Thursday, February 4, 2010

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

This whole "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT) issue has opened a whole can of worms. I won't reinvent the wheel - others have produced ones far rounder than I can here and here - but I will add my $.02 worth.

First, a little background. I like to think I'm pretty tolerant when it comes to social issues. For example, I'm okay with gay marriage. As Kinky Friedman says, "I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us."

Next,
my military service was during the Viet Nam era, so I'm not all that familiar with conditions in today's armed services. Back then it was open squad bays, open latrines (that is, no stalls), open showers, etc.

I agree with those who say that a person's sexual orientation shouldn't matter, as long as they do their job. I could care less about the race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation of the person who is providing me cover fire, or dragging my fat ass back to the aid station, as long as they get the job done.

And yet, and yet...

Intellectual support for revoking DADT is one thing. Emotional reaction is another. The best example I can give of my visceral reaction is that of mixed-sex showering. How is gays and straights showering together different from men and women showering together? I respect and appreciate women. I can control my impulses and (non-automatic) reactions towards them, and trust that they can do the same towards me. (No, I don't think I'm God's gift to women, and I'm not concerned about being attacked in the shower by females who can't control themselves once they behold me in all my naked splendor. I'm more worried about them being able to control their gag reflexes.) I also think that most gays can control themselves when showering with straights.

The point I'm trying to make here is that there is a certain amount of uncomfortableness involved in performing bodily ablutions with individuals of a different sexual orientation. It's like my feelings towards snakes. I understand and respect their ecological role. I don't mind being around them under certain conditions. But there are other conditions where there is some unease (think Snakes on a Plane).

I've worked for and with gays - no problem. I've hung out with, socialized with, and partied with gays - again, no problem. So why the reluctance to overturn DADT? I honestly don't know.

I do know that I'm genuinely conflicted by DADT, and envy those who are so adamantly certain of their position, either pro or con.

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