Sunday, September 1, 2013

Sunday Funnies 2013.09.01

Hope you're enjoying the Labor Day weekend!

  • Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?  -- Edgar Bergen
  • Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.  -- Robert Orben
  • One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.  -- Bertrand Russell

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it ...mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.
Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
I tried self-employment but I couldn’t get along with the boss.

A business owner walked through his office and found an employee playing video games on his computer.
“Why aren’t you working?” he asked.
“Because I didn’t see you coming,” answered the employee.

1 comment:

Old NFO said...

All good ones, as usual! :-)