Bergheim Follies

Sunday Funnies 2012.01.29

2012-01-29T06:00:00.017-06:00

What do you get when you cross obama's State of the Union address with an Italian cruise ship accident?

Of course, it wasn't his fault. It's our fault for being too dumb to understand what a great job he's doing.

Okay, okay, no more politics. Just cruise ship jokes.

* * * * * * * * * *

Q: How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships?
A: On the rocks

Q: What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships?
A: Leeks

Q: What do the Italian economy and the stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia have in common?
A: The bottom's dropped out of both.

RIP John H. Baker, Jr. - Medal of Honor Recipient

2012-01-28T06:28:00.017-06:00

From my generation...

* * * * * * * * * *

John F. Baker Jr., a retired Army master sergeant who was awarded the Medal of Honor during the Vietnam War for rescuing wounded soldiers from an ambush and leading a daring counterassault, has died at a hospital in Columbia, S.C.

On Nov. 5, 1966, Baker's unit was tasked with reinforcing a group of American soldiers pinned down near Dau Tieng, close to the Cambodian border.

As the U.S. soldiers advanced ... the jungle erupted in enemy fire. Camouflaged machine gun positions spit bullets that whizzed by Baker's head. Mortar rounds thumped the ground. Snipers in the trees picked off Americans hiding on the ground.

Baker ran toward the front with another soldier and helped destroy two enemy bunkers.

During the attack, the other soldier was mortally wounded. Baker killed four enemy snipers before carrying his comrade away from the ambush.

Returning to the battle, Baker was blown off his feet by an enemy grenade but recovered to make repeated trips through withering fire to evacuate wounded American soldiers...

As his Medal of Honor nomination was considered, Baker spent the rest of his tour as a “tunnel rat.” Armed with a flashlight and pistol, he explored the spider- and scorpion-infested subterranean network used by Viet Cong guerrillas.

Tunnel rats were either the ballsiest or the craziest - or both - soldiers I ever met. I've jumped out of perfectly good airplanes without a second thought, but there's no way on God's green earth you could get me to crawl around in those cramped, booby-trapped ~~graves~~ tunnels.

BTW - Baker was 5'2" tall and weighed 105 - an ideal physique for a tunnel rat.

Returning home in August 1967, Baker served as a drill instructor. One day, he was told he had an urgent phone call. It was President Lyndon B. Johnson on the line, inviting him to the White House to be awarded the Medal of Honor, the military's highest decoration for valor.

I was intimidated enough by my drill sergeant - a short, stocky, fireplug of a man who didn't talk or yell. He growled.

He had several rows of ribbons and awards, including a Purple Heart, a Bronze Star with V for Valor, and a Combat Infantry Badge. That's more than enough to impress a 19-year-old. But can you imagine a DI with the MOH? I would have been even more of a nervous wreck than I already was.

According to his citation, “Baker's selfless heroism, indomitable fighting spirit, and extraordinary gallantry were directly responsible for saving the lives of several of his comrades, and inflicting serious damage on the enemy.”

Joining Baker at the ceremony in the East Room was his company commander, then-Capt. Robert Foley, who also was awarded the Medal of Honor for bravery during the same battle that November day in 1966.

Foley, who retired from the Army as a lieutenant general in 2000, stood 6-foot-7 and played basketball at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point.

Johnson told Baker and Foley they reminded him of the cartoon characters Mutt and Jeff.

The mental image of Foley and Baker as Mutt and Jeff adds just the right, light touch to a sad yet inspiring story.

RIP John F. Baker Jr. - and thank you.

Thanks also to Robert Foley, and all who honorably served in those difficult times.

Friday Follies Happy Hour

2012-01-27T17:00:00.003-06:00

A blast from the past - Three Dog Night singing "Liar."

Dedicated to obama and his State of the Union address...

Cougars And Chargers And MILFs - Oh My!

2012-01-27T13:37:00.001-06:00

One Utah school district believes a cougar mascot would be insensitive to women.

The Canyons School District overrode the students top choice of a cougar mascot for their high school that is to be completed in 2013.

Would-be Corner Canyon High School students chose the Cougars as their mascot — a name principal Mary Bailey said carries an ugly connotation that is disrespectful to women.

In popular culture, the cougar is a sexually aggressive middle-aged woman who attracts younger men.

The school mascot will instead be "the Charger," which to me also connotes an aggressive woman prowling the mall in search of her prey.

Could it be that Ms. Bailey rejected the Cougar monicker because it hit too close to home? She is, after all, a middle-aged woman who works closely with younger men.

No word on what Ms Bailey thought of the students' second choice for a mascot nickname - MILF.

And in a somewhat related story we have a woman diddling herself in an MRI tube, all in the name of science.

Let me just get this out of the way upfront: I had an orgasm in a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scanner.

I participated in a study at Rutgers University where scientists measured the activity in my brain as I self-stimulated to an orgasm.

I wasn’t the first woman to participate in one of these studies - and I won’t be the last.

I just bet you won't be the last, darlin'. If they did a similar study for men there'd be a waiting list.

Time and time again, I’m asked how I managed to have an orgasm in an fMRI scanner. But that’s not the right question. The important question is why I had an orgasm in an fMRI scanner.

Actually, the important question is "Why not"?

(The answer is) ...to help further our understanding of orgasm and human sexuality. When I say I came for the science - I mean it.

Give her credit. She's got a sense of humor.

So let me get this straight (so do I!). She self-pleasures herself in an MRI and that's okay because its "for the science."

But when a guy tries the same thing in the front seat of his car in the YWCA parking lot he gets in all sorts of trouble...

MRI? No - Tube o' Pleasure

Putting Things Off

2012-01-27T06:01:00.000-06:00

Lots going on, both personally and professionally. I meant to have a post ready for this morning, but somehow didn't quite get around to it.

Maybe later...

Overheard At The Deer Lease

2012-01-26T17:54:00.004-06:00

"My biggest fear is that when I die my wife will sell my guns for what I told her they cost."

My Last Word On SOTU

2012-01-26T05:25:00.004-06:00

By now you're probably as tired of hearing about that abomination of Tuesday's State of the Union (SOTU) address as I am. But please indulge me one last time.

We could be politically correct and say that some of obama's SOTU statements were questionable or open to interpretation. But let's call a spade a spade (no racial slur intended). He flat out lied through his teeth from the beginning to the end of that wretched speech.

ABC News, of all things, rediscovered some lost shred of its journalistic responsibility and fact-checked a few of the liar-in-chief's claims. The detailed breakdown can be found here. However, since the centerpiece of obama's ~~SOTU~~ campaign speech revolved around ~~taxing~~ vilifying the ~~rich~~ successful, let's take a closer look at his pride and joy: the so-called Buffett Rule.

Fact Check: The Rich, Their Secretaries and Taxes

Treasury Secretary Geithner yesterday declined to answer a key question about the president’s proposed “Buffett Rule”: How many millionaires and billionaires pay lower tax rates than middle-income families?

Gee, I wonder why he might decline to answer. Could it be that the rich already pay their fair share and more? Naw...

The answer: not that many.

The nonpartisan Tax Policy Center has crunched the numbers and found that Warren Buffett and his secretary are the exception to the rule. For the most part, the wealthy pay a significantly higher percentage of their income in taxes than middle-income workers.

The key numbers: this year those earning over $1 million will pay, on average, 29.1 percent on federal taxes. Those earning between $50,000 and $75,000 will pay 15 percent.

So obama's much-heralded 30% tax rate for the rich will amount to less than a 1% increase. That'll go a long way towards reducing that pesky deficit

There were 236,883 taxpayers who earned more than $1 million in 2009. That’s less than two-tenths of one percent of all filers.

The Top 400 tax filers – the very richest Americans – do pay a lower rate of just 18.11 percent of their total income. Why? Many of them are hedge fund managers and people like Buffet — their income is pegged to how much their investment fund grows. For some reason, this income is counted as so-called “carried interest” (even though it is not interest at all; it’s more like a performance bonus) and is taxed at the lower 15 percent capital gains rate.

It’s a loophole for hedge managers, pure and simple. But while it may be an outrage that these uber-rich hedge fund managers pay such a low rate compared to the rest of us, there are just not many of them out there.

But the top 400 tax filers represent a tiny sliver – just .00028 percent of all filers. The vast majority of those earning over $1 million a year pay at a higher rate, which is why the average tax rate for this group, according to the Tax Foundation, is 29.1 percent of taxable income. And, yes, this number includes income taxes, payroll taxes and capital gains taxes.

Oops. There goes the argument for raising the capital gains tax rate.

The Top 400 tax filers – the very richest Americans – do pay a lower rate of just 18.11 percent of their total income. Why? Many of them are hedge fund managers and people like Buffet — their income is pegged how much their investment fund grows. For some reason, this income is counted as so-called “carried interest” (even though it is not interest at all; it’s more like a performance bonus) and is taxed at the lower 15 percent capital gains rate.

It’s a loophole for hedge managers, pure and simple. But while it may be an outrage that these uber-rich hedge fund managers pay such a low rate compared to the rest of us, there are just not many of them out there.

So do the right thing and fix the problem - revise/simplify the tax code. Diddling around with tax rates is treating the symptoms while ignoring the festering pus-filled cause of the infection.

But fixing complex problems won't get a politician reelected. From their standpoint it's better to run on a populist platform - Tax the Rich! - then do the job they were elected to do.

obama Declares War On Success

2012-01-25T11:54:00.001-06:00

I am not a millionaire - yet.

I am, however, bound and determined to keep working and applying myself to become successful, to be able to provide for my family and descendants, and to be able at some point to enjoy a few of the finer things in life.

In the eyes of comrade obama that makes me an enemy of the state.

In last night's State of the Union address obama declared war on success, calling for a 30% tax rate on people who make more than $1 million per year. It is crass political pandering and feel-good policy at its worst, with blatant disregard for the facts.

IRS tax rates already tax earned income over $380K at 35%, so obama's proposal is clearly aimed at income resulting from capital gains, which currently are taxed at 15%. However, that 15% is the second bite from the apple. Those dividends and capital gains have already been taxed at the corporate level.

Nobody seems to ask the question why dividends and capital gains are taxed at preferential rates. The simple answer is that they have already been taxed once, and their seeming tax breaks are applied to income being taxed a second time.

Dividends are paid out of after-tax corporate income that already has been taxed at rates as high as 35%. Capital gains are generated by income from investments, which come out of savings. The savings come from income that already has been taxed but not spent.

In other words, the corporation (hopefully) generates income, which is taxed at the corporate level. The individual invests in the corporation, using money that has already been taxed at the individual level.Any dividends or capital gains resulting from the corporation being successful (which, keep in mind, is not a given) are then taxed again. An example:

A millionaire rock star who squanders all his income on high living is taxed once. An entrepreneurially minded rap star who prudently sets aside some earnings and invests them in enterprises that make headphones or fashions, which create wealth and jobs, is taxed a second time on the dividends and capital gains that may eventually be generated.

So would someone please explain to me how taxing the investor and the entrepreneur will create jobs?

There's also the so-called 'risk premium' to consider. Investing in stocks or start-up firms carries risk. Prudent investors expect that, as risk goes up, so does their potential return. Remove that risk premium and capital will flow from the stock market to low-risk instruments such as municipal bonds (which, by the way, are tax-free).

Whatever they (the 1%) do, they won't stand still. Rich folks have the flexibility to rearrange their affairs, unlike working stiffs. So, they pick up stakes and move from high-tax states to low-tax domiciles. And they have accountants, lawyers and other advisers whose livelihood depends on helping their affluent clients keep what they have out of the clutches of the tax collector. That only stimulates income for those advisers instead of the economy at large.

The alternative is to scuttle the present abomination of a tax code and replace it with a broad, simple one that captures more income at lower rates and with fewer exclusions. That was not on the agenda of the State of Union, however.

That last point bears repeating. The simplest and most effective way to ensure 'fairness' in our tax system is to throw out all the special interest provisions, deductions, and exclusions that make the existing tax code unintelligible. The 2011 U.S. tax code is 72,536 pages long, and growing. Someone who has the wherewithal to hire a stable of accountants and tax attorneys is obviously going to find loopholes and deductions that are beyond the reach of the average taxpayer.

But "Revise the Tax Code" doesn't have the same political appeal as "Tax the Rich"...

SOTU - First Impressions

2012-01-25T05:50:00.003-06:00

SOTU Gag Me With A Spoon

2012-01-24T20:11:00.000-06:00

Oh my aching butt!

The opening shot on CBS showed Eric Holder, followed by a shot of a simpering Elena Kagan (or Sonia Sotamayor - all those overweight token liberal appointees look alike).

Then the talking head said something about Warren Buffet's secretary being a guest of Michelle. That's all I could take.

I sprained my thumb hitting the remote...

SOTU Prequel

2012-01-24T16:45:00.003-06:00

Tonight is something we've been looking forward to for a whole year. Yes, folks, it's time for obama's State of the Union (SOTU) address.

People are making predictions about what he will say, suggesting bingo games to make the speech more palatable, even serving up rules for a drinking game (massive quantities of booze are about the only way to get through this thing).

I don't want to be left out of the fun, but I also don't want to go along with the crowd. So here's a little different slant on how to get in the proper frame of mind for the crapstorm looming on the horizon.

Predictions:

- Obama will announce his plan for Social Security: "Take the security part out of it."

- After the speech a drunk will call the White House and tell the receptionist, "I'd like to become the next President of the United States."

       The receptionist says, "What are you, an idiot?"

       The drunk responds, "Why, is it required?"

Observations:

     - Isn't it interesting how most of the people who hate the rich buy lottery tickets?

- The Union is in a truly dismal state.

But with the president delivering his State of the Union speech to Congress Tuesday night, let’s pause here to take as hard look at the real state of America, by the numbers, using only cold, hard facts.

Entertainment:

This is a little dated, but still hilarious. It comes with two cautions: (1) NSFW; and (2) be careful when drinking beverages. You will spew.

So stock up on adult beverages, remove all breakable and throwable objects from reach, and watch as much of it as you can stand (for me, that'll be about 15 nanoseconds).

Then find a rerun of Law and Order...

Told You So

2012-01-24T09:13:00.000-06:00

Normally I don't like tooting my own horn, but in this case I feel justified (the "I told you so" portion is towards the end).

Warren Buffet’s Burlington Northern Santa Fe LLC will benefit greatly by Barack Obama’s decision to nix the Keystone Pipeline from Canada.

This is one of those times I wish I was wrong...

Sign Of The Apocolypse

2012-01-23T20:15:00.000-06:00

Yet another sign that the end of time is near. I stumbled across this on e-bay while looking for ... well, never mind. In any event, what I was looking for is nowhere near as weird as this (click to embiggen).

Yes, you can now bid on a 4-ounce bottle of water from Tom Cruise's swimming pool, water that not only Tom swam in, but also Katie Holmes and their daughter Suri. Along with the water, you get a photo of Tom and Katie swimming in the pool "as a certificate of authenticity."

For sale is a 4oz. bottle containing water taken from a pool in Miami Beach, Florida in which Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes swam in with daughter Suri on July 17, 2011. There is a very limited supply of this special water. The water has been refrigerated to ensure freshness and quality. The winning bidder will receive a 5x7 print of Tom swimming in the pool with Katie Holmes by his side as a certificate of authenticity. The bottle is hand painted and shows a cross to mimic the effect of a bottle of Holy Water. But this cross also bears four gold rays coming from behind, which can also be considered the symbol of Scientology. Additionally, you can consider the cross to represent the letter "t" as in Tom.

What, you ask, might one do with said H2O? The seller has a few suggestions.

Tom Cruise water can be used in rituals, potions, or perfumes. It can be dabbed behind the ears or on the wrists for good luck. You can place some of it around the hearth of your home or baptize your baby with it. The possibilities are endless!

The starting bid for a 4-oz bottle of Tom Cruise water is $20. I'd much rather pay $4 for a 12-oz bottle of Shiner...

FOD 2012.01.23

2012-01-23T06:12:00.000-06:00

The Keystone pipeline decision is just the latest in a long line of obama screw-ups that provide the justification for this poster (H/T Curmudgeonly & Skeptical).

Sunday Funnies 2012.01.22

2012-01-22T06:00:00.002-06:00

A weekend full of teen drama...

A country gets the politicians and teenagers it deserves. (God help us...)

You try your hardest to raise your teenagers with patience, honesty and good manners, but they still end up being like you.

It's A Question Of Character

2012-01-21T06:36:00.002-06:00

So just exactly how much do you value character and integrity in a person?

Let's assume you're hiring someone for a position in your organization. You've narrowed the field down to two candidates. Both are qualified, although in your subjective opinion one - Candidate Q - is somewhat more qualified than the other. However, Candidate Q has some personal characteristics that give you pause; infidelity, multiple marriages, association with questionable characters, involvement with questionable causes, etc.

The other candidate - Candidate C - has a better track record in terms of character (charitable activities and contributions, a stable marriage, that sort of thing), but is, again in your subjective opinion, somewhat less qualified than Candidate C.

Which one do you choose? Do you pick the best person for the job, or do you subscribe to the theory that 'If you cheat on your wife, you'll cheat on your business partner?'

