Sunday Funnies 2015.05.31

The big news down here this week is the weather - more specifically, the rain.

Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?

A: Fowl weather.

 One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, "The big sissy."

A motorist is making his way down a flooded road after a night of torrential rain. Suddenly he sees a man’s head sticking out of a large puddle. He stops his car and asks the man if he needs a lift.

‘No thanks,’ says the man. ‘I’m on my bike.’

A small boy is woken by a huge crash of thunder. He runs into his parents’ room, where his father comforts him.

‘Don’t be afraid of the thunder,’ he says. ‘It’s just a noise that God makes when someone tells a lie.’

‘But why is it thundering now?’ asks the boy. ‘It’s the middle of the night and everyone is asleep.’

'I know,’ replies father. ‘But it’s around this time that they start to print the newspapers.’