Q: Where do quarterbacks go when they get old?
A: Out to pass-ture.
Q: What do you call a lineman's kids?
A: Chips off the old blocker.
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Football commentator and former Washington Redskins player Joe Theismann
"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."
- Phyllis Diller
Two guys are talking about an upcoming wedding. One says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 95 years old, and she's just 24! What kind of a wedding is that?"
The other says, "It's a football wedding."
The first asks, "What's a football wedding?"
The second replies, "She's waiting for him to kick off."