Obviously this is a poorly-disguised parallel to the question facing republican voters in the primaries. Romney has a squeaky-clean background in terms of marital fidelity. He also has a long-term record of charitable and religious commitment, including regular tithing. Say what you will about his politics, but I can't find anything questionable in his character.

Newt, on the other hand, has what could at best be described as a shaky track record in terms of marriage. There are also questions surrounding some of his past business associations. And there is the infamous video of him and pelosi together, advocating for global warming. But he is arguably better qualified, at least from a conservative perspective, for the position.

Just to muddy the waters a little further, flash back to the late 1990's. When Bill Clinton's womanizing came to light plenty of conservatives were saying "Character matters." If that was true then, it should be true now.

I'm torn. Newt is more acceptable to me from a policy standpoint, and I think he'd flat out destroy obama in a debate. But I don't trust Newt. I think he's primarily interested in what's good for Newt.

On the other hand, IMO Romney is just more of the same that we've suffered through for the last couple of decades, both R and D. I don't see anything in his policies that excites me, but there's nothing there that I strongly oppose, either. I think he could hold his own in a debate with obama. And I think he is a person of character and integrity, which I believe counts for something.

So back to the original question. How much do you value character and integrity in a person?

For me, personally, the answer is "Quite a bit."

Syllabus Week

2012-01-20T06:29:00.005-06:00

Today marks the end of the first week of the new semester. Syllabus Week, as it is now known, is basically a week of light coursework and heavy partying. For you Navy types, think Fleet Week.

During Syllabus Week the professors basically go through the course format, expectations, and requirements. The more demanding profs might also toss in a very basic lecture of an introductory nature. Homework might be assigned, but is typically not due until the second week of the semester.

This has become so ingrained in the U.S. higher education system that Syllabus Week has it's own entry in the Urban Dictionary:

1. Party week.
2. The first week of classes, during which all time is wasted by reading through the syllabus.

Far be it from me to go all contrary to the expectations of America's youth. Plus, the ~~lying assholes~~ powers-that-be screwed me over on this semester's schedule. They promised me one thing, and then changed it at the very last minute, leaving me little time to prepare for the new semester and leaving no time for our tech support group to make the necessary changes to our online registration and course management systems.

I'm still so mad that steam is pouring out of my ears, no matter how many Shiners I've downed in a vain attempt to quench the raging fires of outrage and injustice. I'm also busy fighting the fires that resulted from this fiasco. I can deal with it, but the ones getting harmed by this flustercluck are the people we're supposed to be here to help - the students. This has caused more than one of them no little inconvenience in terms of class scheduling, child care, and work arrangements.

But the damn administrators don't care. They're all so busy covering their asses that they don't have time to do anything like their jobs. I was literally told by the dean of the business school that this last minute change was driven by one person who wasn't directly involved, but who was worried about what someone else might think about the original schedule.

Yes, that's right. Multiple faculty members were disrupted and many students were screwed because of what one person thought other people might think.

Words cannot express my disgust. I'm stopping now because the veins in my head have resumed throbbing, my field of vision is shrinking, and all I can think of is how nice it would be to apply a .45 ACP vasectomy to certain individuals...

Take Care Of Your Tools And They'll Take Care Of You

2012-01-19T05:26:00.018-06:00

The United States is blessed with the most capable navy ever to sail the seven seas. The backbone of today's navy is the aircraft carrier. These ships - and their crews - enable America to project our influence and might around the world.

But aircraft carriers are tremendously complex and expensive. In these challenging economic times there is pressure on the military to reduce costs, and the navy is not exempt. There is talk of reducing the number of carriers from 11 to 10.

... The Washington Times reports, citing unnamed sources, that the U.S. Navy may be trying to cut one of its 11 carriers to save money.

Congress has mandated by law that the Navy maintain 11 carriers. But the Pentagon is also under orders from the Obama administration to cut $488 billion from its budget within the next 10 years, Rowan Scarborough reports in the Times.

Cutting a carrier, along with the other forces that make up and support a carrier battle group, could save the Navy billions of dollars, according to the Times report.

While doing so would certainly save money, it would place more stress on the remaining carriers and crews. Deployment times would be lengthened. Repair and refit times would be reduced. Our ability to project force and influence events would be degraded.

More troubling, it would also make the carriers more valuable targets. And our potential competition is definitely taking steps to upgrade their anti-carrier capabilities.

The USS Gerald R. Ford was supposed to help secure another half century of American naval supremacy. The hulking aircraft carrier taking shape in a dry dock in Newport News, Va., is designed to carry a crew of 4,660 and a formidable arsenal of aircraft and weapons.

But an unforeseen problem cropped up between blueprint and expected delivery in 2015: China is building a new class of ballistic missiles designed to arc through the stratosphere and explode onto the deck of a U.S. carrier, killing sailors and crippling its flight deck.

China has also built up its submarine force, to the extent that a Chinese submarine surfaced in the middle of a U.S. carrier group.

When the U.S. Navy deploys a battle fleet on exercises, it takes the security of its aircraft carriers very seriously indeed.

At least a dozen warships provide a physical guard while the technical wizardry of the world's only military superpower offers an invisible shield to detect and deter any intruders.

That is the theory. Or, rather, was the theory.

American military chiefs have been left dumbstruck by an undetected Chinese submarine popping up at the heart of a recent Pacific exercise and close to the vast U.S.S. Kitty Hawk - a 1,000ft supercarrier with 4,500 personnel on board.

By the time it surfaced the 160ft Song Class diesel-electric attack submarine is understood to have sailed within viable range for launching torpedoes or missiles at the carrier.

According to senior NATO officials the incident caused consternation in the U.S. Navy.

That last line is a classic example of British understatement (the news account is from a U.K. paper).

Granted, the incident occurred a few years ago. I'm sure the Navy has strengthened its antisubmarine defenses since then. But I doubt if the Chinese have been standing still, either. Reducing the number of U.S. carriers would be putting our most valuable eggs into fewer baskets. I'm not convinced that's a smart idea.

Another concern: the raison d'être of aircraft carriers is, as the name implies, to carry aircraft where they are needed. But the effectiveness of a carrier is to a great deal dependent on the effectiveness of the planes it carries. It does no good to ferry aircraft to a distant locale only to watch them get shot out of the sky. That brings us to the military's new F-35C Joint Strike Fighter, a state-of-the-art warplane designed to replace several aging airframes.

The F-35C is intended to be both an air-to-ground strike aircraft and an air superiority fighter. I understand the arguments in favor of standardization - the twin sirens of efficiency and economy. But efficiency and economy is not the same as effectiveness. In striving for efficiency and economy, compromises must be made.

For example, the F-35C will replace the A-10 Warthog. The A-10 is arguably the best ground support airplane ever devised. It's basically an airplane built around a gun. It's hard to fathom how a jet plane can fly as low-and-slow, and deliver a stream of depleted uranium slugs at 4200 rounds per minute, as well as the Warthog.

Similarly, the F-35C is slated to replace the F/A-18 Hornet strike fighter and the STOVL (short take-off and vertical landing) Harrier. That's a lot of versatility to build into a single airframe. However, versatility in and of itself is not necessarily a good thing.

An illustration: I own a Swiss Army Knife. It's a handy, convenient little tool. But if I want to do some serious stabbing I'd much rather have a Ka-Bar in my hand. If I'm going to open multiple bottles of wine or beer, give me a traditional corkscrew or bottle-opener designed for that specific purpose.

Yes, having specialized tools for specific jobs is more expensive, and requires more managing, but like my dear old Daddy told me, "Use the right tool for the job." (Of course, that didn't stop me from using a screwdriver as a chisel a couple of times, but after botching the job I figured out the Old Man just might have a point.)

And to top things off, there are reports that there is a design problem with the F-35C that will prevent it from landing on carriers.

As for the F-35C, reports have begun circulating that the aircraft the military says is "the most affordable, lethal, supportable and survivable aircraft ever to be used by so many warfighters across the globe" won't be able to land on aircraft carriers, apparently because its tailhook is too short and is situated too close to its landing gear for the plane to properly grab the arresting cables that enable planes to land on aircraft carriers.

The report was first seen last week on the website aviationintel.com and was backed up by a report in London's Sunday Times that has been picked up by press across Britain.

Aviationintel.com reported that the design flaw is not fixable because there's just not enough space on the belly of the F-35C to move the tailhook back.

Let me make this perfectly clear. I am not an expert on either aircraft carriers or airplanes. But I do have, IMHO, a little bit of common sense. And unlike many of the weasels currently wasting oxygen in Washington D.C., I'd like to ensure that the United States maintains its military advantage over current and future enemies.

I don't think that reducing the number of our carriers and relying on a flying Swiss Army Knife will do so...

Back In Business

2012-01-19T00:01:00.014-06:00

The SOPA strike is over. Only time will tell if it had any effect, but early returns are encouraging. However, we're not out of the woods yet.

If you haven't already done so, please take a minute to contact your representative and senators. Here's what I sent to mine.

I am contacting you to voice my strong opposition to SOPA, and any other form of government meddling with the Internet.

The Internet, electronic commerce, and the underlying businesses have dramatically grown and prospered precisely because of minimal government interference and intrusion. The last thing we need, especially in these turbulent economic times, is more ill-conceived government regulation.

Please stop pandering to special interest groups. Let the free market flourish.

Feel free to cut-and-paste away...

ON STRIKE!!!

2012-01-18T00:01:00.003-06:00

This blog is on strike today to fight the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA).

Go here for more information.

Do you seriously want a coalition of sleazy politicians and even sleazier hollywood jerkoffs controlling what you can post and see on the Internet?

I didn't think so.

Let your congresscritter know how you feel. If enough of us do so they just might pay attention.

After all, that's how democracy is supposed to work...

Self-Defense Not Allowed Here

2012-01-17T06:14:00.005-06:00

I've published a few posts lately (here and here) chronicling how innocent victims of home invasions defended themselves using deadly force. In all three cases the victims had no choice, being outmuscled, outnumbered, outgunned, or all three, by their attackers. Thankfully, those incidents didn't take place in the People's Republic of Massachusetts.

If you defend your family and property from a knife-wielding druggie in Massachusetts, you’d better be prepared to also defend yourself from the justice system, too.

(Anthony) McKay is the young father who, seeing a local druggie breaking into his truck and stealing the tools he uses to pay the bills, confronted him, subdued him and held him for the police. When the police arrived, they found the bad guy had a knife, a billy club and — thanks to the unarmed McKay — a broken jaw.

What a bad ass! Most reasonable people would say "Good for McKay," bare-handedly defeating a thug armed with a knife and club. But we're not talking about reasonable people here. We're talking about the bozos who keep electing various ~~members of a wealthy elite arrogant liberal family~~ Kennedys to public office.

Instead of thanking McKay for helping get an armed criminal off the streets, Swampscott officials charged him with a felony.

Yes, you read that right. The good guy stops some criminal lowlife from breaking into his truck and stealing his property - and remember, the perp is armed and the 'victim' isn't - and the good guy gets booked for a felony.

As a Swampscott police spokesman said at the time, “We don’t urge anybody to fight back. We want them to call us.”

I literally cannot think of anything to say in response to such lunacy. I guess MA cops want you to roll over and expose your belly in a show of submission.

Thanks to pressure from readers of the Boston Herald and others, McKay will not be prosecuted. But the Essex County District Attorney’s office has made it clear that they are not supporting your right to self defense ... the Essex DA insists the decision to decline to prosecute the case does not mean they think the police were wrong in arresting McKay...

In other words, McKay is lucky that the media made an issue out of this outrageous prosecution. Otherwise he could have spent five years in prison instead of working and paying the bills for his three young children.

Who can possibly think this is the right way to run a state? Well, Martha Coakley once said, “In Massachusetts we try and discourage ... self-help.”

Martha Coakley is the Attorney General of Massachusetts. She also ran for the U.S. Senate in 2010 to fill the seat formerly held by the ~~drunk murdering rapist~~ Massachusetts icon Ted Kennedy. In a rare moment of sanity, MA voters actually elected the less liberal of two candidates - Scott Brown. Still, they elected the Coakley nincompoop to be the top law enforcement person in that state. Go figure.

If Essex DA Jon Blodgett had dropped the charges and acknowledged McKay had done nothing wrong, that would send the message to future crooks that the law is on the good guy’s side.

Instead, Blodgett refused take sides. He and his spokesman have also refused repeated requests to answer questions about this case. All of which leaves us wondering:

If I see someone breaking into my car or garage, or stealing my property right out of my yard, am I supposed to call the police and just watch them steal my stuff?

I put that question to three local attorneys and got three different answers:

Wendy Murphy told me, “The standard in Massachusetts is you cannot defend yourself unless you’re going to die.”

Joe Flaherty told me, “You have the right to confront them and stop them ... but you don’t have the right to use force.” When I asked what I could do under Massachusetts law, he said, “You could scream and yell at them.”

Yeah, that’ll work.

Meanwhile, former Governor’s Council candidate Bob Jubinville said, “If it’s me, I grab a baseball bat and head out. But if a client asked me what to do, I’d say ‘Call the cops and hope they show up fast.”

So, I asked him, if I’m a crime victim trying to protect my property in Massachusetts, is the state on my side?

“Absolutely not.”

Anthony McKay, you’re a lucky man.

And I'm a lucky man for living in the Great State of Texas, where the right to self-defense is not only tolerated, but celebrated.

But I can't help but wonder what on earth has happened to the home of Concord and Lexington, where the first shots were fired in our War of Independence.

Those original patriots must be spinning their graves...

Bonus FOD 2012.01.16

2012-01-16T14:39:00.022-06:00

Quite a record our little barry has compiled, eh...

FOD 2012.01.16

2012-01-16T05:55:00.001-06:00

We laugh to keep from crying...

Q: Why did Obama cross the road?

A: To get to the other 9 holes.

Q. What's the difference between Obama opponents and Obama supporters?

A. The first group works for a living while the second group votes for a living.

Have you heard about the new Obama Happy Meal for kids at McDonalds?

It comes with a promise that they'll get a toy someday.

Obama claims that he has a balanced budget plan.

It's exactly one half smoke and one half mirrors.

Michelle was talking about how considerate her husband is, often buying her surprise gifts for no reason. She went on to say that the presents weren't anything extravagant or expensive because Barack tends to be responsible when he's spending his own money.

A Welcome Trend Continued

2012-01-15T13:15:00.001-06:00

There were a couple of high-profile home invasions a week or so ago where the potential victims, armed with shotguns, fought back and wounded or killed the perpetrators. The same thing recently happened a lot closer to home.

A home invasion on the Northeast Side ended in a gunfight in which one suspect was killed and another was critically injured early Wednesday, police said. The homeowner also was wounded.

Andrew W. Wharmby, 27, told officers he heard banging on his front door about 4:40 a.m. He told officers he became suspicious and grabbed his shotgun as he walked to the door.

He then heard noise in his garage, and when he saw the two men walk into his house, he shot at both. At least one of them returned fire and shot him in the face.

Police found one of the suspects — believed to be in his late teens or 20s — dead in the garage. The other was flown to San Antonio Military Medical Center in critical condition with a gunshot wound to the chest.

Wharmby, the homeowner, was shot in the chin... He also was taken to (the hospital), and was listed in stable condition.

I just love a happy ending...

Sunday Funnies 2012.01.15

2012-01-15T06:37:00.006-06:00

The new semester starts tomorrow. New faces, same old students...

If College Students Wrote the Bible:

The Ten Commandments would actually be only five -- double-spaced and written in a large font.

Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, he would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.

At the end of last semester I handed out the final exam to one of my classes, then settled in behind my desk and waited for them to complete it. One student handed in his exam with a $100 bill attached to it and a note that read "A dollar per point."

I called him into my office the next day and gave him his graded exam back - with $56 change.

Irish Flooding

2012-01-14T22:50:00.000-06:00

To understand this post, go here and watch the video.

Thought For The Day

2012-01-14T05:51:00.003-06:00

The word "politics" is derived from the word "poly", meaning 'many', and the word "ticks", meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

Friday Follies Happy Hour

2012-01-13T17:00:00.004-06:00

Next week the Spring semester begins. As I trudge back to the mines, forlornly hoping that this semester I'll discover a diamond in the rough, I'll be singing along with Los Lobos as they perform the Heigh Ho song from Snow White.

The fact that it's in Spanish is fitting, given that I work in Deep South Texas...

Reacting Predictably and Emotionally

2012-01-13T06:12:00.006-06:00

Remember last week when the MSM was up in arms about the firebombing of a mosque in New York City? Typical headlines:

Firebomb attacks in New York targeting Muslims

New York mosque firebombed in ‘hate crime’ spree

New York leaders condemn mosque firebombing

In typical knee-jerk fashion, outraged liberals rose en masse to decry the 'hate crime' that reflected what they perceive as intolerance and persecution directed towards non-violent peace-loving followers of a 6th century pedophile.

The only problem is that the firebombing was the act of an individual with personal grievances against a cross-section of NYC establishments. He also is of Guyanese descent, further disappointing the leftists who were salivating at the thought of hanging the acts around the neck of a Tea Partier, NRA member, or other stereotypical right-wing extremist.

A man hurled crude firebombs at an Islamic cultural center in part because he wasn't allowed to use its bathrooms and targeted four other New York-area sites on New Year's Day because of personal grievances, a law enforcement official said Tuesday.

