of the car, all the while being surrounded by scantily clad females gyrating obscenely.



Needless to say, the combination of beer, near-naked women, and late night hours often leads to anti-social behavior. Sometimes young punks, emboldened by the beer and fueled by excess testosterone, cross the line from good times to bad.

Rest assured, however, that the beer run folks can take care of themselves.

A man who went into (a beer run) demanding money instead got a 7-inch stiletto heel to the head, Laredo police say.

About 1 a.m. Sunday, the man pistol-whipped a Papi Chulos employee in the face and demanded money, then tried to force open a door to access the register, Laredo police spokesman Joe Baeza said.

The employee then lunged toward the man and tried to take the gun, Baeza said. During the struggle, the gun went off and struck the man in his right inner thigh, and other employees began hitting him.

“One of the female employees was successful in (taking) the handgun from the grip of the man", Baeza said. Employees “used personal weapons, including a 7-inch stiletto heel, to pummel the suspect until they were able to subdue him and take away the weapon.”

First of all, I've never considered a 7-inch stiletto heel to be a personal weapon. If Eric Holder ever hears of this, pretty soon exotic dancers will be required to get a concealed carry license.

Second, can you imagine the reception that dude got in the city lock-up?

"What happened to you, hombre?"

"I got nailed by some beer-run dancer's high heel."

Oh yeah, that'll work out well for him...

Something Else I Don't Understand

I'm on a roll tonight, and I'll pay for it tomorrow, but at this point in time I don't care. (I'm giving an exam tomorrow, so I don't have to lecture - just sit in the front of the classroom and every so often grunt "Keep your eyes on your own paper.")

Anyway, it's not like I've been hit with some divine burst of inspiration. It's just that there is so much ridiculous crap going on these days that the stories literally fall into my lap. Like this one:

In a move that has taken some parents by surprise, the (Cranston, Rhode Island) school department has announced that it is banning traditional "father-daughter" and "mother-son" activities, saying they violate state law.

Supt. Judith Lundsten said the move was triggered by a letter from the American Civil Liberties Union on behalf of a single mom who had complained that her daughter had not been able to attend her father-daughter dance.

As iOwnTheWorld  noted, "Let me get this straight.  A woman couldn’t keep her man and is bitter, so everyone else has to suffer?"

Right there in a nutshell is my biggest problem with liberals, and muslims, and other narrow-minded intolerant losers. Their mindset is "if I can't do it, or if I disapprove of it, then no one should be allowed to do it."

Okay, maybe your daughter, for whatever reason (and it might in fact be a very valid one) doesn't have a father around. Thus the father-daughter dance becomes problematic for her. But why on God's green earth punish everyone else? Why not just accept the fact that life isn't fair, suck it up, and not ruin things for all the fathers and daughters out there?

I just don't get it...

Middle Class? How About No Class?

Who's hurting the middle class?

Tax penalty to hit nearly 6M uninsured people

Nearly 6 million Americans — significantly more than first estimated— will face a tax penalty under President Barack Obama's health overhaul for not getting insurance, congressional analysts said Wednesday. Most would be in the middle class.

The new estimate amounts to an inconvenient fact for the administration, a reminder of what critics see as broken promises.

The numbers from the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office are 50 percent higher than a previous projection by the same office in 2010, shortly after the law passed.

Average penalty: about $1,200 in 2016.

And who's out of touch with the middle class?

Beyoncé & Jay-Z host NY Bam ba$h

Nix the flags and the podium. Cue the opulent 18-foot tower of gold-bottled French champagne.

When President Obama addresses an elite roster of hipsters and multimillionaires, including hosts Beyoncé and Jay-Z, in New York tonight, he will do so next to a custom-designed tower of $800-per-bottle champagne that dominates the main room at Jay-Z’s 40/40 nightclub.

But the White House, which meticulously controls Obama’s image, is not expected to release any photos of the president’s appearance at the lavish club.

Details of the party are “under lock and key,” according to the rep, and the White House was guarding the guest list as if it were the latest intelligence profile of Iran’s nuclear program.

All the campaign would say yesterday was that the president would speak to about 100 people at the $40,000-per-person event, after addressing 200 donors at a $12,500-per-family reception at the Waldorf.

Protector of the middle class ... most transparent administration ever ... yeah, right...

Almost Forgot About This

Today is Talk Like A Pirate Day!

In honor thereof, here are the Top Ten Talk Like A Pirate Pickup Lines.

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd ye like to scrape the barnacles off me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down.

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Actually, my 18-year-old son got a head start on today. He went out with some friends last Saturday to celebrate a buddy's birthday. They went to a place called Twin Peaks. We found out later that it's a PG semi-topless place, kind of like a Hooters, with a pirate theme (their slogan is "Check out our Treasure Chest."). The waitresses dress like pirate wenches.

I told him next time he goes there to let me know...

Poetic Justice

Old Glory Strikes Back

Apparently, the Stars and Stripes is doing something the Obama Administration won't allow the Marine Embassy Guards do - fight back.

