How To Put A Smile On Your Face

I'm sick and tired/fed up/disgusted/insert your own term here with all the depressing media coverage concerning the government shutdown and the impending potential debt default. I've had it up to here (hand hovers near neck) with forecasts of gloom and doom unless the government starts spending and borrowing ever increasing and unfathomable amounts of money. I'm desperate for a little good news.

That's why I was so happy when I read this story.

Sex Better Than Money for Happiness

Good news for folks whose bedrooms have more activity than their bank accounts: Research shows that sex is better for your happiness than money.

Okay, that's not exactly earth-shaking news (although the earth may move...). Millions of teenage boys have discovered that for themselves over the years. But it is nice to have it confirmed by official scientific researchers.

The researchers went on to calculate just how much an active sex life is worth in terms of dollars; a happiness price tag, so to speak.

That's not to say that being financially poor but sexually active is the secret to a happy life. But despite common theory, more money doesn't get you more sex, say "happiness economics" researchers ... sex "enters so strongly (and) positively in happiness equations" that they estimate increasing intercourse from once a month to once a week is equivalent to the amount of happiness generated by getting an additional $50,000 in income for the average American.

Overall, the happiest folks are those getting the most sex...

If that's the case then we Americans must be the happiest people on the face of the earth. After all, the government is screwing us every single day.

God help us if the IRS ever finds out that Americans can generate more 'income' by having more sex. There'll be a new form (Form 1069?) that we'll have to fill out every year listing our sexual activities. Maybe even a new regulation requiring a minimum level of sex - kind of like obamacare.

On second thought, that story didn't cheer me as much as I thought...