Police said that Ray Lazier Lengend, 40, of Guyanese descent, was arrested Tuesday after he was tracked through a stolen car with Virginia license plates believed to be at the scene of at least two of the attacks Sunday evening on a convenience store, three homes and the cultural center.

Lengend, who lives in Jamaica, had furiously vowed to take revenge following his shoplifting arrest last Tuesday.

“When they were pushing him out of the store, he said words to the effect of, ‘We’re going to get even, we’re going to get back at you,’” Police commissioner Ray Kelly said.

The 179th St. Deli was the first of four Queens targets hit by the fire fiend, who also is suspected of striking at an Islamic center, a Hindu temple inside a home and a Jamaica home.

Even after Lazier was arrested and the motive behind the bombings became clear, muslim leaders continued to play the 'persecuted religion' card.

A series of fires in New York City, including one (one, count 'em, one) at an Islamic community center on Long Island, has many in the Muslim community calling out for awareness of increased anti-Islamic bias crimes in the city and across the nation.

One out of four, with no islamic connection. Yet in the minds of some this is indicative of (alleged) increased anti-muslim crimes. GMAFB!

This is so reminiscent of the Arizona shooting of one year ago in which six people were killed and many more wounded, including U.S. representative Gabrielle Giffords. As you'll recall, there were immediate outcries that the shooting was caused by political incivility fomented by the Tea Party and its supporters.

Of course, as we learned later, the shooter was a deranged leftist named Jared Loughner with no ties to the Tea Party or any other conservative organization

Sadly, but unsurprisingly, the facts have failed to deter leftists and their spokescreatures like Debbie Wassername Schultz from continuing to blame the shooting on the Tea Party. One year after the shooting, in response to a question about the lack of civility in congress, she said:

"We need to make sure that we tone things down, particularly in light of the Tucson tragedy from a year ago ... I hesitate to place blame, but I have noticed it take a very precipitous turn towards edginess and a lack of civility with the growth of the Tea Party movement."

Here's a link to the video, if you can stomach it.

There's a reason they're called knee-jerk liberals (Definition: a person of strong liberal convictions who reacts predictably and emotionally to certain events).

Piss Off

2012-01-12T15:45:00.003-06:00

There's been quite a bit of sturm und drang over the recently posted video of U.S. Marines pissing on the bodies of dead ~~camel-fucking scum~~ taliban. Most of it, as you can imagine, has been a mixture of outrage and condemnation from such notable combat veterans and military experts as Leon Panetta and Hillary Clinton. Legitimate military personnel were also quick to condemn the act, although I suspect for different reasons.

Let me make this as clear as I can. I whole-heartedly agree with the sentiment underlying the Marines' actions. I understand the visceral feeling towards people who have quite likely killed and/or maimed your buddies, and are trying to do the same to you. But -- and this is a big but -- those Marines are supposed to be professionals. Their job is to dispatch the enemy as quickly and efficiently as possible. In other words, in a professional manner. What they did, however understandable, just provides propaganda and motivation for the other side.

"It is difficult to say what long-term impacts this might have, and I would hesitate to get into speculation, but obviously any sort of footage, any sort of activity of this kind ... are very much working against our cause..." said Brig. Gen. Carsten Jacobson, a NATO ISAF spokesman.

Imagine that you're an Afghan who is not necessarily on the taliban's side, but remains unsure about the American presence. Something like this just might be enough to tip the scale and send you over to the other side. At the very least it makes you more leery and suspicious of, and less likely to help, American forces. It just makes everyone else's job that much more difficult, as evidenced by the following.

A Taliban spokesman called the video "barbaric."

"And no religion that follows a holy text would accept such conduct. This inhuman act reveals their real face to the world," Taliban spokesman Qari Yousuf Ahmadi said via text message Thursday.

"Islam gives values and respect to every human being," regardless of which religion the individual follows, said Islamic scholar Mawlawi Enayatullah Baligh. "The value and respect is the same for an alive person and a dead body. Even the body of your enemy in the battleground is respectable in Islam."

Yeah, right. Tell it to the innocent women and children killed by suicide bombers, the innocent women and children raped, tortured, and maimed in the name of islamic 'honor.'

I utterly and categorically reject any blather claiming that islam 'values and respects every human being.' I would gladly piss on the bodies of dead islamist extremists.

But -- and here's that 'but' again -- I am no longer a professional member of the armed forces. That's the tragedy of this whole thing. Skilled and motivated U.S. Marines are about to be buried under a ton of shit because one of them was foolish enough to record and then post a video of what I suspect is a relatively mild and common after-action event.

Does anyone think things like this didn't happen in the Pacific Theater during WWII? The Korean War? Or Viet Nam?

Thank goodness they didn't have cell phones or pocket video cameras back then...

Whoever's Doing It Please Don't Stop

2012-01-12T06:26:00.005-06:00

A couple of months ago I posted something about the cybersecurity module I teach graduating IS (Information Systems) majors. In that module we talk about the importance of protecting critical infrastructure systems (power and water utilities, pipelines, telecommunications networks, etc.) from malware like viruses and worms. To keep the kids interested we examine how the Stuxnet worm disabled Iranian nuclear facilities.

To make it even more interesting, and to point out the value of 'human infrastructure' - scientists, engineers, technicians - I include the ongoing assassinations of Iranian nuclear scientists. I frame it like a James Bond movie (nowadays, I guess it should be Mission: Impossible). "Here's an impenetrable target. How can you render it useless without direct military action?"

The kids really get into it. It's one of the more popular modules of the course.

I guess now I'll have to update my notes. Another Iranian glow-in-the-dark mole got whacked yesterday.

An explosion on Wednesday killed Mostafa Ahmadi Roshan, a top official at the Natanz uranium enrichment plant, Iranian officials said.

He is the third man identified as a nuclear scientist to be killed in Iran in a mysterious explosion in the past two years. A fourth survived an assassination attempt.

In each case, someone placed a bomb under the scientist's car.

Iranian officials, on state-run media, blame Israel and the United States.

Of course they do. Who else but Zionists and the Great Satan would do such a thing?

Turns out there are Iranian dissidents who might be involved as well.

"The most likely contender among people who are following this is that the Israelis are doing it, possibly in cooperation with the Iranian mujahedin," said Trita Parsi, president of the National Iranian-American Council and author of the book "A Single Roll of the Dice: Obama's Diplomacy with Iran."

"There's almost no downside for Israel," he said. The killings "take out nuclear assets and embarrass Iran" by showing that the regime can't prevent such attacks, Parsi said. And "if Iran retaliates with a violent act, then Israel can point to it as a reason to take military action against the regime."

Gotta give the Israelis credit. They're masters at this sort of thing.

Mid-east experts doubt that the U.S. is involved, with one going so far as to say "Frankly, I don't think the United States has the human intelligence knowledge..."

Sadly, I agree with him. I also don't think the obama administration has either the brains or the cojones to pull off something like this.

The killings of Iranian scientists have come up on the campaign trail in the United States among contenders for the Republican presidential nomination. Newt Gingrich, at a debate in November, expressed support for the idea of "taking out their scientists." Rick Santorum, at an event in October, referred to the scientists turning up dead as "a wonderful thing."

I might not agree with Santorum on every political and social issue, but I'm with him 100% on this one.

So who's killing Iranian nuclear scientists?

I don't know and I don't care, but whoever it is, I hope they don't stop...

True Love

2012-01-11T11:15:00.000-06:00

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.

He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, 'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!'

His wife responds, 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong. I love you, too.'

What First Amendment?

2012-01-11T06:15:00.019-06:00

One of the bloggers I follow* is not fond of obama, and is not shy about saying so. I don't think he's crossed any lines in exercising his God-given First Amendment right of free speech ("dissent is the highest form of patriotism"), but the jack-booted thugs masquerading as DHS officials may have a different opinion.

In the past they would have dismissed his posts as the alcohol-fueled rantings of a deranged right-wing extremist hater (translation: freedom-loving conservative), but under a new DHS program they are probably scurrying around busily compiling a dossier on this fine upstanding patriot.

Freedom of speech might allow journalists to get away with a lot in America, but the Department of Homeland Security is on the ready to make sure that the government is keeping dibs on who is saying what.

Specifically, the DHS announced the (National Operations Center) (NOC) and its Office of Operations Coordination and Planning (OPS) can collect personal information from news anchors, journalists, reporters or anyone who may use “traditional and/or social media... ”

"Social media" includes blogs, Facebook, and Twitter. They'll probably expand the definition to include texting, Instant messaging, and passing notes in class.

According to the Department of Homeland Security’s own definition of personal identifiable information, or PII, such data could consist of any intellect “that permits the identity of an individual to be directly or indirectly inferred, including any information which is linked or linkable to that individual.”

So much for anonymous sources. If this was around in the Watergate days Deep Throat never would have come forward, Richard Nixon would have served his full term, Gerald Ford never would have been president, and Jimmy Carter quite likely never would have been elected, which led to the subsequent election of Ronald Reagan.

Ain't alternative history fun?

...the new provisions in the NOC’s write-up means that any reporter, whether someone along the lines of Walter Cronkite or a budding blogger, can be victimized by the agency.

The department says that they will only scour publically-made info available while retaining data, but it doesn’t help but raise suspicion as to why the government is going out of their way to spend time, money and resources on watching over those that helped bring news to the masses.

Perhaps because the blogosphere has become a viable alternative to the propaganda arm of the dems/libs - aka the mainstream media.

The website Fast Company reports that the intel collected by the Department of Homeland Security under the NOC Monitoring Initiative has been happening since as early as 2010 and the data is being shared with both private sector businesses and international third parties.

WTF? Private businesses and international parties? Yet another example of why I love my country but really, truly, fear and detest the government.

(H/T Jammie Wearing Fools for the link, and also for pointing out that "This program began in 2010, so Bush can’t be blamed.")

*Dedicated to AB (initials have been changed to protect the innocent ... hell, I can't type that last line without laughing).

A Learning Experience

2012-01-10T06:30:00.001-06:00

In spite of my earlier bitching about public school systems, I'm pretty happy with the one our kids attend. One of the reasons is that the school district provides them ample opportunities to learn outside the classroom. For instance, they have an outdoor academy where the students go off to a rustic camp for most of a week. There's no central air or heat, no TV or internet, they sleep in cabins, and spend the days fishing, taking nature hikes, and learning skills like orienteering.

The outdoor academy takes place during the regular school year. It's primarily for elementary and middle school students. Selected high school students get to go as instructors and counselors, under the supervision of teachers and parents (the kids handle the isolation better than some of the parents, who freak out when they discover that their cell phones don't have reception). It's a plum assignment for the high schoolers who get picked.

We just found out that this spring our 17-year-old son is one of the chosen few. He's thrilled, and we're thrilled for him. But (there's always a 'but,' isn't there) one of the requirements is that he take a course this semester in Child Development. Here's an excerpt:

In order to provide a realistic idea of the demands of parenting, you will be participating in a parenting simulation project. This involves caring for a lifelike, electronic parenting mannequin baby overnight (4:00 p.m. - 8:15 a.m.).

The baby mannequin cries, coos, burps, and needs its diaper changed periodically throughout the day and night. It will be your responsibility to provide proper care as if this were a real baby. The baby should be with you at all times.

(Side note: the technology involved in this thing is fascinating. Check out the link for more info.)

I'm not sure how caring for an artificial baby prepares one to ride herd on a bunch of first graders, but I doubt if the experience will do any lasting harm. I am curious to see if he wakes up in the middle of the night when the baby frankenstein needs changing - the boy could sleep through an earthquake.

He had to take a similar course back in middle school (don't ask). He was given a 10-pound bag of flour that he had to treat like a baby; name it (Walter - again, don't ask), draw a face on it, dress it up, diaper it and change it regularly, take it everywhere with him for a week, and so forth. He got through that ordeal okay, then used Walter as a pellet-gun target. I'm not sure what that bodes for his flesh-and-blood offspring when they come along, but I don't think it's anything good ("I told you to pick up your toys." ... Poof! ... OUCH!!!)

With any luck the combination of Walter and this new electronic version will make him more cognizant of the risks associated with unprotected sex. Getting woken up at 3:00 in the morning by your 'child' will drive that point home more effectively than any number of parental lectures.

FOD 2012.01.09

2012-01-09T06:13:00.011-06:00

I don't know who is going to emerge from the flustercluck that is the republican nominating process, but whoever it is should include the following two graphics in every ad and piece of campaign literature. The point is to run against obama's miserable record of colossal failure and incompetence, not against other republicans.

And if whoever the nominee is really wants to drive the point home, he can add the one below.

Choke On This, Jerry

2012-01-08T13:27:00.000-06:00

Roland Martin is a political commentator who usually leans to the left. I don't often agree with him, but IMO he is spot on with this one.

Football power in Texas has shifted to Houston

I hate the Dallas Cowboys.

No, I don't dislike them. I flat out cannot stand anything about the Dallas Cowboys.

That's why I take great pleasure in seeing the transfer of power in the Lone Star State, where the football greatness has moved from Dallas to Houston.

For decades, all of the talk has been about the Cowboys, that damn star, and lately, the monstrosity of a football palace built by owner Jerry Jones. But with the NFL playoffs kicking off this weekend, the only football they'll witness at Cowboys Stadium is Kansas State and Arkansas in the Cotton Bowl.

But 250 miles south of Dallas, the Houston Texans will take on the Cincinnati Bengals in the AFC wild card game.

For Cowboys fans, it's over. No longer can you talk supremacy over Houston. The expansion Texans is the talk of the state, and all the Cowboys fans can do is complain about Tony Romo and Jerry Jones.

And they might as well get used to it. The Cowboys are truly a has-been team. Those five Lombardi trophies? Well, you better keep watching NFL Films. That will be the only way to see Dallas raise that again.

Amen to that last one - at least as long as Jerry Jones runs things.

JJ may be an astute businessman, but he's worse than terrible as a NFL general manager. He is the NFL equivalent of obama, insofar as on-the-field success goes. He surrounds himself with boot-licking yes-men. His opinion of himself is much greater than the reality. He took over an entity that was once the envy of its kind, but under his stewardship has become a shadow of its former self and a laughing-stock.

The bad news for Cowboy fans is that they can't vote the buffoon out of office...

(H/T The Whited Sepulchre for the image.)

Sunday Funnies 2012.01.08

2012-01-08T06:00:00.003-06:00

Today's theme is Adam and Eve. New year ... new beginning ... genesis ... get it?

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.

He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, who he found hanging around under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability."

Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool I could write my name in the sand. Oh, please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please."

On and on he went like an excited little boy who had to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly he could have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, and she really wouldn't mind if Adam was the one given this ability.

And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his urination while in a vertical position. And lo, he was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while. And it was good.

"Fine", God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts. "What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms."

One day the Lord came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news" said the Lord.

Adam looked at the Lord and said, "Well, give me the good news first."

Smiling, the Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called the brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent coversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is a called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your own lifeform and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."

Adam, very excited, exclaimed "these are great gifts you have given me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"

The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "the bad news is that when I created you I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."

ABO

2012-01-07T09:54:00.001-06:00

ABO = Anybody But Obama.

There's been a lot of commentary about Romney's landslide win in Iowa ("landslide" is defined as an 8 vote margin of victory) and what it all means. McCain's subsequent endorsement of Romney prompted considerable gnashing of teeth among the more conservative members of the GOP.

The combined result has been mutterings that Romney is just another political hack forced down our throats by the republican establishment, and that there is little difference between him and obama. Both are political insiders; both are pro-big government; neither will take the hard steps necessary to eliminate budget deficits and bring the federal regulatory apparatus under control. Some have even said they will sit out the election, or vote for a third party candidate, rather than vote for Romney if he wins the nomination.

My response to those who feel that way is two words: judicial appointments. The President of the United States appoints federal judges not just at the Supreme Court level, but also at the circuit court (aka the courts of appeals) and the district court levels. These appointments are for life. This gives a president an enormous opportunity to leave his stamp on this country for decades, or even longer. (The president also appoints 'specialty' judges, such as bankruptcy and tax court judges, but these are appointed for a specific term, not for life.)

The two most obvious examples of obama's record in this matter are his selections for the Supreme Court: Sonia Sotomayor, the so-called 'wise latina;' and Elena Kagan, obama's former Solicitor General.

(Side note: as Solicitor General, Kagan ruled that obamacare was constitutional. Now she's sitting on the Supreme Court that is scheduled to hear arguments challenging that ruling. Think she'll be objective...?)

Say what you will about Romney, but IMO his choices for federal judgeships would be infinitely preferable to obama's (Chief Justice Eric Holder, anyone?).

So those of you who are thinking about not voting, or casting a protest vote for a third party candidate, please reconsider. Romney may not be your first choice, or even second, or third, or ... but he's better than that SCOAMF currently ruining this country. We simply cannot survive another four years with obama in power.

Repeat after me ... ABO ... ABO ... ABO ...

Rules For Conquering The Gym

2012-01-07T06:17:00.005-06:00

Jason Gay of the Wall Street Journal has some advice for people whose New Year's resolution is to lose weight. Jason set forth 27 rules for conquering the gym, but as a service to my busy readers I'm only reporting the Top 10. If you want to know the rest you'll have to visit the link.

1. A gym is not designed to make you feel instantly better about yourself. If a gym wanted to make you feel instantly better about yourself, it would be a bar.

