Sunday, July 24, 2011

Tim Reads The Paper

Today's headlines:


Heat Wave Torments East Coast

** Yawn. Just a routine summer for us down here, although it is a little drier than usual. But since it's happening to the east coast it must be news. Of course, it is evidence of global warming. Oh, wait...**
1935 – The dust bowl heat wave reaches its peak, sending temperatures to 109°F (44°C) in Chicago and 104°F (40°C) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And THIS summer they’re acting like it’s THE WORST THING EVARRRRRR!!!!!!


Amy Winehouse found dead of a drug overdose

** Yawn. Another entertainer who couldn't handle success. Sad, yes, but not really a surprise. **


NFL Strike Continues

** Yawn. Billionaires squabbling with millionaires. **


NBA Strike Continues

** Yawn. More billionaires squabbling with millionaires. **


Debt Ceiling Talks Continue

** Yawn. Millionaire politicians squabbling over how much of our money to take from us, and what to waste it on. What else is new? **

-- 30 --

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Amy,

I told ya Darwin rules.

But you were so busy gulping down bottles of Quaaludes, snorting mountains of Coke, pretending to be the canvas for some dope-fuelled tattoo artist and washing those down with gallons of Vodka you didn't hear me.

The religion of "ME" ain't gonna help you now.