As reported by the International Herald-Tribune (of Pakistan), one of the many anti-American, flag burning protesters in that nation died from inhaling toxic fumes from torched U.S. flags.

Witnesses said the dead man had complained of feeling ill after breathing fumes from the burning flags. Not surprising, since they were probably made in China, and we all know that the Chinese record on product safety leaves a lot to be desired. But we shouldn't let that spoil this feel-good moment.

John Wayne Rules!!!

Lots of crap going on the last few days. Here's the ultimate response.

Sauce For The Goose

I really am sick and tired of all the Sturm und Drang about the recent Mid-East violence. The left seems bound and determined to blame the whole mess on some poorly crafted indie film that 'allegedly' offends a bunch of pedophile-worshiping woman-abusing civilian-killing intolerant uncivilized savages (with all due respect to Peter, whom I admire, respect, but disagree with).

In any event, if what the leftists allege is true -- that is, a film incited all this recent violence -- then it only stands to reason that we should discourage any other similar films.

Right?

White House Must Stop Sony from Releasing 'Killing bin Laden' Film

Now that the White House and State Department have made clear that they believe movies compel terrorists to terrorize, it's time for them to get ahead of this problem. And one thing the White House can do immediately is to pressure Sony to stop the release of director Kathryn Bigelow's "Zero Dark Thirty," which celebrates the killing of Osama bin Laden.

I'm only saying this because, you know, the White House and the media told me movies inflame and cause terrorism.

Think about it: if the poorly produced and laughably bad trailer for "The Innocence of Muslims" results in chaos, murder, and the burning of foreign outposts all throughout the Middle East, how much rioting and mayhem is a big-budgeted, slickly produced, Oscar-bait blockbuster celebrating the death of the leader of al-Qaeda going to cause?

Moreover, an excuse Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will not be able to use in the case of "Zero Dark Thirty" (as she did with "Innocence of Muslims") is the cowardly and self-righteous claim that the federal government and the Obama White House had nothing to do with "Zero Dark Thirty."

Because the federal government and the Obama White House had everything to do with "Zero Dark Thirty."

As we now know, in an effort to get this glitzy in-kind contribution (tens of millions of dollars) up on the screen in time to affect the election, it was the Obama Administration that gave the filmmakers tons of encouragement and a troubling amount of access to all kinds of classified material.

But this very same Obama Administration has since learned that it wasn't the Obama Doctrine of disengaging with the Middle East and embracing the Muslim Brotherhood that caused all this mayhem and murder last week. It was a movie.

This means that the only responsible thing for the Obama Administration to do is to get proactive and, in the interest of national security and to help ensure the safety of Americans overseas, put as much pressure as they can on Sony to stop the distribution of "Zero Dark Thirty."

After all, this is what the Administration did to YouTube to stop the distribution of "The Innocence of Muslims."

And I'm certain no one in Hollywood would be alarmed if the government were to pressure Sony not to release its film. Why would they if they won't stand up for the "Innocence of Muslims" filmmaker being persecuted by our government and media overlords today?

You know, because movies create terrorism

Constitution Day

Two hundred and twenty-five years ago, on September 17, 1787, the U.S. Constitution was signed by thirty-nine statesmen who literally changed the course of history by establishing the foundation for the greatest country this world has ever known.

Now if we could only get the current statesmen politicians scum-sucking freeloaders in Washington D.C. to read it.

Of course, reading may be asking too much of them. Watching cartoons is probably more their speed...


And in a sad commentary on the state of the Constitution today, we have this:

 

Go here for the original image - and many more.

FOD 2012.09.17

There's just so much wrong -- sickeningly, disgustingly wrong -- with the way obama and his administration have screwed up things in the Middle East that I don't have the time, energy, or bandwidth to catalog them all. So I'm going to go with Clint Eastwood and the Top Ten Reasons An Empty Chair Is Better Than Obama.

(H/T Curmudgeonly and Skeptical)

Kitchen Follies

A friend of mine is a big bird hunter. He goes quite often to various states around the country, depending on when and where birds are in season. He's pretty good at it, so he usually has a freezer full of different birds. He gave us a few pheasants recently, so I figured I'd make roast pheasant for dinner last night.

Those of you that cook with wine know that most dishes only use a cup or less. That means most of the bottle is available for drinking, since wine really doesn't keep that well. The recipe I was using called for a cup of wine, so I opened a bottle, measured out a cup, and set it aside. Then I poured myself a glass and commenced to chop and mix as I sipped.

Chop ... sip ... chop some more ... sip some more ... chop some more ... refill glass ... chop ... sip ... mix ... sip ... shop ... chip ... six ... well, you get the idea.

Plus I may have neglected to mention that I had a few beers during the day while watching football. That may have contributed to what happened next.

One of the ingredients called for in the recipe was chili powder.

Have you ever noticed how much chili powder and cinnamon look alike...?

Actually, the birds turned out pretty good. The cinnamon gave them a somewhat unusual flavor, but there weren't any leftovers, which is how I judge a meal's success.

Still, I don't think I'll recreate that particular recipe...