New Beginnings

The new semester begins tomorrow. Despite knowing better, I am foolishly optimistic. Maybe this semester the students will be enthusiastic about learning. Maybe this semester they will come to class prepared. Maybe this semester will be different.

I think of this as a triumph of hope over experience. It is much like getting married for a second, or even third time (but that’s a subject for another day).

Actually, I would settle for fresh and creative excuses. I’m so burned out on dead grandmothers, swine flu, computer malfunctions (“the dog ate my flash drive”). I don’t dare tell them this, but if they come up with a story I haven’t heard before it’s good for at least a C.

One of my favorites, for sheer chutzpah, was the student who claimed he missed an exam because he was in jail for manslaughter. The idea was that if I didn’t accept the initial excuse, I was supposed to be intimidated by the thought that he was potentially violent. When I asked for documentation I got an obviously bogus email from jail.hotmail.com.

Sorry, dude, try again…