Division of Labor

A few days ago I posted an innocent remark about my wife's housework duties. Since then, there has been a deluge of responses from overly-sensitive women (well, okay, only one comment, and it was relatively reasonable). But I thought I should clear the air regarding the division of labor around here.

It's pretty traditional. I do everything outside that requires power tools or heavy manual labor - mowing, edging, chopping down trees, digging holes, etc. The Mrs. is responsible for the more refined tasks - pruning, watering, fertilizing, that sort of thing. This is not sexist. She has a green thumb, I have a black one. Plants left under my care tend to wither and die.

Inside, it's much the same. My pet peeve is clutter, so I pick things up. Her pet peeve is dirt, so she gets to indulge her unnatural fetish for vacuuming and dusting. To facilitate this, I go in another room and watch TV.

That leaves cooking. Our kids are old enough to fend for themselves, so they're responsible for their own breakfasts. On weekends we tend to have large late breakfasts, usually the standards - pancakes, omelets, bacon and eggs, etc. Since our schedules vary, lunches are pretty much every man for himself. My wife and I generally take turns fixing dinner. Whoever cooks, the other cleans up. On weekends we usually work together, cranking up the music and sharing a little wine as we waltz around the stove. Occasionally we go out to dinner, although this doesn't always turn out well.

The main exception is when we do a little grilling. Since I'm the man, and men specialize in meat and fire, the following chain of events are put into motion:

   1. The woman goes to the store.
   2. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert
   3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.
   4. The man places the meat on the grill.
   5. The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
   6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
   7. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
   8. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
   9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
  10. Everyone praises the man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.
  11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off."

And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

I hope that clears everything up...