2. Give yourself a goal. Maybe you want to lose 10 pounds. Maybe you want to quarterback the ~~New York Jets~~ Dallas Cowboys into the playoffs. But be warned: Losing 10 pounds is hard.

12. Nope, that's not a "recovery energy bar with antioxidant dark chocolate." That's a chocolate bar.

15. If you're motivated to buy an expensive home exercise machine, consider a "wooden coat rack." It costs $40, uses no electricity and does the exact same thing.

17. If you see an indoor rock climbing wall, you're either in a really cool gym or a romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson.

19. If a gym class is going to be effective, it's hard. If you're relaxed and enjoying yourself, you're at brunch.

22. Fancy gyms can be seductive, but once you get past the modern couches and fresh flowers and the water with lemon slices, you're basically paying for a boutique hotel with B.O.

25. Fact: Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories.

26. A successful gym membership is like a marriage: If it's good, you show up committed and ready for hard work. If it's not good, you show up in sweatpants and watch a lot of bad TV.

27. There is no secret. Exercise and lay off the fries.

Jason overlooked my personal favorite:

Rehydrating with Shiners defeats the purpose of going to the gym in the first place.

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2012.01.06

2012-01-06T17:55:00.000-06:00

I've got a physical coming up next week. I don't know why I bother going. I know what the doctor is going to say.

"If you dig it, don't do it
And if you like it, better leave it alone"

Sigh...

Quick Hits

2012-01-06T12:34:00.000-06:00

Random quotes from the Friday Jan. 6 issue of the San Antonio Express-News.

"I understand a rich man from the Philippines wants to buy the Dallas Cowboys. He'll change the name to the Manilla Folders."
-- David Plylar, letter to the editor

"Romney remains the electable one, Santorum the acceptable one; then there's Ron Quixote."
-- Micheal Gerson, columnist

"So Mitt Romney 'won' Iowa by eight votes ... What happened to Rick Santorum's surge? Did a Dodge Caravan full of supporters break down on the way (to vote)?
-- Froma Harrop, columnist

A Welcome Trend

2012-01-06T06:14:00.004-06:00

It's a little early to declare two recent events a trend, but one can hope.

A couple of days ago a teen mom shot one of two men who broke into her house and threatened her and her new-born daughter.

The incident described below happened two days prior to that one, but authorities didn't release any information until yesterday.

Police in North Carolina revealed a 14-year-old boy shot dead an intruder attempting to break into his home while he and his sister were alone.

... police said the 14-year-old and his sister were at home in the rural town of Henderson when four men tried to break into the house.

The teen opened fire with a shotgun while his 17-year-old sister hid in a closet as a gang of men attempted to smash their way into their home.

Michael Anthony Henderson Jr, 19, was shot dead.

He staggered away from the house and collapsed where he was found by police.

His brother Seneca, 20, and one other man Andrew Terry, 23, have already been charged in the case.

Police are still searching for a third man named as 21-year-old Jatwaun Davis.

Vermin that tried to invade the North Carolina home.

In the call, the teen, says: 'I just shot the man. He came around the corner. I shot him. He broke the whole glass out (of the back door).'

He continues: '... I got one more in the chamber. I'm going to shoot again,' the boy said.

Police said the teen will not face any charges...

He damn well shouldn't face charges. If anything, he should get a medal for protecting his sister. (I especially liked the part where he said " I got one more in the chamber. I'm going to shoot again.")

Both cases have two things in common. One, the people defending themselves were not just outnumbered, but at a physical disadvantage; a young woman, and a 14-year-old boy vs. grown men. Two, in both cases the weapon used was a shotgun.

A shotgun is a great weapon for home defense. It requires less fine motor skills to operate and aim than a handgun, something to keep in mind as adrenalin surges through the system. If loaded with shot rather than slugs, it is also less likely to penetrate interior walls and threaten other family members.

Plus it's just so damn intimidating...

Hopefully these recent events will give pause to the scum who prey on the (supposedly) weak and helpless, but somehow I doubt it. But at least we taxpayers won't have to foot the bills for an endless series of trials and appeals, followed by room and board (and cable TV and exercise facilities and all the other benefits that criminals shouldn't be allowed).

Do You Really Get What You Pay For? Update

2012-01-05T16:19:00.001-06:00

In my earlier post I left out one additional step to take to improve our public education system: parental involvement.

Kenya Parents Attack Teachers Over Exams Results

The chairman of the Kenyan teachers' union says angry parents are attacking teachers nationwide after their children's dismal performance in a national exam.

Okay, physically attacking teachers might be a little extreme, but the underlying concept is valid. Institute some form of individual accountability to hold teachers and administrators responsible for student performance.

And while we're at it, let's hold the little darlings and their parents responsible as well. After all, there's enough blame for this mess to go around...

Do You Really Get What You Pay For? - Part II

2012-01-05T06:17:00.004-06:00

Yesterday we commented on some of the causes and effects of the disaster our public school systems have become. Today we'll extend that thought into the higher education arena. First, some figures to support the argument that public schools are graduating students who are unprepared for college.

Three out of four graduates aren’t fully prepared for college and likely need to take at least one remedial class, according to the latest annual survey from the nonprofit testing organization ACT, which measured half of the nation’s high school seniors in English, math, reading and science proficiency.

Only 25 percent cleared all of ACT’s college preparedness benchmarks, while 75 percent likely will spend part of their freshman year brushing up on high-school-level course work... Students are most likely to need remedial classes in science and math.

Even more damning, "...80 percent of college students taking remedial classes had a high school GPA of 3.0 or better."

Take it from one who has to teach classes full of unprepared students - students who can't write a simple complete sentence, much less a full paragraph; students who have little to no grasp of basic grammar; students who can't solve elementary math problems - it is beyond frustrating. I can handle the frustration. But can we as a society handle the more serious consequences?

And what are some of those consequences?

If I as the professor dumb down the class to accommodate those less prepared, the better prepared students feel like they're just repeating high school. They get bored, distant, and develop bad study habits. Even worse, they are being held back from reaching their full potential.

(Side note: state universities receive government funds based on a complex formula that in large part is based on admission, retention, and graduation rates. If reasonable standards are enforced, less prepared students aren't admitted or later drop out, decreasing the government funds funneled to that particular school.)

Taxpayers, of course, also suffer. They are in essence paying twice for students to learn: once in high school, a second time in remedial college classes.

And of course taking remedial courses means the students themselves take longer, and pay more, to graduate.

Which leads to another problem: mounting student loans, and a so-called 'higher education bubble.'

It’s officially a crisis. Student loan debt has hit the $1 trillion mark, exceeding Americans’ total credit card indebtedness.

The real problem is that we’ve been running a higher education bubble, one that -- like the real-estate bubble -- has been pumped up by cheap government money. Since 1999, student loan debt has increased by 511%, while disposable income has increased by only 73%.

That’s because when the government subsidizes something, producers respond by raising prices to soak up as much of the subsidy as they can. College is no exception. Tuition has been increasing much faster than disposable income, and families -- believing that a college education is a can’t-lose investment, much as they used to think houses were -- have been making up the difference with debt. After all, we’re told, student loan debt is “good debt,” because a college degree guarantees more earnings.

The problem is, “college” isn’t an undifferentiated product. Companies can’t hire enough mechanical engineers, but there’s no bidding war for majors in Fine Arts or Women’s Studies, degrees that cost just as much, but deliver a lot less in terms of employment. In an economically rational market, it would be harder to borrow money to finance fields of study that were unlikely to produce enough income to pay back the loans. But since the federal government subsidizes everything ... there’s no incentive for lenders to care, and even less incentive for colleges and universities to care. They get their money up front, after all -- just like the people who wrote the subprime loans that fueled the housing crisis.

So what's the solution? Well, like most complex problems, there is no simple solution. But there are a few simple steps to take that would put us on the road to a solution. The steps are not exciting or glamorous. Nor are they easy. But nothing worthwhile is.

First, improve how we measure and reward (or punish) the job public schools do in preparing their students. Standardized tests have their place, but they are limited. Other, less objective measures also have a role. The trick is determining how to blend the two in assessing student preparedness. One way might be to increase or decrease funding to K-12 school districts based on the number of remedial courses their students have to take in college.

A second step would be to reemphasize the value of vocational education. It is not feasible, or even desirable, for every student to go to college. There are plenty of available, good-paying entry level jobs in the trades that do not require a college degree. We need to send a strong message to high-school students that there is value and honor in vocational careers.

Third, reduce the cost of a college education. It's absurd that kids are graduating from college with six-figure debts that they have no chance of repaying. Insisting that students meet reasonable standards before they are admitted (I've worked at universities where the only admission requirement was a high school diploma) would be a start. Eliminating unnecessary and 'feel good' programs would also help. (The university I'm currently at has an administrative department for freshman success, and another one for sophomore success. Presumably juniors and seniors can succeed on their own.) Furthermore, tenure reform is long overdue (I could write a book on the disadvantages and abuses of the tenure system).

There's lots more that can be done, and lots of detail work involved in these three steps that goes way beyond the bare bones put forth here, but we need to get started ASAP.

Not acting just means we'll get more of the same. More unprepared students, more unaffordable college education, and more failure on a broad front. Let's stop kicking the can down the road and fix the problem now.

In other words, let's not be like congress...

The Great Equalizer

2012-01-04T11:02:00.001-06:00

As the old saying goes, "God created man, but Sam Colt made them equal." That old saying applies to women as well.

A young Oklahoma mother shot and killed an intruder to protect her 3-month-old baby on New Year's Eve, less than a week after the baby's father died of cancer.

Two men armed with knives tried to break into Sarah McKinley's home on New Year's Eve. Ms. McKinley called 911, then grabbed her 12-gauge shotgun and a pistol.

"I've got two guns in my hand -- is it okay to shoot him if he comes in this door?" the young mother asked the 911 dispatcher.

"I can't tell you that you can do that but you do what you have to do to protect your baby," the dispatcher told her. McKinley was on the phone with 911 for a total of 21 minutes.

When seconds count the police are minutes away.

When Martin kicked in the door and came after her with the knife, the teen mom shot and killed the 24-year-old. Police are calling the shooting justified.

"You're allowed to shoot an unauthorized person that is in your home. The law provides you the remedy, and sanctions the use of deadly force," Det. Dan Huff of the Blanchard police said.

McKinley said that she was at home alone with her newborn that night because her husband just died of cancer on Christmas Day.

"I wouldn't have done it, but it was my son," McKinley told ABC News Oklahoma City affiliate KOCO. "It's not an easy decision to make, but it was either going to be him or my son. And it wasn't going to be my son. There's nothing more dangerous than a woman with a child."

Except maybe an armed woman with a child.

It's too much to hope that the anti-gun nuts will learn anything from this. Without those weapons, an 18-year-old woman is no match for two men with knives. If this took place in California, New York, or any other place with restrictive gun controls, this story would have had a much different ending. And no one in the media would be lamenting "If only she were armed."

All snark aside, what a terrible holiday season for that young lady. I hope and pray that she and her child find peace and happiness for the rest of their holidays.

Do You Really Get What You Pay For?

2012-01-04T06:17:00.014-06:00

As my regular readers (thanks, Mom and Dad) know, I believe that our public school systems are doing society a huge disservice by graduating students who are not prepared for either college or employment. While I could, if I had the time and inclination, provide a formal literature review documenting this failure, let me instead offer two arguments in support of my point.

The first is a chart that compares public school expenditures per student with test scores over time. It quickly becomes shockingly obvious that we are spending more - much, much more - and not gaining any improvement.

What's driving the growth in expenditures? IMO two things. First, teachers unions. Unions in general must force employers to pay above market wages. Otherwise there is no justification for the existence of the union. Unions also protect their own, at the expense of quality. Union contracts specify that teachers are laid off on the basis of seniority, not merit (or lack thereof). Thus we have situation like the ones in Milwaukee, Houston, Las Vegas, and Parsippany (NJ), where Teachers of the Year were laid off in 2011 in place of some ~~old fossil~~ longer tenured union member.

The second factor in growing school expenditures is the increasing emphasis on special programs and non-core subjects, driven by special interest groups. As these special programs grow, so also does the need for non-classroom staff to administer and monitor them. Case in point: New York state.

In New York, the number of administrators grew from 31,000 in 1997 to 42,000 in 2011 – a 33% increase. During that same time the number of teachers increased by 10%. Meanwhile, the number of students dropped by 5%.

It's not just the number of administrators, it's also their bloated salaries. One-third of NY school superintendents earn over $175,000 per year.

As a result, overall public-school expenditures more than doubled, from $26 billion to $58 billion statewide.

It wouldn't be so bad if the taxpayers received value for their dollar, but that hasn't been the case in New York. The state's graduation rate has hovered between 65 - 70%, ranking it around 40th in the country. More money spent, no improvement - a situation that is mirrored at the national level, as seen in the above chart.

A specific example of special interest-driven public school agendas is a new 2012 California law that requires California students to receive mandatory classroom instruction about the contributions of gays and lesbians to the development of the United States. I have nothing against gays or lesbians, and I don't deny they have contributed to this country's development. But by placing emphasis on every single group (gays, lesbians, blacks, Hispanics, left-handed redheads, etc.) we are losing sight of the forest for the trees. And by fragmenting learning into an endless series of lectures on diversity we are most definitely not preparing students to succeed in college and beyond. Does anyone really think that injecting gays and lesbians into history classes will increase test scores?

The second segment of my argument that public school systems are failing us is grounded in the now-global nature of the workforce. Multinational employers are increasingly turning their backs on American workers not because of wage scale differential (although that does play a role), but because of a quality differential. Earlier this year the President’s Council on Jobs and Competitiveness invited the heads of foreign companies that invest in the United States to discuss why they don't hire more U.S. workers.

“The issue that we have is finding skilled workers,” said Christian Turnig from ThyssenKrupp, a German company.

According to Turnig, his company had to send hundreds of employees from its new plant in Alabama to Germany for several months of training.

Martin Daum, the head of Daimler Trucks North America, told the gathering that he felt he had better skilled workers at his plants in Mexico than in the United States, where some workers have to be taught proper math and writing skills.

... According to Daum, the better skill sets of Mexican workers makes it easier to ramp up production at his company’s factories in Mexico than those in the United States.

“We have to bring in educators,” he said.

Peter Solmssen of Siemens said “it’s a skills issue. We’re having to train them ourselves.”

Unprepared public school graduates. Unions that protect the administrators and teachers responsible for the graduates' lack pf preparedness. Special interest groups that get in the way.

And it gets worse. More unintended consequences tomorrow...

Corruptisima Republica Plurimae Leges

2012-01-03T06:10:00.007-06:00

As David Martosko notes, translated from the Latin, the title of this post means ”The more corrupt the state, the more plentiful its laws." (H/T to Curmudgeonly & Skeptical for the link)

Laws are like technology. Over time, they become one of two things: indispensable or obsolete. It’s beyond me why most state and federal laws don’t have 15- or 20-year sunset clauses, so we could periodically dispense with the obsolete ones like so many floppy disc drives and 8-track tape decks.

For the record, Texas has a Sunset Commission that does just that, albeit on a limited basis. Still, it's a start. Now if we could just elect congresscritters with enough common sense and backbone to implement a similar panel on a national level we might have a fighting chance. Better yet, pass legislation stating that all laws passed by congress expire in three years unless they are specifically and individually extended.

In 1925 it would have taken you 12 days to read all the United States’ federal laws and regulations if you plowed through about 200 pages per day. Today that same task would take you three years.

obamacare and the Dodd-Frank bill alone account for 5000 of the new pages.

That's just at the federal level. At the state level there are approximately 40,000 new laws. Most of them are unnecessary, of course, but since when did that ever stop politicians from passing something to make some potential campaign contributor or voter happy. For example, one of California's new state laws prohibits the awarding of goldfish as a carnival prize. I'm sure goldfish and goldfish lovers across the state are sleeping easier tonight.

Of course, with all those new laws and regulations there's plenty of room for conflict and overlap. Case in point:

New environmental regulations, coming amid warnings that Texas might not meet its electricity needs next summer, could set up a legal dilemma for regulators, grid operators and generators.

The Environmental Protection Agency's Cross-State Air Pollution Rule, which takes effect Sunday, requires plants in 28 states including Texas to cut smog- and soot-forming emissions that cross state lines.

... power plant operators and their political supporters say the rule will force shutdowns of power plants needed to keep U.S. grid capacity safely above demand.

Here in Texas, at least one utility - Dallas based Luminant Generation Co. - will shut down two coal-fired generating units to comply with the EPA rule. Other state utilities are considering similar moves. As a result, the Electric Reliability Council of Texas, which operates the state's main electric grid, has projected power reserves will fall below its desired minimum next year.

So we have an agency of the federal government creating regulations - not legislation passed by our elected representatives, but rules thought up by bureaucrats to justify their existence - that will shut down existing power plants, eliminate jobs, and cause rolling blackouts throughout the state in the foreseeable future.

But just when you think all is lost, here comes a knight in shining armor riding to the rescue.

Another federal agency, the Energy Department, says it has the legal authority to require power plants to maintain grid reliability.

If you see a dilemma here - one agency saying stop, another saying go - you're not alone.

