Sunday, September 25, 2011

Sunday Funnies 2011.09.25

The last few posts have talked about exams, so let's carry on with that theme.

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A gorgeous young co-ed came into my office after the exam. She glanced down the hall, closed my door, and knelt down pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam," she said.

She leaned closer to me, gazed meaningfully into my eyes, and slowly licked her lips. "I mean..." she whispered, "...I would do...anything."

I stared into her eyes. "Anything?"

"Anything."

My voice became husky as I repeated "Anything??"

"Absolutely anything."

My voice turned into a deep whisper. "Would you...study?"

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Two college students had a big exam coming up. They decided to party instead. They showed up at the exam and told the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit more time to study.

The professor told them that they could have another day to study. Both students crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything.

Arriving to class the next morning, each was told to go to two separate classrooms to take the exam. They just shrugged and did as they were told. As each sat down, they read the directions:

"For 5 points, define an information system. For 95 points, tell me WHICH tire was flat."

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The week before the exam I reminded my class that I would not give any make-up exams. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class started laughing and snickering.

I smiled at the student, shook my head, and said, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."


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3 comments:

JT said...

Have to show that last cartoon to my oldest. The kid that is ranked #1 in her class is there because she is 'sick' every exam day and then asks around about what was on the test. Several kids went to the principal last year with printouts of FB and AIM sessions showing she asked about test questions. What was done, in accordance with their zero tolerance for academic dishonesty policy? Not. A. Damn. Thing. Oh, the girl did de-friend all of them on FB. That's harsh...

CharlieDelta said...

How important are ethics in today's society?

plural noun

1. ( used with a singular or plural verb ) a system of moral principles: the ethics of a culture.

2. the rules of conduct recognized in respect to a particular class of human actions or a particular group, culture, etc.: medical ethics; Christian ethics.

3. moral principles, as of an individual: His ethics forbade betrayal of a confidence.

4. ( usually used with a singular verb ) that branch of philosophy dealing with values relating to human conduct, with respect to the rightness and wrongness of certain actions and to the goodness and badness of the motives and ends of such actions.

Not too important that last I witnessed...

CenTexTim said...

Harper, the recurring theme here seems to be lack of consequences for what is clearly wrong behavior. Here's another example where a couple of kids got off scot-free when there obviously should have been some sort of punishment.