Sunday Funnies 2015.04.05

Have a Happy -- and Blessed -- Easter!

Q: What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket?
A: Two points, just like anyone else.

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone knowing he's been screwing chickens.

After the big egg hunt on Easter Sunday, a farm boy decided to play a little prank on all of the chickens. He went into the chicken coop and replaced every single brown egg with a brightly colored one from his Easter basket.

A few minutes later the rooster walked in and saw all of the colored eggs. He let out an outraged "Squawk" and then stormed outside and killed the peacock.

Fluffy, the young Easter orphan bunny and Cedric the orphan snake lived in the forest; they were, by an amazing coincidence, both blind from birth.

One morning, bright and early Fluffy was hopping through the forest when he tripped over the body of Cedric who was basking in the sunlit undergrowth. Fluffy landed quite hard on the prostrate body of Cedric.

'Crikey,' exclaimed Fluffy the bunny, 'I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to squash you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what creature I am.'

'That's OK, mate,' commented Cedric the snake. 'Actually my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you and work out what you are, so at least you'll be able to find that out.'

'What a marvelous idea,' replied Fluffy the bunny.

So the Cedric slithered all over Fluffy and said, 'Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit.'

'Oh, thank you, thank you,' cried Fluffy with tremendous pleasure. Then Fluffy the bunny suggested to the snake, 'Perhaps I could be allowed to feel you all over with my paw and help you the same way that you've helped me.'

So Fluffy the bunny felt Cedric the snake all over and summarized, 'Well, you're smooth and slippery, you have a forked tongue and no backbone.  I'd say you must be a politician.'