Mixed Up

Still catching up on a bunch of things that got neglected over the last two weeks - including a mound of laundry. How on earth did I accumulate so many dirty clothes when all I wore was a swim suit and t-shirts?

Anyway, here's a few examples of how easy it is to get things mixed up.


Prayer for 2011

Dear Lord, all I ask for 2011 is a big fat bank account and a slim body. Please don't get them mixed up like you did last year.

Man's Best Friend

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most  handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...

No, wait... Sorry.

I'm thinking of whiskey.

It’s whiskey that does all that shit.

Never mind.

Educational TV

The wife and I were at home watching TV. I had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.

She became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For God's sake! Leave it on the porn channel!  You already know how to fish!"