U.S. Rep. Pete Olson, R-Sugar Land, said generating companies could be in an untenable position if the department orders operation of plants idled because of EPA rules: By complying with one of the federal agencies, they may defy the other one.

He cited incidents over the past decade in California and Virginia, where Mirant Corp., now GenOn Energy Inc., was ordered to run generating units for reliability purposes, but faced legal action for environmental violations.

“It's not fair, when these companies do exactly what regulators ask them to do — keep the lights on — and then they're penalized for it,” Olson said in an interview.

Gina McCarthy, an EPA assistant administrator, said the Clean Air Act, which authorizes the cross-state rule, never has caused reliability problems and has mechanisms to prevent local reliability issues.

But EPA permission didn't protect Mirant from lawsuits when it faced conflicting federal mandates, GenOn lawyer Debra Raggio told federal energy regulators in a memo last month.

Gee, confusion and ~~lies~~ misleading information from federal agencies.

What a surprise...

Don't Blame Me

2012-01-02T20:32:00.001-06:00

I'm out of town half the time...

San Antonio makes ‘Drunkest Cities’ list

For those who’ve sipped a margarita or a cold beer at one of San Antonio’s many watering holes or reveled in the alcohol-friendly Fiesta, it’s likely no surprise that media outlet The Daily Beast has ranked the city fifth on its list of “Drunkest Cities” in the U.S.

San Antonio staggered to fifth place this year after ranking 19th on last year’s list...

We're aiming for #1 next year.

Ranked first, with an average of 15.5 average monthly drinks consumed by person, is Boston. Other Texas cities that ranked were Austin, at No. 7, and Houston, at No. 25, the list states.

The Daily Beast in February ranked San Antonio as the best U.S. city for love, and previously the Alamo City was listed next to last among 55 U.S. cities for intelligence.

I know correlation isn't causation, but still, that last sentence makes one wonder...

FOD 2012.01.02

2012-01-02T06:34:00.000-06:00

Hopefully everyone is alive and well this morning, even if you're not feeling at the top of your game. Let's all hope that we have a better 2012 than 2011.

On this, the first FOD of 2012, it is illustrative and amusing to look back on obama's 2011 performance. For your entertainment and amusement, here's a list of "The Obama administration’s top 10 foolish quotes of 2011."

10. Barack Obama refers to the “English Embassy” in Tehran

9. Hillary Clinton refers to Syrian dictator Assad as a “reformer”

8. Hillary Clinton calls the Mubarak regime “stable”

7. The US Ambassador to Belgium blames Israel for some forms of anti-Semitism

6. Director of National Intelligence James Clapper calls the Muslim Brotherhood "secular"

5. White House adviser touts Obama’s “leading from behind”

4. Joe Biden on the Taliban: “not our enemy”

3. Barack Obama calls France America’s strongest ally

2. Joe Biden compares the Tea Party to terrorists

And the Number One most foolish quote of the obama administration in 2011 is...

1. Barack Obama calls himself the fourth best president in US history

There's more at the link. Enjoy...

Sunday Funnies 2012.01.01

2012-01-01T06:33:00.012-06:00

It's traditional to begin the New Year by making resolutions. Most are well-intentioned, but difficult to achieve. Here's a few more realistic ones.

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T00:01:00.004-06:00

All the best to you and yours in 2012 - and beyond!

Home Alone

2011-12-31T14:37:00.000-06:00

Our 17-year-old son is the human equivalent of a Labrador Retriever. He's a friendly, good-natured kid, reasonably smart, but totally clueless.

We left him home alone overnight for the first time this week. My wife and daughter went to Houston on short notice for a chick fling with a couple of friends of theirs. I was planning on spending several days hunting, but cut the trip short when they decided to go. Still, that him left one night with no adult supervision - and a brand new girlfriend. He's normally a pretty responsible kid, and we trust him, but ... he is 17 years old.

So he and I had a heart-to-heart talk before I left, and we set the ground rules. The main one was "No visitors." In light of his new-found love, I also passed on two rules my Dad set for me when I was 17.

Rule #1 - Keep it in your pants.
Rule # 2 - When you break Rule #1, keep it covered.

Both my wife and I left town on Tues. The boy and his girlfriend were planning on exchanging their Christmas gifts that day, and then going out to dinner afterwards. About 3:00 that afternoon I got a phone call from the boy. His girlfriend's parents were having some people over to their house, so he wanted to shift the gift exchange to our place.

Well...

At least he asked. And like I said, we trust him. So I said okay, but she had to leave by 8:00, and he had to be back home no later than 10:00 that evening. And I told him I'd be calling the house to make sure everything was okay. (Trust, but verify...)

When I got home Wed. evening I asked him how things went.

The gift exchange went well. He got her a cookbook (!), which he said she liked.

Rather than going out to eat, he fixed her dinner. We've been working with him in the kitchen trying to teach him the basics. Evidently some of the cooking lessons stuck, but the tips on romance didn't. For their big romantic dinner he made her scrambled eggs and toast.

Sigh...

However, when I stopped and thought about it, I realized that (1) he has a girlfriend who has a job, and (2) she likes to cook.

Maybe the boy is smarter than I give him credit for...

I'd Like To See Obamacare Top This

2011-12-30T17:52:00.000-06:00

I've been having a little problem with one of my eyes. Nothing serious, but enough to be aggravating, verging on painful. It started a couple of days ago and has slowly gotten worse. Since there's a holiday weekend coming up (and my wife has gotten tired of hearing me fuss about it), I decided around 10:30 this morning to get it checked out.

I called the ophthalmologist at 10:30. By 11:30 I was getting examined. After a series of tests I got a prescription, which was filled by 1:30.

In short, within three hours of me making a phone call I was seen by a medical specialist, tested, and medicine was dispensed. It cost me $40 for my co-pay, and $4 for my prescription (over and above what I pay in medical insurance premiums, which ain't cheap, but which are affordable).

obama and the libs think they can improve on that? Fat chance...

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2011.12.30

2011-12-30T17:34:00.000-06:00

An oldie but a goodie - and just in time for the New Years weekend. It's a 1977 song from a Canadian band called Trooper: "We're Here for a Good Time, Not a Long Time, so Have a Good Time."

Sounds like a New Years resolution to me...

It Was A Great Hunting Trip

2011-12-29T12:21:00.005-06:00

Just got back from a quick day-and-a-half trip to our hunting lease. It would have been longer, except for the fact that our 17-year-old son with the brand new girlfriend was home alone (more on that later). Didn't shoot a thing but had a great time.

I know this is difficult for many non-hunters to understand, but the motivation to go hunting is not driven solely by the desire to shoot something. Yes, that adds to the experience, but most of the folks I know hunt for a mix of reasons: the building excitement and the fun of preparing as the season nears (like Christmas, but with guns); the enjoyment of getting away from everyday life and doing something engaging, challenging, and outdoors (like hiking or camping, but with guns); and strengthening relationships with friends and family (like hanging out in a favorite tavern, but with guns*). If you happen to get lucky, that makes the whole thing even better (like dating, but with guns).

* We don't have a lot of rules, but we are very strict about safety. Rule #1 is "Once you have a drink you cannot touch a firearm until the next day."

Anyway, on this particular trip the weather was, finally, fantastic. Beautiful deep blue skies, crisp temperatures, just a light breeze. The ground was soft from the previous rains, but not muddy or squishy, making it easier to move around quietly and to see tracks. The roads were, for the most past, passable, although there were a few remaining bogs where I got to play 4x4 road warrior.

Best of all, since it was the middle of the week, no one else was there. It was just me, my older son, and his son (my grandson). I'm not much for stand hunting - I like to get out and move around - but with a full lease it limits how much roaming you can do. This trip I would get into position while it was still dark, then about an hour or so after sunup I'd move a few hundred yards and find another spot to sit for a while, and then move again. Probably not the most efficient way to hunt, but that's the way I like to do it.

We'd meet up back at camp for lunch, hang out for a while, and then go out again mid-afternoon.

Meals were simple. We had sandwiches for lunch. Dinner was sausage roasted over the fire, then covered with salsa and wrapped in tortillas. Dessert was leftover Christmas cookies. Elegant dining at its finest.

The only thing missing was the game. Between the three of us we saw one deer on the entire trip. It was a little forkhorn with one antler broken off at the base. Damn thing looked like a unicorn. I saw it early on the first day and passed, thinking I'd surely see something better. Wrong again.

I also saw a javelina family. Saw them several times, in fact. They showed up at 8:00 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. both days at the intersection of a couple of game trails I was staking out. I thought about shooting but I've been successfully anthropomorphized by Walt Disney. There was Daddy javelina, Mommy javelina, and a cute, tiny like piglet about the size of a football. He stayed under Mom most of the time. It was amazing watching them move in tandem, both changing direction simultaneously.

Unfortunately, Dad proved the old adage that all males are pigs. At one point, while Mom had her head down eating acorns, he mounted her. There was poor Mom trying to get something to eat, with Dad getting busy on top of her, and Junior underneath her butting up against her teats trying to nurse. Then Dad lifted his head and curled his lip back, showing his tusks. It wasn't an angry or threatening gesture, or even a triumphant one. It was more of a "Gee, is this a great world or what, and I'm so friggin' happy right now" grin. It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. I would have given Dad a high-five but it would have broken up their tender moment.

Later that day there were nine (I counted 'em) large v's of geese fly overhead. It looked like those old WWII movies where waves of bomber fly over in formation. They were moving from west to east, headed for the Texas Gulf coast with its lakes and marshes (or at least where the lakes and marshes used to be before this year's drought - I guess the geese don't watch the Weather Channel). Seeing them spread out over the sky and hearing their cries gave me goosebumps (seriously).

There were other birds as well. In addition to the usual sparrows and wrens, we had plenty of dove and quail. There were several of the brightest, reddest cardinals I've ever seen, along with something I'd never seen of even heard of - green jays. They're medium-sized birds, bright lime-green with a dark blue or black head, and a light yellow underbelly. I had to look them up when I got home.

And then there were the predators - a couple of owls, several hawks, and even one caracara - the Mexican eagle (probably here without papers).

Add in the mammalian food chain - rodents, rabbits, racoons, coyotes, and bobcats - and it was a veritable Wild Kingdom.

Didn't see any feral hogs, but saw plenty of sign - tracks, wallows, rooted-up areas, and droppings. I had a game camera set up in one area, and there were nightly visits by a couple of packs, usually between 11:00 p.m. and 2:00 a.m. Spotlighting hogs is legal in Texas (they're considered vermin, and rightly so) so after deer season we're planning a weekend to go night-hunting for hogs.

All in all, a great trip. But now it's time to catch up on everything I put off over Christmas, including school work.

Yuck...

Try Try Again

2011-12-28T06:03:00.004-06:00

I'm slipping away today and tomorrow for one more try at this hunting season. After the last two rainouts, I'm hoping the third time's the charm.

The forecast is clear and sunny, but the damn weatherman has lied to me more than both of my ex-wives combined, so I'm not gonna believe it until I see it...

Freedom Of Religion

2011-12-27T06:46:00.028-06:00

Around this time of the year here in America there is a lot of Sturm und Drang around the holiday traditions of various religions. Although there are the usual assholes who get bent out of shape regarding Christmas, Chanukah (Hanukkah), and/or Kwanzaa displays and message, most of us are relatively tolerant.

Would that it was the same elsewhere.

Attacks Against Christians In Nigeria Kill At Least 39

Attacks across Nigeria by a radical Muslim sect killed at least 39 people (on Christmas), with the majority dying on the steps of a Catholic church in a massive explosion after Christmas Mass.

The first explosion Sunday struck St. Theresa Catholic Church in Madalla near Nigeria's capital just after 8 a.m. The attack killed 35 people and wounded another 52, said Slaku Luguard, a coordinator with Nigeria's National Emergency Management Agency.

The wounded filled the cement floors of a nearby government hospital. Bodies lined an open-air morgue.

In Jos, a second explosion struck near the Mountain of Fire and Miracles Church, state government spokesman Pam Ayuba said. Gunmen later opened fire on police guarding the area, killing one officer, he said. Two other locally made explosives were found in a nearby building and disarmed.

By noon Sunday, explosions echoed through the streets of Damaturu, the capital of Yobe state, where fighting between security forces and the sect already had killed at least 61 people in recent days. The most serious attack on Sunday came when a suicide bomber detonated a car loaded with explosives at the state headquarters of Nigeria's secret police, the State Security Service.

(The group claiming responsibility), Boko Haram has carried out increasingly sophisticated and bloody attacks in its campaign to implement strict Shariah law across Nigeria, a multiethnic nation of more than 160 million people. The group, whose name means "Western education is sacrilege" in the local Hausa language, is responsible for at least 504 killings this year alone, according to an Associated Press count.

This Christmas attack comes a year after a series of Christmas Eve bombings in Jos claimed by the militants left at least 32 dead and 74 wounded. The group also claimed responsibility for the Aug. 26 bombing of the United Nations headquarters in Nigeria's capital, Abuja, that killed 24 people and wounded 116 others.

Men look at the wreckage of a car following a bomb blast at St. Theresa Catholic Church outside the Nigerian capital Abuja on Christmas Day.

In other countries the words may change but the tune remains the same.

Kirolos Andraws had every reason to be excited about the January uprising in his native Egypt, figuring democracy would bring hope for young people like him.

Then one day in February, says Mr. Andraws, a gang of thugs beat him and told him, "you deserve to die." His offense, he says: refusing to convert to Islam.

Mr. Andraws is one of thousands of Coptic Christians—followers of an ancient form of Christianity with its own language and rituals—who have come to the U.S. to escape rising persecution in Egypt.

For decades Copts have suffered attacks by Islamists who view them as "kafir"—Arabic for nonbelievers. But there is now a sense among Middle East experts that they have become more vulnerable since the revolution.

This year, mobs have looted and attacked Coptic churches, homes and shops throughout Egypt. Churches have been burned down, and one Copt had his ear cut off by a Muslim cleric invoking Islamic law.

Strong gains by Islamist parties in the recent elections have further raised fears among the Christian minority that they won't have a place in the new Egypt.

The U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom, a federal advisory agency, asked the State Department to place Egypt on its list of "countries of particular concern"—egregious violators of religious freedoms. The department declined, saying that its goal is to work with the Egyptian government to improve conditions for Christians.

That last paragraph is another indication of how dysfunctional and delusional Hillary's State Department is.

The common theme of these two stories is, of course, the absolute lack of tolerance of Islam. Not surprising anymore, but still disturbing. I am getting really, really tired of Islamic apologists who say it's only a few radical fundamentalists who give the rest of them a bad name. It is past time for so-called moderate Muslims (if there is such a thing) to stand up and denounce their radical cousins. And it is way past time for the rest of the world to enforce civilized standards of behavior on any religion that uses its beliefs as a shield to protect cowardly and murderous behavior.

Thought exercise: go back to that first story about the church bombings in Nigeria. Switch the words "Christian" and "Muslim."Change "churches" to "mosques." Now imagine the world's reaction. The media's. Would it be the same? Greater? Less?

I think w all know the answer to that one.

I'm willing to bet that the majority of Americans, regardless of their religious leanings, are not overly concerned about others who believe differently. Our guiding tenet is that you have the right to do whatever you want, as long as you don't interfere with my right to do the same.

Again, would that it was the same elsewhere...

Count Your Blessings

2011-12-26T11:27:00.000-06:00

We take so many things far, far too much for granted. Especially those close to us.

Yesterday we had a large gathering of family and friends share Christmas with us. We opened presents, had the traditional excessive dinner, and then sat around socializing. (Socializing, of course, is greatly facilitated by various forms and amounts of adult beverages.)

We have what real estate folks refer to as an open floor plan. That means the kitchen and living room are basically one large room, separated only by an island that is kitchen on one side (stove top, sink, etc.) and living room on the other (a chest-high bar top, lined with high-backed bar stools). I was on the kitchen side, helping clean up, while the guests mingled and chatted on the other side.

Suddenly my 94-year-old father began coughing. Not ordinary coughs, but great, heaving, retching hacks. They came in spasms that shook his entire frame. He couldn't talk, was having great difficulty breathing, and was starting to change color.

We live about 15 miles from the nearest town of any size. It would take at least 20 minutes or more for EMS to reach us. Fortunately, one of our friends who lives about five minutes away is an Emergency Room doctor, so we called him.

Unfortunately, he wasn't home.

Fortunately, his wife, who is an ER nurse, was.

We explained the situation to her and she said she'd be right over. In the meantime, the coughing got worse. Dad had an upper respiratory infection earlier in the week, and it seemed like he had tried to cough up a wad of mucous which became stuck in this throat. It reached the point where I was running through the Heimlich maneuver steps in my mind, while at the same time sticking the blade of a boning knife in the stove burner flame to sterilize it in case an emergency tracheotomy became necessary.

The problem was that Dad would have a spasm, be in extreme distress, but then recover slightly for a few seconds. Every time I got ready to give him the Heimlich squeeze he'd rally slightly. I've always been taught that if the victim is breathing even a little bit, don't do anything. But it was so damn frustrating, not to mention frightening, to stand there basically helpless, watching the man who gave you life in danger of losing his own.

Finally he gave one really huge hack and expelled a plug of blackened, dried-up mucus, along with about a cup of totally gross liquid. Immediately afterwards he leaned back and began to breathe a little easier.

