Sunday, August 19, 2012

Sunday Funnies 2012.08.19

The Fall 2012 semester starts tomorrow. I'll resume my weekly commute between Laredo and Central Texas. That's bad enough, but the worst part is getting back on that endless treadmill featuring ungrateful and unprepared students, ignorant administrators, and a mind-numbing routine.

Oh well, at least it pays the bills ... sort of...

Last semester I had a student who was habitually late to class. I finally decided to teach him a lesson. Near the end of class I went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. When I got to the tardy student I asked him about a topic that was covered early in class before he arrived.

His response: "I don't know."

"Perhaps if you came to class on time, you would know the answer," I pointed out.

"I doubt it," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"

A friend of mine who teaches physics was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information"

"To save lives," my friend responded, and then continued the lecture.

A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.

"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied my frined.

Q:  What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

A:  A college professor


Toejam said...

Sounds like you're really anxious to get back into the "educator role";)

Harper said...

The first three days for my kid have been filled with classes and seminars focused on academic success initiatives. She sat through a class on how to write an essay (I realize there are many kids who need this) and met with a mentor who suggested she take no more than 13 hours her freshman and sophomore years. Do they pay professors to encourage the five year plan?

Old NFO said...

Sigh... More power to you Sir, I couldn't put up with what you do!

CenTexTim said...

Toejam - I live to teach ;-)

Harper - It's called enlightened self-interest. The longer it takes them to graduate, the more job security we have.

NFO - I suspect it's like your job: good points and bad. I put in my time in uniform and in the corporate world. Maybe someday I'll find something I like.

Quality control inspector at the Shiner brewery? Game control manager on a South Texas trophy ranch? Wardrobe fitter for Victoria's Secret?

Hey, a guy can dream...