Thursday, May 21, 2015

Do You Think I'm Sexy*

Imagine my surprise when I found out that babes everywhere consider me the hottest thing around this summer.

Well, not me individually, but me as a prototype for the latest trend that has ladies going ga-ga; the Dadbod.
Worried about getting in shape for the beach season? Maybe you feel just like me, that you have an extra couple of pounds around your waist and belly? Don’t worry. You will be the hottest thing this summer.

Because the latest trend is the “dadbod”, or the dad body.
What exactly is the "dadbod," you ask?
The dad bod is a nice balance between a beer gut and working out. The dad bod says, "I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time." It's not an overweight guy, but it isn't one with washboard abs, either.
A typical Dadbod.
So why do chicks dig the Dadbod? Here's what the ladies say.
It doesn't intimidate us.
Few things are worse than taking a picture in a bathing suit, one being taking a picture in a bathing suit with a guy who is crazy fit. We don't want a guy that makes us feel insecure about our body. We are insecure enough as it is. We don't need a perfectly sculpted guy standing next to us to make us feel worse.

We like being the pretty one.

We love people saying "they look cute together." But we still like being the center of attention. We want to look skinny and the bigger the guy, the smaller we feel and the better we look next to you in a picture.

Better cuddling.

No one wants to cuddle with a rock. Or Edward Cullen. The end.

Good eats.

The dad bod says he doesn't meal prep every Sunday night so if you want to go to Taco Tuesday or $4 pitcher Wednesday, he'd be totally down. He's not scared of a cheat meal because he eats just about anything and everything.

You know what you're getting.
Girls tend to picture their future together with their guys early on. Therefore, if he already has the dad bod going on, we can get used to it before we date him, marry him, have three kids. We know what we are getting into when he's got the same exact body type at the age of 22 that he's going to have at 45.
Adding icing to the cake, there is research that indicates men with Dadbods make better lovers.

Men With Big Bellies Make Better Lovers (Says Science)
Hey ladies: take a break from chasing that six-packed Adonis and instead divert your gaze to the oft-overlooked Homer Simpson doppelganger. You may thank us for it.

A study out of Turkey concluded that overweight men with obvious bellies last longer in bed than their thinner counterparts. These heroic researchers (dedicated to finding answers to life's big problems) studied the BMI and sexual performance of 100 men seeking help for sexual dysfunctions contrasted against 100 men who reported no problems.

The result? Men with a higher BMI and, yes, unsightly guts, lasted an average of 7.3 minutes where the slimmer of the group could barely hold on for 2 minutes. Ouch, right? A five-minute difference is pretty significant. As in three times as long kind of significant. In fact, they found skinnier guys more likely to suffer from premature ejaculation, too.
So there you have it, ladies. If you want to be hip and with-it, plus get mind-blowing sex to boot, find yourself a guy with a little padding around the midsection.

Once you've had Dadbod, you'll never go back...

*Another 'name that title reference' contest.

3 comments:

Bag Blog said...

I do find the dadbod very sexy. So sexy that I posted a photo on my blog of my man with his dadbod. I have to say that he has not lost his figure. In fact, he has added to it. So reassuring:)

CenTexTim said...

LOL!

Bear said...

Dad Dadbod count for non-Dads? Because I've been sporting that look for a long, long time.