Sunday, March 1, 2015

Sunday Funnies 2015.03.01

I know people in other parts of the country are having a much colder winter than those of us deep in the heart of Texas, but I really don't care. By our standards it's been damn cold around here. The picture below shows cactus on our property surrounded by ice-covered native grass.

That's just not right.


 In fact, it's so cold here that:
...the optician is giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses!

...our kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: "But Mom, my pyjamas haven't thawed out yet!"

...we had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords!

...we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up!

...we had to salt the hallway!

...I have a new excuse for drinking vodka. "But dear, it's the only thing that's still liquid!"

...we're making our beds with sheets of ice and blankets of snow.

Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning:

"Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back:

"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later:

"Computer is really screwed up now.”









6 comments:

Old NFO said...

Good ones and all true... As I look out the window at freezing rain falling... sigh

Bag Blog said...

The Maxine cartoon is actually true. Not that I am as old as Maxine. In fact, she looks a lot like my mother-in-law.

CenTexTim said...

NFO - it has been a long winter, hasn't it.

BB - I'll take your word for it... :-)

Well Seasoned Fool said...

We need more snow and freezes; too mild a winter. We will pay for it this summer.

Harper said...

Three snow days last week with Friday being the worst case scenario; the bad weather hit at 8:30 am, schools closed and let all those teenage drivers out on icy roads. It took me 2 hours and 20 minutes for an 18 mile trip. It is going to be 70 degrees on Tuesday and then sleet again on Wednesday. Ugh.

CenTexTim said...

WSF - I'm sure the northeast would be glad to give you some of their snow - or even Dallas...

Harper - stock up on the necessities - beer and wine...