Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Happy Cinco de Mayo 2015

There are a couple of ways to approach today. One, you can get upset at the fact that lots of people - Mexicans and Americans - are celebrating a Mexican holiday.

Or two, you can just go with the flow, pop open a cerveza fria, amd have a good time. I, for one, am not above using obscure Mexican battles to justify my drinking.
Hooray for Cinco de Mayo, the day America celebrates Mexico's victory over France
Some background: The Mexican army was about half the size of the French army. However, the Mexicans routed the French, who threw down their weapons and ran away, thus starting a French tradition that continues to this day.
Even though El Dia de la Batalla de Puebla is only celebrated regionally in Mexico, it's a big party in the United States. Sure, we import a lot of holidays here to the U.S., but why do Americans celebrate a holiday that most of Mexico ignores? And the answer -- just like it is to marital problems -- is heavy drinking.

May 5 celebrations in Mexico are mostly kept to the Puebla region where the battle occurred. But in the United States, it's a different holiday entirely. The modern celebration has become very popular among 10 people in Mexico and Americans who do whatever advertisers tell them ...
Some observations:

Cinco de Mayo commemorates the Mexican Army’s surprise victory over sobriety back in 1862.

In honor of Cinco de Mayo, it is the one day of the year when if you get pulled over for drunk driving, the police put salt around the rim of the breathalyzer.

For Cinco de Mayo, I went to an authentic Mexican restaurant. The waiter poured me a glass of water and advised me not to drink it.

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England.  In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank .... and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss.

Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th.... and is known....of course....as Sinko de Mayo....

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.  'How was he killed?' asked one detective.

'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.

'A golf gun? What's a golf gun?' asked the first detective.

'I don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan.'


Bag Blog said...

I once tried to tell my students in Taos, NM, that Cinco de Mayo was not their independence day. They didn't believe me. I explained that Sept. 16th was considered Mexico's Independence Day. They don't celebrate that or know anything about it. Then I really pissed them off when I explained that they were actually Texans, since Texas claimed the land east of the Rio Grande up to the headwaters in CO. Then I did my duty and gave them a bilingual education - how to speak with a Texas accent.

CenTexTim said...

It's comforting to know that kids from another culture are just as ignorant of their history as ours are.