About then our friend the ER nurse showed up. She checked him out, confirmed that the crisis was over, and gave us a few suggestions for care and treatment in the near term.

Today Dad's doing fine. He's a little tired from the ordeal (he is, after all, 94) but is resting comfortably and breathing normally, for which we are all grateful.

We're also grateful to have friends who will interrupt their own holiday celebration to help us in our time of need.

So the moral of this story is to not just count your blessings, but to also give those special people in your life a little extra hug or kiss, and let them know how much they mean to you.

You never know when they might be taken away...

FOD 2011.12.26

2011-12-26T07:39:00.005-06:00

First of all, I hope everyone had their fourth best Christmas ever - if not better.

In a recent 60 Minutes interview, humble barry obama ranked himself as the fourth best U.S. president. Below is a list of his 'accomplishments' that prompted him to do so.

Thank goodness he wasn't the best president ever. I don't think the country could take it...

Twas The Morning After Christmas

2011-12-26T06:27:00.003-06:00

Here's hoping your Christmas exceeded expectations.

Santa's certainly did...

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T06:29:00.015-06:00

I can think of no better Christmas wish than that old standard:

"Peace on Earth. Good will towards men."

May it come true this year...

Christmas Cancelled

2011-12-24T07:24:00.004-06:00

Bad news. Christmas has been canceled this year.

Naughty Or Nice?

2011-12-24T06:09:00.004-06:00

Your choice...

Naughty:

Nice:

Chrismas Lights

2011-12-23T18:57:00.003-06:00

Things have been hectic here in the idyllic hamlet of Bergheim. Consequently, I've fallen a little behind in certain Christmas activities, such as putting up the outside Christmas lights. My wife has been giving me grief about it, so to get her off my back I finally put them up today.

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2011.12.23

2011-12-23T17:00:00.003-06:00

'Tis the season ... dedicated to those who can't be with their loved ones this Christmas.

Our Little Boy Is Growing Up

2011-12-23T06:24:00.005-06:00

Our 17-year-old son has just entered into his first 'serious' relationship.' He had a girlfriend a few years back, but she was a contender for the reality show Real Housewives of Bergheim, in that she acted like a diva, demanding 100% of his time, attention, and discretionary spending. That experience convinced him that casual dating was the way to go.

At least until recently.

We first learned about his new girlfriend from - what else - Facebook, when his status changed from Single to In A Relationship. (Yes, we made him friend us.) That prompted a flurry of posts from his real friends, which gave us more intel than we ever got from him.

She joined us for dinner the other night. She's a very sweet girl - attractive, smart (early acceptance to Texas A&M, with acceptance decisions pending at Rice and Boston College), good work ethic (rancher's daughter, has a job working at a fashion boutique in town), simple tastes (just about every other one of their dates is a walk in the woods followed by a picnic alongside the creek) ... just about everything a parent could want in a girlfriend for their son.

She's been an excellent influence on him. He is paying more attention to clothes and hygiene than I ever thought possible. He even asked for an electric razor for Christmas, which is a massive case of overkill (he could be clean-shaven just by scrubbing his face with a rough washcloth once a week). It would be an ideal match, except for one thing.

She's a high school senior, and he's only a junior.

That means next September she'll go off to college, get swept off her feet by some frat boy, and that'll be the end of the boy back home.

I can see it coming, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Oh well, it's all part of growing up...

Another Last Minute Gift Idea

2011-12-22T15:58:00.001-06:00

Evidently there were some women out there who were less than pleased with yesterday's suggestion that their man get them an old-fashioned Christmas present. So today we present something for those bitter, man-hating women in our lives - a five piece kitchen knife set with a unique knife holder.

"Not only functional, but also therapeutic, this five-piece knife set plus holder makes for the perfect gift and a guaranteed conversation piece."

And I can only imagine what the conversation will be about...

One Person, One Vote Follow-Up

2011-12-22T06:27:00.002-06:00

A little while back I posted about Eric Holder and the obama Department of Injustice planning to "be aggressive in reviewing new voting laws."

Today there was was a letter to the local paper addressing that very topic. In response to an editorial cartoon criticizing a new state law requiring voters to produce a photo ID, a reader penned this gem.

Texans must show a photo ID to board an airplane, cash a check, drive a car, use a credit card and a raft of other everyday activities, yet it is the cartoonist's opinion that having to show an ID to vote is “voter suppression.”

Give me a break! The specific purpose is to prevent vote fraud and ballot-box stuffing. My grandparents all lived in Illinois and voted Republican until the days they died. They've been staunch Democrats ever since. We need to stop such practices here in Texas.

Gotta luv it...

Last Minute Gift Idea

2011-12-21T21:51:00.000-06:00

For you men out there who are still struggling to come up with a special gift for that special gal in your life, we here at Bergheim Follies have just the thing.

Let me know how it works out for you...

Follow The Money

2011-12-21T06:22:00.002-06:00

Recently, a trading firm named MF Global filed for bankruptcy - the eighth largest bankruptcy in U.S. history. The story behind that bankruptcy is still unfolding, but there is more than a whiff of another obama-related scandal emerging.

MF Global has been around in one form or another since 1783. It survived over 225 years until former democrat senator and former New Jersey governor (until Chris Christie kicked his ass) Jon Corzine became CEO in 2010.

Oh yeah - Corzine was also one of obama's top economic advisers (Obama: Corzine Is “Our Wall Street Guy”). He helped craft obama's failed stimulus package. VP Joe Biden called Corzine "the smartest guy I know in terms of the economy and on finance.”

As part of MF Global's failure, $1.2 Billion - that's Billion with a "B" - of its customers' money is missing. If you're like me, you keep pretty close track of every dollar. The thought of 'misplacing' $1.2B is literally incomprehensible. Yet Corzine, testifying in front of congress, stated "I simply do not know where the money is..."

Needless to say, that isn't going over very well.

It's been more than six weeks since the bankruptcy of Jon Corzine's MF Global, and everyone from the FBI to Congress to frustrated customers is still trying to figure out what exactly went wrong.

In the commodities market, customer funds entrusted to firms like MF Global are supposed to be sacrosanct, protected even in the event of a bankruptcy. A firm can invest these funds for its own purposes, but only provided that it puts safe forms of collateral in place, such as U.S. government bonds, to keep the value of accounts whole.

If these procedures aren't followed, the use of customer funds for a firm's own purposes is a serious violation of industry rules that may also carry criminal liability...

With any luck, this story will play out over the next eleven months, keeping the Conzine-obama-Biden connection in front of voters during the upcoming campaign.

In the meantime, here's a pithy summation and illustration of the MF Global debacle.

During the Age of Obama, the scandals come so thick and fast that you can hardly remember them all, let alone keep track of their details. One of the most recent is MF Global, which not only went under–with former Democratic Senator and Governor of New Jersey Jon Corzine at the helm–but misplaced $1.2 billion in client funds along the way. How do you lose track of a billion dollars? ... Michael Ramirez has the definitive answer:

The Rich Get Richer - Not

2011-12-20T15:30:00.007-06:00

Politicians lie. The media misinforms. Not exactly a surprise, but when a particular theme is repeated over and over, some people eventually take it as gospel.

“The most brilliant propagandist technique will yield no success unless one fundamental principle is borne in mind constantly - it must confine itself to a few points and repeat them over and over.”

Joseph Goebbels

A good example of this is the 'evil 1%' message currently being parroted by liberals and the media: "They get richer while everyone else gets poorer;" "They don't pay their fare share."

The only problem is none of that is true.

Myth #1 - They get richer while everyone else gets poorer.

Fact - The rich have gotten poorer much faster than anyone else.

The total income of the top 1% - or those earning more than $343,000 - fell by more than 30% from 2007, according to the most recent Internal Revenue Service data. By contrast, the average income of the bottom 90% fell less than 3% during the same period.

Subsumed in Myth #1 is the notion of an inequality gap - the gap between the rich and the poor - that not only is large, but growing. Again, however, the facts do not bear this out.

... the most recent data from the IRS and Federal Reserve show that income inequality was lower in 2009 (the latest period available) than it was in 1995. The top 1% of earners held 16.93% of the nation’s income in 2009. In 1998, their share was 18.47%.

An interesting side note to the inequality gap is that most Americans don't see it as a problem, despite what the politicians and pundits would have us believe.

According to a recent Gallup poll, 52% of Americans say the rich-poor gap is “an acceptable part of our economic system.” A slightly lower 45% said the gap “needs to be fixed.”

The survey found that Americans prefer growth over a reduction in inequality. Some 82% said growth was either “extremely” or “very” important; only 46% said “reducing the income and wealth gap between rich and poor” was “extremely” or “very” important.

The poll goes on to note that "Americans are less concerned about inequality now than they were in 1998."

Myth #2 - They don't pay their fair share.

Fact - the rich pay more taxes proportional to income than any other group.

... the infamous top 1% – those earning over $380,354 – paid 38.02 percent of federal income taxes... Meanwhile, the bottom 50 percent of income earners – the group that, according to the liberal world view, is subsidizing tax handouts to the wealthy – shouldered just 2.7 percent of the federal income tax burden.

The top 1 percent ... earned 20 percent of the nation's adjusted gross income – yet their share of the tax burden was nearly twice that (over 38%). Meanwhile, the bottom 50 percent earned 12.75 percent of the nation's income, while their share of the tax burden was about one-fifth of that. You can see this demonstrated in the chart below.

Furthermore, the tax burden shouldered by the rich has remained essentially level over the past decade, even as tax rates went down as a result of the Bush tax cuts. So much for tax cuts that favor the rich.

... the distribution of the tax burden across income levels was roughly similar in 2000 – the last year of the Clinton tax rates – than it was in 2008, after the Bush rates had been effect for years. In fact, the rich paid a slightly higher share in 2008.

So the facts show that the income of the wealthiest 1% has dropped more than any other group, the inequality gap has shrunk, and the wealthiest 1% pay proportionally more in taxes than any other group. Yet obama and his drones, aided and abetted by the blathering sycophants in the media, continue their class warfare campaign in a shameless attempt to impose their socialist agenda on the rest of us.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am not part of the 1%. Not even close. But I hope to be some day. And I don't believe in punishing people for being successful.

I guess that means I can't be a liberal...

FOD 2011.12.19

2011-12-19T06:10:00.018-06:00

Actually, today is a combination of FOD and FED (E = Eric, as in Eric Holder).

Posted without comment, mainly because Jeffrey Kuhner says it much better than I could.

Obama's Watergate

A year ago this week, U.S. Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry was murdered. He died protecting his country from brutal Mexican gangsters. Two AK-47 assault rifles were found at his death site. We now know the horrifying truth: Agent Terry was killed by weapons that were part of an illegal Obama administration operation to smuggle arms to the dangerous drug cartels. He was a victim of his own government. This is not only a major scandal; it is a high crime that potentially reaches all the way to the White House, implicating senior officials. It is President Obama’s Watergate.
...

(Attorney General Eric) Holder insists he was unaware of what took place until after media reports of the scandal appeared in early 2011. This is false. Such a vast operation only could have occurred with the full knowledge and consent of senior administration officials. Massive gun-running and smuggling is not carried out by low-level ATF bureaucrats unless there is authorization from the top. There is a systematic cover-up.
...

Mr. Holder and his aides have given misleading, false and contradictory testimony on Capitol Hill. Perjury, obstruction of justice and abuse of power - these are high crimes and misdemeanors. Mr. Holder should be impeached. Like most liberals, he is playing the victim card, claiming Mr. Issa is a modern-day Joseph McCarthy conducting a judicial witch hunt. Regardless of this petty smear, Mr. Holder must be held responsible and accountable - not only for the botched operation, but for his flagrant attempts to deflect blame from the administration.

Mr. Holder is a shameless careerist and a ruthless Beltway operative. For years, his out-of-control Justice Department has violated the fundamental principle of our democracy, the rule of law. He has refused to prosecute members of the New Black Panthers for blatant voter intimidation that took place in the 2008 election. Career Justice lawyers have confessed publicly that Mr. Holder will not pursue cases in which the perpetrators are black and the victims white. States such as Arizona and Alabama are being sued for simply attempting to enforce federal immigration laws. Mr. Holder also opposes voter identification cards, thereby enabling fraud and vote-stealing at the ballot box. What else can we expect from one who, during the Clinton administration, helped pardon notorious tax cheat Marc Rich and Puerto Rican terrorists?

Mr. Holder clearly knew about Fast and Furious and did nothing to stop it. This is because the administration wanted to use the excuse of increased violence on the border and weapons-smuggling into Mexico to justify tighter gun-control legislation. Mr. Holder is fighting ferociously to prevent important internal Justice documents from falling into the hands of congressional investigators. If the full nature of his involvement is discovered, the Obama presidency will be in peril.

Fast and Furious is even worse than Watergate for one simple reason: No one died because of President Nixon’s political dirty tricks and abuse of government power. But Brian Terry is dead; and there are still 1,500 missing guns threatening still more lives.

What did Mr. Obama know? Massive gun-smuggling by the U.S. government into a foreign country does not happen without the explicit knowledge and approval of leading administration officials. It’s too big, too risky and too costly. Mr. Holder may not be protecting just himself and his cronies. Is he protecting the president?

And just where is the media in all this? Whatever happened to investigative reporting? Or is that only the case when questionable and unsubstantiated allegations are made against conservatives...?

Not With A Bang But A Whimper

2011-12-18T22:04:00.000-06:00

Is it just me, or does the exit of the last U.S. troops from Iraq seem anti-climatic? There's been no banner headlines, no high-profile celebrations or parades - just a soft, almost silent sigh of relief from the troops and their loved ones. It all seems quite unsettling, almost surreal. Even the reaction of the media and the blogosphere seems strangely muted.

It is worth keeping in mind that the troop withdrawal deadline was specified in the Status of Forces Agreement signed by George W. Bush towards the end of his presidency, and overseen by obama. Of course, both sides will try and spin this to their advantage (e.g., pro-Bush here ; pro-obama here).

I'll leave it to others to debate the success or failure of the Iraqi mission. To me, the important thing is that thousands of our service members are out of harm's way, in time for the holidays.

For that, at least, we should all be thankful.

Rained Out - Again

2011-12-18T12:36:00.000-06:00

Tried to go hunting again this weekend, and again Mother Nature didn't cooperate. It didn't rain nearly as heavily as last weekend, but the week in-between was generally drizzly and damp. It wasn't so much the amount of rain we got, as the fact that the dirt roads on our lease didn't get a chance to dry out. They were pretty much impassable last weekend, and even worse this weekend. So Saturday morning we opted to head for the comforts of home and hearth.

As Charlie Delta pointed out in a comment on an earlier post, Texas is in the midst of a prolonged severe drought. We should be grateful for what precipitation we have received.

The recent rains have brought some relief to the area, but have done little to change the overall drought situation. Most of Central Texas and the Colorado River basin remain in the grips of an extreme drought.

The weather outlook ... over the next six months still doesn't offer much hope for significant rain.

The recent rains are indeed welcome. However, as an American, a veteran, and an almost-senior citizen, it is my God-given right to bitch about anything, no matter how beneficial. Whoever controls the weather should arrange for it to rain during basketball season, when it won't bother anyone...

Sunday Funnies 2011.12.18

2011-12-18T05:56:00.010-06:00

Another semester has come and gone ... thank goodness.

The pretty coed was shocked when the biology professor asked her "What part of the human anatomy enlarges to about 10 times its normal size during periods of emotion or excitement?"

"I - I - I refuse to answer that question," the girl stammered and blushingly turned her face away.

Another student was asked the same question and answered correctly, "The pupil of the eye."

"Miss Fenster," said the professor, "your refusal to answer the question leads me to three conclusions.

One: You didn't study last night's assignment.
Two: You have a dirty mind
Three: Your marriage will be a tremendous disappointment."

Old professors never die, they just grade away.

Old professors never die, they just lose their class.

There once was an old man from Esser,
Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
It at last grew so small,
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a College Professor.

The Week That Was

2011-12-17T06:05:00.005-06:00

Between the end of the Fall semester, hunting season, and the approaching holidays, I let a couple of things slip last week that are worthy of going back and revisiting.

The first is the 220th anniversary of the Bill of Rights becoming part of the U.S. Constitution. Conservative and liberal groups both noted that event, and both shared a common perspective on it -- praising the original intent, and bemoaning its erosion over time -- something that is at once surprising and encouraging.

The Cato Institute commented on the amendments one by one, coming to the conclusion that the only one which retains much of its original scope is the Third Amendment:

The Third Amendment says soldiers may not be quartered in our homes without the consent of the owners. This safeguard is one of the few that is in fine shape...

The Huffington Post takes a different approach, tracing the historical evolution -- or perhaps a better word is de-evolution -- of the Bill of Rights.

U.S. history reminds us of why so many early Americans wanted a Bill of Rights. They understood that governments abused their power, a truth that has since been corroborated by our presidents' actions time and again.

Interestingly, both organizations used the TSA as an example of violating the Bill of Rights. And both came to the conclusion that it is the responsibility of We the People to ensure that our rights are not violated by the government.

HuffPo: "If we want to have a Bill of Rights Day worth celebrating, we must demand that officials at all levels respect our freedoms -- and not let the government get away with abusing them."

