An Easterner had always dreamed of owning his own horse ranch, and finally made enough money to buy himself the spread of his dreams out west.
"So what did you name the ranch?" asked his best friend when he came to visit.
"We had a heck of a time," admitted the new cowboy, "Couldn't agree on anything. We finally settled on the Double R Lazy L Triple Horseshoe Bar-7 Lucky Diamond ABC XYZ Ranch.
"Wow!" his friend exclaimed, impressed. "So where are all the horses?"
"None of 'em survived the branding."
When the cowboy finished his drink and left the saloon, he found that his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without looking, and fired a shot into the ceiling.
"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?" he yelled forcefully.
No one answered.
"All right, I'm gonna have another drink, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I done in Texas! And I don't wanna have to do what I done in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly.
The cowboy, true to his word, had another drink and walked outside, to find that his horse had been returned to its post. He saddled up and prepared to ride out of town. The bartender followed the cowboy out of the bar.
"Say partner, before you go," the bartender asked nervously, "what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
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