Last night our 16-year-old son got his first grounding.
It's a natural progression, a rite of passage, if you will. It's not that he did anything really bad. It was more an unthinking stretching of the boundaries.
His crime? He went down to the river with some friends and spent the day swimming, tubing, playing frisbee, and just in general hanging out. No problem there - he had permission, and we knew where he was, who he was with, and in general what he was doing. The problem started when it got dark and he went over to his buddy's house without checking in - and turned his cell phone off. That's the kind of reasoning our Labrador used to do when she would run off and refuse to look at us when we called her. She figured if she didn't see us she didn't have to come. He figured if we couldn't contact him he didn't have to come home.
So along about 8:00 last night his mother started to get worried. By 9:00 she was convinced he was lying in a ditch somewhere hurt and bloody, if not dead. I figured he was just being an irresponsible teenager, and would show up sooner or later.
It was later - around 10:00.
I was just going to give him the "where have you been - you scared your mother half to death" lecture, but I never got a chance. As soon as he walked in the door his mother laid into him, demanded the car keys, and informed him he was grounded for the rest of the weekend.
To his credit, he knew he done wrong, and took it like a man. I later explained to him that her reaction was so strong because she was so worried. Today she'll make it up to him by fixing him a big breakfast (well, more like brunch) and his favorite desert.
Makes me wonder if maybe he's smarter than we give him credit for, and planned the whole thing...
UPDATE: As Harper has pointed out (see the comments below), mom guilt is a powerful force. My wife cooked 2 1/2 ponds of bacon this morning, and is currently bustling around the kitchen making brownies and a key lime pie. Not that I'm complaining...
Sammiches.
20 hours ago
2 comments:
I think cell phones have made it worse. When they don't answer it, you just know it is because they are unconscious or dead.
Nothing like mom guilt. I spent the whole commute to school one morning tearing my oldest to shreds over several things. She got out of the car in tears. I barely made it until lunch time, when I brought her a fancy take out lunch from her favorite restaurant, just so I could apologize and hug her before one of us was struck dead and our last memory was of the fight we had had. Probably not the best way to reinforce discipline.
Didn't have a "cell-phone" when I was 16 (1958). On weekends and holidays I was sent packing early in the morning with my friends on bicycles and I was ORDERED to be home shortly after dark (about 9:00 PM).
Result of being a half-hour late (one time):
1) Mother-Shouting and threatening me with physical abuse.
2) Father- Not a word, but plenty of physical abuse (actually, just a few hard raps on the ass).
Result: One offense only. The message got through even without them "texting" it.
PS: I'm 69-years old and still don't have a cell-phone. They're the work of the devil. You want me? Call on my land line and leave a message.
Of course, my daughter opines: "What if it's an emergency?"...........That's why God invented 911, I reply!
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