Sunday Funnies 2013.07.21

I'm not going to waste my time or yours by rehashing all the crap put out there by the media about the Trayvon Martin shooting. The picture below is worth a thousand words.

Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report how conservatives oppose light and prefer to keep the poor in the dark, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that the light bulb manufacturer hired someone to break the bulb in the first place.

George W. Bush and barack obama were in a boat. The boat capsized. Both men walked on top of the water to reach shore. The next day the headlines read:

"obama walks on water. Bush can't swim."

After wading through all the inarticulate and biased coverage about the George Zimmerman trial, I went to my local hospital and told the desk nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

"There is no such doctor" she tells me. "Perhaps you would like to see someone else?"

"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," I said.

"But there is no such doctor," she replied. "We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."

I repeated "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

We went around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: "Mister, there is no such thing as an eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?"

"Because," I replied, "I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."

Jay Leno had a great idea for an inexpensive Halloween costume: “Wear a re-elect Obama button and go as a journalist”