Sunday Funnies 2016.05.15

Our kids are home from college for the summer - or at least for part of the summer. They'll be coming and going according to the demands of summer classes, internships, and of course, 'educational' weekend trips and outings. In fact, daughter dearest just left ... to attend a concert ... in Austin, which is about 80 miles NE of us. I shudder to think what she's learning there.

Anyway, you might be a college student:

If you have ever price shopped for Ramen noodles.
If you live in a house with three couches, none of which match.
If you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.
If your underwear supply dictates the time between laundry loads.
If you have ever had to justify buying Natural Light.
If your trash can is overflowing and your bank account isn't.
If your idea of "doing your hair" is putting on a baseball cap.
If you get more sleep in class than in your room.
If you consider McDonald's "real food."
If you know the pizza delivery guy by name.
If your weekend begins Thursday afternoon and ends Monday morning.

You might be the parent of a college student if:

Your potted plants stay alive.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
You carry an umbrella.
You watch the Weather Channel.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
MTV News is no longer your primary source of information.
You go to the drugstore for ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
A $4 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
"I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
You don't get liquored up at home to save money before going to a bar.

Things I tell my college-age kids:

Don't major in astronomy. You'll just be taking up space.
Your grade in Marine Biology better be above sea-level.
Home is like college, except the lectures are free.

My wife treats the kids like royalty when they get home, especially when it comes to fixing their favorite foods...

... but they're in for a shock once they finally graduate.