Much Better

The vacationer-in-chief has been forced indoors by the rain, curtailing his golf-outing-per-day plans. However, the Resourceful One lives to make lemonade out of lemons, so during his enforced hiatus from the links he has huddled with his Golf Czar to revise the rules of golf.

This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being rewritten now. Here are a few basic changes.

Golfers with handicaps:
- below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
- between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
- above 18 will get a check each time they play.

The dollar amount placed in bets will be as follows:
-for handicaps below 10, an additional $10.
-between 11 and 18, no additional amount.
-above 18, you will receive the total amount in the pot even if you do not play.

The term "gimme" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used as follows:
-handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
-handicaps between 11 and 18, entitlements for putter length putts inside the leather.
-handicaps above 18, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up.

These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring. In addition, a player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again. This redistribution of strokes will help ensure equality of outcome.

These new rules are intended to get the game of golf out of the ditch that Bush and the Republicans drove it into.

Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with Ability...