Cato: "The key point is this: A free society does not just “happen.” It has to be deliberately created and deliberately maintained ... let’s resolve to be more vigilant about defending our Constitution."

That sounds like a resolution worth keeping during the New Year.

A second, more troubling anniversary, also took place last week. It was the one year anniversary of the death of Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry at the hands of Mexican drug cartel members, armed by Eric Holder and his flunkies at the U.S. Department of Justice.

It turns out, the gun used to kill Brian came from the Obama Justice Department through Operation Fast and Furious. One year later we have no details about what really happened that night, no justice for Brian, no justice for the Terry family and an Attorney General who thinks he is above the law in providing details about the lethal Fast and Furious operation which has left more than 200 dead in Mexico and tied to the murders of two federal agents. Even Eric Holder admits more people will be killed because of his department putting over 2000 guns into the hands of ruthless cartel members.

Brian, the Terry family and the American people deserve better.

So please, take some time during your holiday activities to say a prayer for Brian Terry and his loved ones. And resolve to honor Brian by doing whatever you can to 'preserve, protect, and defend' the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights during these turbulent times.

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2011.12.16

2011-12-16T17:00:00.012-06:00

Our hunting trip was rained out last weekend. It's rained off and on all this week. And the forecast for this weekend is more rain. But we're going to try it again and hope we don't get too wet. Still, I wonder ... who'll stop the rain?

One Giant Leap To A Nonsensical Conclusion

2011-12-16T05:45:00.003-06:00

I'm not sure what to make of Tebow-mania. His stats are shaky, he doesn't fit the mold of the prototype NFL quarterback, and I have my doubts about the likelihood of his long term success. And yet, as his ~~disciples~~ ~~acolytes~~ supporters say, all he does is win.

Without getting into the football-related arguments regarding his ability, success, and future, I will note with dismay that some people just don't get that football is a game, not a religion (unless you're talking about high school and college football in Texas - then it is THE religion of the masses).

Anyway, via Jammie Wearing Fools, we have this example of Tebow hysteria taken way too far.

People are always looking for signs of God’s beneficence, and a victory by the Orange Crush over the blue-clad Patriots, from the bluest of blue states, will give fodder to a Christian revivalism that has already turned the Republican presidential race into a pander-thon to social conservatives, rekindling memories of those cultural icons of the ‘80s, the Moral Majority and “Hee Haw.”

If Tebow wins the Super Bowl, against all odds, it will buoy his faithful, and emboldened faithful can do insane things, like burning mosques, bashing gays and indiscriminately banishing immigrants...

WTF?!? Sounds like something a MSNBC commentator would say.

If you think that's a little over the top, you're not alone. The post has disappeard, and has been replaced with the following bland statement:

The piece has been taken down and I apologize to all those whom it has offended. Some additional reflections will be forthcoming. Thank you.

However, as JWF points out, nothing ever really goes away on the Internet. You can go here to see the piece in its entirety.

One Person, One Vote - Unless You're A Democrat

2011-12-15T17:58:00.002-06:00

Alright, boys and girls, today we're going to review that most fundamental of all democratic principles, the one most of us learned in our first civics course - the concept of one person, one vote.

Underlying that simple concept is the premise that the person casting the vote is a valid and legitimate member of the body politic, fully qualified to cast his or her ballot as part of the democratic process.

The question before us is how to determine the legitimacy of an individual seeking to vote. Several states have recently passed legislation stating that possession of a state-issued form of identification is not only acceptable, but required.

The obama administration and its usual coalition of out-of-touch leftist drones and clones are now voicing outrage that people must prove who they are in order to vote.

Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. on Tuesday entered the turbulent political waters of voting rights, signaling that the Justice Department would be aggressive in reviewing new voting laws that civil rights advocates say will dampen minority participation in next year’s elections.

This is the same Eric Holder that saw no problem with thugs carrying clubs and hollering racial epithets while patrolling in front of polling places during the 2008 presidential election. Since the thugs were black instead of white, Holder didn't consider that voter intimidation.

Decrying a common-sense identification requirement is bad. Turning a blind - or racist - eye to blatant intimidation is worse. But the really scary thing is Holder's vision for the future.

Mr. Holder also laid out a case for replacing the “antiquated” voter registration system by automatically registering all eligible voters...

No potential for abuse there.

This year, more than a dozen states enacted new voting restrictions. For example, eight — Alabama, Kansas, Mississippi, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas and Wisconsin — imposed new laws requiring voters to present state-issued photo identification cards.

There is precedent regarding the legality of such laws. However, previous cases were decided on the basis of states vs. federal rights. Holder's position is that the Voting Rights Law - a federal law designed to protect the voting rights of minorities - trumps the equal-protection clause of the Constitution. I'm not a legal scholar, but I always thought the Constitution was the supreme law of the land. I guess that's no longer the case.

Pity.

In 2008, the Supreme Court upheld an Indiana law requiring voters to present photo ID cards, ruling that the state’s interest in preventing fraud outweighed the burdens the law placed on voters. That case, however, was based on the Constitution’s equal-protection clause and did not address the different standards imposed by the Voting Rights Act.

In a 2009 case involving a Texas water board, the Supreme Court said that a key section of the Voting Rights Act, despite its “undeniable” historic importance, “now raises serious constitutional concerns” because it intrudes on states’ rights. However, it declined to strike down the law.

Another perspective:

Hans von Spakovsky, a scholar at the conservative Heritage Foundation, said Monday that Holder’s stance is driven by “ideology and politics.’’ He noted that courts have found laws requiring voter identification in Georgia and Indiana to be nondiscriminatory. “Georgia’s law has been in place for five years and not only did the turnout for African Americans not go down, it went up,’’ said von Spakovsky, a Justice Department official in the George W. Bush administration.

Holder said the laws could depress turnout for minorities, poor and elderly people and those with disabilities who would have difficulty securing valid identification documents. He rejected any notion of politics influencing Justice’s decisions on the new laws.

“We’re doing this in a very fair, apolitical way,’’ he said. “We don’t want anybody to think that there is a partisan component to anything we are doing.’’

Yeah, right. And obamacare will reduce health care costs, improve health care quality, and reduce the budget deficit.

Proponents of such restrictions — mostly Republicans — say they are necessary to prevent voter fraud that could cancel out the choices of legitimate participants. Opponents — mostly Democrats — say there is no evidence of meaningful levels of fraud...

No meaningful levels of fraud, huh? I guess it depends on what your definition of 'meaningful' is.

Never mind the fact that Mississippi NAACP leader Lessadolla Sowers was recently sentenced to 50 years in prison for vote fraud, that the now-defunct ACORN recently received the maximum fine possible for vote fraud by a Nevada judge or that Holder’s own Justice Department is accused of making a sweetheart settlement with members of the New Black Panther Party who were accused of voter intimidation in Philadelphia on Election Day 2008.

(Never mind that) "The chairman of the Indiana Democratic Party announced his resignation Monday, as investigators probe allegations of election fraud stemming from the 2008 Democratic presidential primary."

Dan Parker, who served for seven years, did not cite the scandal as a reason for his decision. But the uproar over possible fraud in a race for the White House has already claimed the job of one county Democratic Chairman, who sources say was forced out because of the allegations.

(Never mind that) Adolf Hitler and Mickey Mouse signatures will be counted in the effort to recall Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, so long as they are properly dated and bear a Wisconsin address.

The Government Accountability Board reviewing the petitions unanimously approved a plan that would allow questionable names to be counted if they are signed within the circulation dates and have a proper address...

In a delicious bit of irony and an outstanding example of hypocrisy, "As each person entered (to hear Holder talk) they were required to present their photo IDs in order to be allowed in to hear the speech."

Finally, a picture is worth a thousand words. Unions, of course, are huge supporters of the democrat party, and contribute millions if not billions of dollars to its campaign coffers.

As you’ll note in the photo below the union requires its own members to produce a photo ID in order to vote.

In America, one needs an ID to vote in a union election, buy liquor, drive a car, board an airplane, use a credit card and a slew of other things in our society. Yet, the Democratic party refuses to back the idea of requiring an ID to vote in state and federal elections under any circumstances. A sensible voter ID law that respects the rights of the poor, elderly, and minorities is a great idea. What are Democrats afraid of?

Don't Mess With Grandma

2011-12-15T10:20:00.001-06:00

A supposedly true story from a Kansas Highway Patrol officer.

I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding on U.S. 166 Eastbound at Mile Marker 73 just East of Sedan, KS.

I asked for her driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance. The lady took out the required information and handed it to me.

Along with the cards I was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a concealed carry permit. I looked at her and asked if she had a weapon in her possession at this time.

She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box.

Something---body language, or the way she said it---made me ask if she had any other firearms. She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her center console.

Now I had to ask if that was all. She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .38 special in her purse. I then asked her what was she so afraid of.

She looked me right in the eye and said, "Not a freaking thing!"

If it's not true, it should be.

Early Holiday Celebration

2011-12-14T16:26:00.000-06:00

I just finished posting my last grade for the semester. I'm done (with classes, at least) until next January.

In related news, I just opened a celebratory Shiner. Now it's time to go online and do some Christmas shopping.

Shiners and online shopping - it's gonna be a very merry Christmas...

CBS Disgraces Itself - Again

2011-12-14T05:58:00.005-06:00

I ran across the following at Irons in the Fire. It made my blood boil. If you get as riled as I did, please take a moment to let CBS know how you feel.

No excerpts; you need to get the full flavor of this. CBS, screw you; I've seen the show a time or two, but I won't be watching it again. I think I'll wander over to their feedback form and say so.

I'll provide one excerpt, and one picture, just to give you an idea of what got me so upset.

... to discover the actors and crew walking ON the graves (of Pearl Harbor and other WWII veterans). The production equipment was laid over the grave stones. I was amazed at the audacity of the crew to treat the graves as just a prop in their show, their lack of respect augmented by walking on the grave stones.

If you read the entire thing you will notice that there is some disagreement over exactly what was said and done. However, for me the photographs clinched it. They make it pretty clear that CBS' actions were disgraceful and inexcusable.

What else is new...?

Life Is Good

2011-12-13T20:41:00.003-06:00

I gave my last final tonight. I'll grade them tomorrow, but in the meantime I'm luxuriating in the feeling that comes from being done with classes for another semester - kind of like post-coital afterglow, but not quite as fulfilling.

It's still damp and cool down here, so I threw together a quick-and-dirty tortilla soup for dinner. I had some leftover chicken breasts from last weekend's rained-out hunt. They were wrapped in foil with bacon, chopped onion, garlic, and spices, then dropped in the campfire for about 45 minutes. Yummm...

The rest of the ingredients should be on hand in any reasonably well-stocked kitchen.

Normally when I make tortilla soup it's all from scratch, including the stock. However, since I'm at my bachelor pad in South Texas, rather than my fully stocked and equipped home kitchen, I opted for speed and convenience. It still came out pretty damn good.

Ingredients:

    1 onion, chopped
    2 cloves garlic, minced
    2 tablespoons veggie oil
    4 teaspoons chili powder
    2 teaspoon ground cumin
    1 teaspoon dried oregano
    1 14 oz. can Rotel tomatoes
    4 15 oz. cans chicken broth (or 2 32 oz. boxes - I like the free range organic stuff)
    juice of 1 lime
    1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
    2 cups shredded leftover chicken or turkey

Optional Toppings:
    crushed tortilla chips or shredded fried tortillas (shred first, then fry)
    sliced avocado
    shredded Monterrey Jack cheese
    chopped green onions

Sauté onion and garlic in oil until soft. Add remaining ingredients. Stir well and simmer for at least 10 minutes.

The basic recipe is a little on the bland side, so feel free to adjust the seasonings to your taste. For example, you could toss in a diced jalapeño to kick it up a notch. Another option, and one I really like, is to add a couple of tablespoons of chipotle flavored salsa or enchilada sauce. That gives it a nice smokey flavor.

I couldn't decide whether red or white wine would be best with this soup, so I went instead with Shiner. Of course, margaritas would also be a good choice.

Enjoy...

Golf Is More Dangerous Than What???

2011-12-13T05:58:00.004-06:00

In my profession, we try to base our opinions and decisions on data, not conjecture. A good example of the difference between what everyone 'knows' and what the facts tell us is exemplified by the following. Plus this is the middle of hunting season, so I thought it was timely.

Contrary to public opinion, hunting is safer than golf

... hunting with firearms is one of the safest recreational activities in America.

... hunting ranks third in safety when compared to 28 other recreational pursuits, ranging from baseball to wrestling. Hunting with firearms has an injury rate of 0.05 percent, which equates to about 1 injury per 2,000 participants, a safety level bettered only by camping (.01 percent) and billiards (.02 percent). For comparison, golf has an injury rate of 0.16 percent (1 injury per 622 participants), while tackle football topped the list of activities with an injury rate of 5.27 percent (1 injury per 19 participants).

This did come as a bit of a surprise to me. I knew hunting was relatively safe, but I had no idea that it was safer than golf. How on earth do you get hurt playing golf? Of course, if you play like me you could throw a club in disgust after a lousy shot and hit someone. Or drink too much and drive the cart into a tree.

"Many people have the misconception that hunting is unsafe, but the data tells a different story," said Jim Curcuruto, NSSF's director of industry research and analysis. "Comprehensive hunter education classes that emphasize the basic rules of firearm safety and a culture of hunters helping fellow hunters practice safe firearms handling in the field are responsible for this good record."

To put hunting's safety standing into perspective, compared to hunting a person is . . .
• 11 times more likely to be injured playing volleyball
• 19 times more likely to be injured snowboarding
• 25 times more likely to be injured cheerleading or bicycle riding
• 34 times more likely to be injured playing soccer or skateboarding
• 105 more times likely to be injured playing tackle football.

Furthermore, in the big scheme of things, firearms account for a miniscule 0.5% of all unintentional fatalities.

Of course, all this means nothing to the anti-gun nuts. Their motto is "My mind is made up. Don't confuse me with the facts."

FOD 2011.12.12

2011-12-12T06:17:00.007-06:00

A picture is worth 1000 words...

And in related news, in Sunday night's 60 Minutes puff piece on obama, alleged journalist Steve Kroft strayed from the White House approved script and snuck in one semi-tough question when he asked the commie-in-chief which Republican contender he would prefer to face in 2012.

obama's answer: 'It Doesn't Really Matter' Who GOP Nominates

He boiled down the 2012 campaign to a single question to be answered by the voters: “Do they see a more compelling vision coming out from the other side?”

Hell yes.

In spite of their tendency to self-destruct, whoever (whomever?) the GOP nominates will have a pretty good chance of defeating the loser-in-chief. Especially if he continues to blame Bush, four years later. More obama:

"... we can't have an honest conversation about the irresponsibility that resulted in the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, without somebody saying that somehow we're being divisive.”

obama also refused to answer when asked why there have been no criminal prosecutions of anyone on Wall Street responsible for the financial collapse in 2008. That could be because the people most responsible are democrat congresscritters, most notably Barney Frank and Chris Dodd.

Left unasked were the really tough questions, like why did the White House refuse to turn over to congress documents related to the $535 million loan guarantee that the Obama administration gave to now-bankrupt solar panel manufacturer Solyndra?

Or why aren't there any criminal prosecutions in the case of Jon "I simply don't know where the money is" Corzine, former democrat U.S. senator, former democrat New jersey governor, former obama economic adviser, and former CEO of MF Global, which collapsed into the eighth-largest bankruptcy in U.S. history while an estimated $1.2 billion in client funds is unaccounted for.

Or why hasn't Eric Holder been indicted, impeached, or at the very least forced to resign for, among other things, the Fast and Furious fiasco?

So many questions, so little time.

Only 60 Minutes...

Random Thoughts - Sunday Evening Version

2011-12-11T20:54:00.001-06:00

I just finished fixing dinner. Is there anything that smells better than sautéing onions and garlic in bacon drippings?

After dinner I checked my email. A friend of mine who is a retired Air Force F-16 pilot, and who now flies for UPS, sent me the following. You aviation-minded folks may have already seen this, but I got a kick out of it. Enjoy.

* * * * * * * * * *

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident....

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.

Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one...

Sunday Funnies 2011.12.11

2011-12-11T05:57:00.000-06:00

Things didn't work out quite as expected, but still ...

Two hunters went deer hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female deer costume and learned the mating call of a female deer. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the buck, then come out of the costume and shoot the buck.

They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the deer love call.

Before long, their call was answered as a huge buck came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

When the buck was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?"

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."

Rained Out

2011-12-10T17:21:00.002-06:00

Well, we tried. The Friday afternoon hunt was okay - didn't see anything much, but at least we were out in the field. There were a few sprinkles Friday evening and overnight, but nothing serious.

Saturday morning started off okay as well. Then about 8:00 the weather changed. The wind picked up - WAY up - from hardly noticeable to 30+ MPH, with gusts much higher.

As the wind speed went up the temperature went down, from mid 50s at daybreak to low 40s a couple of hours later. At the same time the rain began. Not sprinkles or drizzle, but RAIN - big, fat drops, and lots of them.

Low 40s is tolerable, but when you add in high wind and heavy rain it gets intolerable pretty damn quick.

We were expecting the weather change, and had appropriate gear, but still ... when everything you have is damp and muddy, and the only time you're warm is when you're sitting in the truck with the heater cranked up to High, a lot of the joy goes out of the hunt. And the weather forecast was for more rain and continued cold temperatures.

