Sunday, September 8, 2013

Sunday Funnies 2013.09.08

This weekend is the first full weekend of college football. While it's hard for some of us to believe the season has started at last (the temperature down here yesterday was a most decidedly unfootball-like 100+ degrees), we nevertheless spent Saturday in front of the TV rooting against every single SEC team ... and Notre Dame.

During dinner one night, our friend Jim told us of his days playing football in college as a defensive lineman.

“Did you play sports in college?” his wife asked me.

“Yes,” I answered. “I was on West Point’s shooting team.”

“That’s great,” she said, appropriately impressed. “Offense or defense?”

A young boy and his mother were in the cemetery visiting the grave of a loved one. They came upon a headstone that read, “Here lies an Alabama graduate and an honest man.”

The boy asked his mother, “Mommy, why did they bury two men in there?”

Q:  Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
A:  So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and wear it to pick up trash on Monday.

Q:  How many Florida freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  None. That’s a sophomore course.

Q:  How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
A:  Tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

Q:  You are stuck in a cave with an angry grizzly bear, a mountain lion, and a Texas A&M fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A:  Shoot the Aggie fan…twice.

Q:  If three LSU football players are in a car, who is driving?
A:  The police officer.

I know that a few Washington Redskins fans drop by here from time to time. Here's one for them.

Q: What is the difference between a Redskins fan and a puppy?
A: After a while the puppy will stop whining.


Old NFO said...

Heh, pretty much all true!!!

JT said...

Tim, Tim, Tim...

I was going to take you to task for knocking the fine university that your son is now attending.

I was going to respond to your smearing of my beloved Redskins with any number of Cowboys jokes...

And yet, I think this will do for now:

Texas 21
BYU 40

CenTexTim said...

NFO - I'm glad that you, unlike some people, have a sense of humor.

Harper - Yeah, I know. I saw that one coming last night...