Why College Professors Drink

It could be due to the students.

"The rebel and onion armies showed grose negligence by having many of their battles right inside national parks, like Gettysburg."

It could be due to the professors.

A university professor suspected of leading a motorcycle gang and methamphetamine drug ring is wanted for arrest in California, authorities say.

Steve Kinzey, 43, believed to be the president of the local chapter of the Devils Diciples motorcycle club, has been the target of a 6-month narcotics and weapons trafficking investigation, sheriff's spokeswoman Jodi Miller said.

Kinzey has been an associate professor of kinesiology at California State University, San Bernardino for nearly 10 years. University president Albert K. Karnig said in a statement that the campus would assist in the investigation "to help assure that all the facts are accurate."

"If the allegations are indeed true, this is beyond disappointing," Karnig said.

What is also disappointing is that Kinzey and his fellow thugs can't even spell 'Disciples' correctly.

But more than likely it is due to the crap that we have to put up with from the administrators.

Here's an actual excerpt from our dean.

"...we will have a College Meeting to listen to and discuss progress reports from our three Curriculum Committees and our two Task Forces on their work this past spring and the work they will continue to do during September of this year. 

Following this meeting, each of these Committees/Task Forces will take into account comments from the faculty and continue their work.  The goal is that over the two weeks following this meeting, each Committee/Task Force will complete its work and write a Report of its work. 

All finalized Reports will be given to the Division Chairs who will then convene faculty meetings in each Division for the purposes of discussing the Reports and making any additional recommendations to be added to each Report.  Upon conclusion of these meetings, there will be two called College Faculty meetings in early-mid October for the purpose of discussing and approving all final changes to the work of these five Committees/Task Forces."

To give you some idea of what these meetings are like, we had a divisional meeting this week where we had to vote on something. Paper ballots were prepared in advance with the various choices on them, along with a few blank lines for write-in options. I swear to God we (well, not all of us, but the usual idiot suspects) spent 15 friggin' minutes 'discussing' (read: arguing and yelling) about whether to signify our choice by using a check mark, circling, underlining, or using an "X."

There was also a tangential discussion about whether or not we should cross out the options not selected, in addition to marking the selected one...

I spent 2 hours in that meeting and didn't say a single word, but by the end a vein in my neck was throbbing and my fists were uncontrollably clenching and unclenching.

Thank God I wasn't armed...