To top things off, on our lease here in South Texas the soil is predominately caliche. It is relatively impervious to rain - that is, the rain doesn't penetrate caliche like it does loam or regular topsoil. So the rainwater is funneled into the ranch road ruts, making them a slippery, soupy mixture that clogs up tire tread and robs them of traction.

My hunting truck is an old 1995 Ford F-150 with 4WD and off-road tires, so I was able to get around without too much trouble. But after I pulled out a couple of other vehicles we decided it was time to head for home.

The good news is that the South Texas rut starts in mid-December, and the season doesn't end until late January. So we still have plenty of time to put Señor Muy Grande on the wall...

UPDATE: It was still raining and chilly this morning. Yesterday set a one-day record for rainfall down here - almost 2.5 inches. (That's a one-day record for that specific date, not all time.) Still, that's a lot of rain for down here. The news last night was nothing but car wrecks and localized flooding.

Gone Hunting

2011-12-10T05:55:00.002-06:00

Back Monday ... sooner if I get lucky.

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2011.12.09

2011-12-09T17:00:00.004-06:00

By the time you see this, I'll be on my way to the deer lease. My wife isn't too thrilled, what with all the holiday chores piling up at home, but I pacified her with the promise of fresh venison.

The only problem is, I'm pretty bad at hunting deer...

More Why Professors Drink

2011-12-09T06:35:00.005-06:00

The semester is winding down. I only have one more final to give and grade, and then I'll be done with classes for a few weeks.

The students are actually behaving themselves so far (relatively speaking, of course). But the administration is picking up the slack in foolishness. Two examples:

#1 - I apparently got some kind of award based on something I did my first year here (Sep. 2008-May 2009). I'm still not sure what I did or why I got the award.

The award was dated Feb. 2010 (remember, this is for the academic year ending May 2009).

I must have missed the award ceremony. I don't even remember being informed about it.

I received the award today via interoffice mail.

To summarize:

award for year ending May 2009
dated Feb. 2010
received Dec. 2011

I emphasize to my students that consequences for behavior should be adminstered as closely as possible to that behavior in order to maximize the effect. Management 101, right?

Did I mention that the president of the university received his PhD in English Lit, and the provost comes from the Biology department?

#2 - Like many other organizations, we have been affected by the current budget crunch. In response, faculty are being required to teach one additional course with no pay increase. On the plus side, this has allowed us to avoid layoffs, so there is minimal grumbling.

In conjunction with the increased teaching load, the minimum class size has been increased. For upper level courses the new minimum is ten students. That doesn't sound like a lot, but the effect is to cause the cancellation of small, specialized elective courses.

The mindless enforcement of these two edicts, with no employment of common sense, has resulted in the cancellation of two electives for graduating seniors in the Spring 2012 semester. This leaves them with the choice of hanging around until Sep. 2012 - nine months from now - in order to graduate, or else taking some fluff elective that has absolutely no relationship to their major, and will be of no use in the real world ("Leadership Traits of barak obama: Theory and Application").

Furthermore, it leaves one professor without a class to teach. So we have figured out a way to game the system. We are dividing a course I teach in half, creating two sections instead of one, each with half as many students. Sounds like a good idea - smaller class size, more personal interaction, all that good stuff - except that it's an online course.

The course material is delivered through a content management system (an application that was created specifically for online teaching). Homework and exams are given and graded by the system. I do have a running discussion forum where we talk about current events in the field and how they are related to the course material. It takes an hour or two per day to maintain, but it's like blogging. The amount of time and effort is relatively the same, whether you have one reader or one hundred.

So instead of one instructor (me) teaching 60-70 students (which, because it's an online class, isn't that big of a deal) we will have two instructors teaching two classes of 30-35 students. It won't improve the quality of instruction, and it will cost twice as much in terms of instructor time, but it satisfies the whim of the administrators.

Sigh...

Dead Man Walking

2011-12-08T19:07:00.000-06:00

The guy who did this is dead - D.E.A.D.

But it is funny as hell.

Caution: do not watch while drinking liquids.

Oh No - Not Again

2011-12-08T13:14:00.001-06:00

Brace yourself for another round of anti-gun hysteria after this latest tragedy.

Virginia Tech Locked Down After Two Killed

Virginia Tech University, the site of the country's worst massacre, is on lockdown after two people, including a police officer, were shot and killed on the campus.

The school said the suspect is at large and students are being told, "Stay indoors. Secure in place."

Of course, the only ones armed on campus are the shooter and the police. Look at how well that turned out for the dead officer and the second victim.

I hope no one else - other than the criminal - is harmed, but this is sure to reignite the debate about who should and should not be allowed to carry firearms on campus.

If nothing else, it again shows the fallacy that anti-guns laws keep people safe.

The World Has Gone Mad

2011-12-08T05:52:00.004-06:00

Just two in a long line of examples.

Example #1 - Administration Calls Fort Hood Massacre 'Workplace Violence'

Sen. Susan Collins on Wednesday blasted the Defense Department for classifying the Fort Hood massacre as workplace violence and suggested political correctness is being placed above the security of the nation's Armed Forces at home.

Remember when Major Nidal Hasan went on a rampage in 2009, killing thirteen people and wounding dozens of others while shouting "Allah Akbar" (which is arabic for 'I love to take it up the ass'). That wasn't workplace violence. It was a terrorist attack, pure and simple. Calling it anything else is a perfect example of being politically correct at the expense of the truth.

Example #2 - Medicare Spends a Quarter Billion Dollars on Penis Pumps

"...Medicare has spent more than $240 million of taxpayer money on penis pumps for elderly men over the past decade..."

Well, why not. The government is screwing us every time we turn around. We may as well let senior citizens do the same thing.

The penis pump market has grown so large (ha!) that websites dedicated solely to that have sprung up (ha! again).

Medicare Penis Pumps - Medicare may cover the cost for you! - Call us toll free

So have marketing videos.

And of course, where there's money to be made. there's con artists.

Man pleads guilty to penis pump Medicare scam

An Illinois man pleaded guilty in Rhode Island on Thursday to charges he shipped unwanted penis enlargers to diabetes patients as part of a Medicare fraud scheme that cost $1 million to $2.5 million from 2005 to 2009.

And I guess if there's a problem with the product there most likely would be a recall.

What a strange, crazy world we live in...

The Day That Changed The World

2011-12-07T06:18:00.020-06:00

Today, December 7, 2011, is the 70th anniversary of the day that changed the world.

Better known as "a date which will live in infamy" the consequences of the attack on Pearl Harbor led to the emergence of the United States as a world superpower. We still hold that distinction, although our grasp is becoming somewhat shaky.

The 'day of infamy' quote is, of course, from President Franklin Roosevelt's speech to Congress asking it to declare war on Japan. Roosevelt went on to say:

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounded determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God.

The first of those is still true today. Only the enemy has changed.

The second ... well, can you imagine the current 'occupy the White House' buffoon saying anything along those lines?

Me neither.

Anyway, please take a moment to remember and give thanks to those who served - then and now.

For more insight into the events surrounding Dec. 7, 1941, the National Museum of the Pacific has a special exhibit and accompanying material available here.

And Life has just released some previously unseen photographs of the aftermath.

With the few remaining survivors of the attack now in their 90's, this will likely be the last major anniversary commemorated with living participants.

So go forth and learn ... and remember...

The Bitch Did It Again

2011-12-06T22:49:00.000-06:00

Re: the obamas Million Dollar Hawaiian Vacation - why the hell can't she and the kids fly with her hubby like the rest of American families do?

This year, the president’s wife and family flew ahead of the President on an Air Force C-40B Special Mission Aircraft, a 32 passenger plane, which according to a White House Dossier analysis, cost taxpayers an estimated $63,000 or $6,330 per hour. “By leaving early, she (Michelle Obama) forced a large logistical support – including a retinue of Secret Service agents – to get itself up and running,” the Dossier reports.

Oh yeah - it's because she and her worthless ~~lesbian lover~~ husband aren't paying their own way...

More News Of The Absurd

2011-12-06T18:53:00.000-06:00

When I saw the headline below, I was anticipating a humorous out-of-the-ordinary story. Well, it's definitely out of the ordinary. However, the humor is tempered by the fact that ... well, why spoil it ... go ahead and read it for yourself.

Couple injured after naked bodybuilder attack

Police say a naked, 300-pound bodybuilder savagely beat a Southern California couple at their home, leaving them in critical condition.

The Sun of San Bernardino says 22-year-old Ruben Arzu apparently was under the influence of steroids and other drugs, and it took four police officers, two stun gun blasts and four sets of handcuffs to restrain him.

Police say the couple came home late Saturday to find Arzu naked on the front porch of their home in Colton.

When Arzu was confronted by the 35-year-old husband, police say the bodybuilder attacked the man, causing major head trauma.

The man's wife called 911. Police say Arzu then picked her up and threw her around, causing facial injuries and multiple cuts to her head.

Arzu was booked on suspicion of attempted homicide.

First of all, I hope the victims recover without complications.

Second, call me old-fashioned, but I'd rather see the cops blast the guy a couple of times with a .45 instead of a stun gun. It would save a lot of time, trouble, and $$$ down the road.

And of course this happened in Kalifornia, home to naked bodybuilders and steroid freaks. Why don't we ask the victims how they feel about the CA ban on handguns and right to carry. Since I'm blessed to live in the Great State of Texas, I don't have to worry about whether or not I can physically subdue an assailant. I have today's equivalent of Mr. Colt's equalizer on my side.

And I can be damn sure that any naked bodybuilder who attacks me or my family isn't carrying a concealed weapon...

Good News x 2

2011-12-06T06:35:00.005-06:00

Every so often it's nice to hear some good news for a change. Yesterday gave us two examples of ~~people~~ subhumans getting what they deserved.

Story #1:

Surveillance video shows the moment a store clerk shoots an armed robber twice

Mark Headstrong had never fired a gun before. But, when a robber pointed a pistol at him, the Wilmington, North Carolina, convenience store clerk acted fast and shot his assailant twice.

But Mr. Headstrong's boss, store owner Musa Agil said his employee should have shot the robber dead: 'He should have killed him ... this guy was soft on him.'

First of all, dig the clerk's name - Headstrong. I used to be married to his sister...

Second, I can't decide if the guy's boss is cool or a jerk. I like the way he thinnks - "He should have killed him " - but I'm not too sure I'd want to work for a harsh dude like that.

The in-store cameras show Anderson walk into the store wearing a mask and black hood pulled over his head. He draws a gun and points it at Mr. Headstrong.

The clerk draws his own handgun. Mr Headstrong, a soft-spoken man, told the Star News of Wilmington that he instructed Anderson to drop the gun. But the convicted felon didn't. Instead, he steps closer to the counter, so Mr Headstrong fired a warning shot into the floor.

The bullet ricocheted and struck Anderson in the leg. But Anderson still didn't drop the gun. So Mr Headstrong, wearing shorts and flip-flops, shoots again, hitting the assailant in the finger.

Not exactly a crack shot. I doubt if he was aiming for the robber's finger.

The robber finally lets go of his silver handgun and falls to the floor.

'You'll be hailed as a hero,' Mr Agil told his employee during a news conference.

'But you'd be a superhero if you'd dropped him dead.'

IMO if some thug pulls a gun, don't do something stupid like firing a warning shot or trying to wound him. Aim for center mass and fire away.

And speaking of doing something stupid, we have this fool.

Police say around 11:30 p.m. Friday, Anthony Miranda, 24, walked up to a car parked at 55th Street and Kenneth Avenue, just a few blocks from Midway International Airport.

Miranda asked the driver for a lighter, and the driver said he didn’t have one. Then Miranda pulled a handgun and demanded that the driver hand over his money, police said.

Even after the driver complied and gave up some money, Miranda ordered him out of his car, police said.

At some point, Miranda’s attention was diverted and the victim was able to grab control of the gun and the two wrestled.

During the fight, Miranda accidentally discharged his own gun, shooting himself in the ankle, police said.

What a loser.

The victim — who told police he is a martial arts expert and ultimate fighter — was able to pin Miranda down until police arrived.

Police arrived to find Miranda with a face full of lacerations and two black eyes. He was taken to Holy Cross Hospital for treatment, police said.

Mr. Miranda should be glad he got off with only a few bruises and black eyes. If I was some UFC badass who got jumped like this I'd do my best to break a few bones...

False Alarm

2011-12-05T19:02:00.002-06:00

I arrived today at my South Texas apartment to begin the work week. As is my custom, I left home with a travel mug of coffee and a bottle of water, both of which I empty on the drive down here. It's a three hour trip, so for a man my age with the subsequent 'fluid retention' issues the timing works out about right. I get here just as my internal pressure gauge is moving from yellow to red.

We're having our first really chilly weather down here, so as I entered the apartment I flipped the HVAC unit from Cool to Heat for the first time this year. After going through the usual 'coming home' routine (keys and wallet on the dresser, phone plugged into the charger, computer booted up, etc.) I headed for the restroom.

I unlimbered the necessary apparatus and began the process of fluid elimination. I had just reached that point familiar to most men - a feeling of relief and relaxation, accompanied by a heartfelt sigh, a stout stream, and a general sense of well being - when the heater kicked on.

It's an electric heater that hasn't been used since last winter, so very shortly the air was filled with the smell of burning ozone and toasted dust. Very shortly after that the air was filled with the sounds of various smoke and carbon monoxide alarms going off.

Evidently the apartment complex owners are quite concerned about the threat of litigation if a tenant should suffer injury from fire, smoke, or carbon monoxide, because these weren't the piddling residential alarms that one can purchase at Home Depot. No, these are industrial strength alarms that remind one of those strident klaxons in old WWII movies - on steroids.

There were three different alarms of varying pitch, intensity, and character all competing for attention. Meanwhile, I was doing my best imitation of a fire hose (remember the three hour drive while intaking a quart or two of liquids?). As my fellow men will testify, one simply doesn't shut down that type of flow in mid-stream. Furthermore, the sudden onset of the alarms caused me to involuntarily turn around in search of the source of all that clamor.

I leave the rest to your imagination.

Fortunately, the alarms shut off fairly quickly as the heating elements burned off the year's accumulation of dust and debris. All that remained was the clean-up...

FOD 2011.12.05 - Two Parts

2011-12-05T06:13:00.009-06:00

Part I:

It must be nice being President... Obama to jet off to Hawaii for SEVENTEEN DAY Christmas vacation

While most Americans are lucky to get a few weeks of holiday every year, it seems the country’s leader gets a little more freedom in the matter.

President Barack Obama has announced his Christmas vacation to Hawaii – for a staggering 17-day trip.

He was just there two weeks ago for an economic summit. I guess he liked it so much he wants to go back.

His wife and kids will be there as well. No word on whether they'll fly together, or take seperate flights like their Marth'a Vineyard summer vacation and last year's Hawaii winter vacation.

Gosh, was it just last August when the obama clan spent eleven days on vacation at Martha's Vineyard? Let's see ... eleven days in August, plus seventeen days in Dec. is a total of twenty-eight days - FOUR FRIGGIN' WEEKS!!! - of vacation in a six-month period. That's about one month out of six on vacation. Nice work if you can get it.

I guess he's just plumb worn out from ... wait, give me a minute ...

What the hell has he done to need a vacation?

He must be exhausted from ruining the economy, putting hundreds of thousands of Americans out of work, running guns to Mexican drug cartels, bowing to foreign heads of state, endless rounds of golf … oh yeah, and all the campaigning and fund raising he's been doing lately.

As Harper points out, this little trip will cost the taxpayers in excess of $1M.

What an asshole. We'll all be better off when he's on a permanent vacation…

(Don't miss Part II below the bobblehead.)

Part II:

NJ governor Chris Christie asks, and the NY Post's Micheal Goodwin amplifies on, this question:

“What the hell are we paying you for?”

On Monday, (Christie) called Obama “a bystander in the Oval Office” for ducking the congressional committee charged with finding $1.2 trillion in deficit reductions over 10 years.

“I was angry this weekend, listening to the spin coming out of the administration about the failure of the super committee, and that the president knew it was doomed for failure, so he didn’t get involved,” Christie said. “Well, then, what the hell are we paying you for? ‘It’s doomed for failure so I’m not getting involved?’ Well, what have you been doing, exactly?”

The questions are rhetorical in that we know what the president has been doing and why. He plays golf and campaigns. Governing is beneath him.

He doesn’t talk much to members of Congress or his own Cabinet. They’re beneath him.

His connection to the public consists of speeches before large crowds, and he ducks behind the curtain and into the security bubble as soon as he finishes. The people are beneath him.

Warped by a sense of entitlement and self-aggrandizement, Obama refuses to take responsibility for finding practical solutions to problems. He prefers the glory of transformation rather than the roll-the-sleeves-up work of reform.

When he can’t get his way, he appoints a czar and ignores Congress. Democracy is beneath him.

He could have brokered a deficit deal, but doing so would have demolished his campaign slogan that Republicans are to blame for everything. Any deal would give him ownership of the results, and end the fiction that politics are beneath him.

In fact, he’s all politics, all the time. His idea of bipartisanship is that everybody agrees with him.

He’s so bad at the job that the frequent comparisons to Jimmy Carter are unfair to Carter.

I couldn't have said it any better myself.