Houston Sucks

I lived there for around 20 years, from the early 1980's to 2001. When I finally escaped from that God-forsaken place I swore never to return. I was faithful to that oath until last weekend, when fate forced my hand.

How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.

Houston is the poster child for urban sprawl - on steroids.

• When I left the city was overrun with hypercongested 8 lane freeways. Now they have hypercongested 12-lane freeways - plus toll roads.

• When I left there was construction on the Katy freeway (IH 10 west of town). When I returned 10 years later there was construction on the Katy freeway.

• Houston is the largest city in the United States without formal zoning regulations (like fire and freedom, that can be both a blessing and a curse). One consequence of this is the emergence of multiple business and commercial districts, rather than one central downtown like most cities. This just reinforces the sprawl.

When we lived there, our representative (Sheila Jackson Lee) was the dumbest member of congress. She still is.

Throw in the relentless heat and humidity, the 747-sized mosquitoes (the place was built on a swamp, for God's sake), occasional hurricanes, the high crime rate, the lousy sports teams, and much, much more, and you have the recipe for a giant FAIL of a city.

The only two things I miss are some good friends we made during our exile there, and the world-class restaurants. But our friends have a standing invitation to visit us (which several of them do on a regular basis), and we have a few decent eateries where we live (plus my wife and I can fumble our way around the kitchen fairly well).

I guess the recent trip was worthwhile. It reminded me of how lucky we were to get out of that town with our health and sanity (mostly), and how fortunate we are to live where we do.