A cowboy took his horse to the vet. The horse had an apple in his left ear, a bunch of oats in his right ear, and a carrot up his nose.
The vet asked the cowboy "What's wrong with your horse?"
The cowboy replied, "He's not eating properly."
A nasty lookin' hombre walks into the Dodge City bank and pulls out his six-shooter. He points it at the teller saying, "Gimme all the loot, or you'll be geography."
The shaken teller looks up and says, "Don't you mean history?"
The robber replies, "Don't change the subject."
A cowboy and his bride asked the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him that they just got married that morning.
"Congratulations!" says the clerk. Looking at the cowboy, the desk clerkasks, "Would you like the bridal then?"
"Naw, thanks," replies the cowboy. "I reckon I'll just hold her by the ears 'til she gets the hang of it."
A cowboy was taken prisoner by a bunch of Indians. The Indians were all prepared to kill him when the chief announced that due to the celebration of the Great Spirit, they would grant the cowboy three wishes before he would die. "What do you want for your first wish?" asks the chief.
"I wanna talk to mah horse!" says the cowboy. He goes over to his horse and whispers in its ear. The horse neighs, rears back, and takes off at full speed. About an hour later, the horse comes back with a naked lady on its back. Well, the Indians are very impressed, so they let the cowboy use one of their teepees. A little while later, the cowboy stumbles out of the teepee, tucking in his shirt. "What do you want for your second wish?" says the chief.
"I wanna talk to mah horse!" says the cowboy. Again, the cowboy whispers in the horses ear. The horse neighs, rears back, and takes off at full speed. About an hour later, the horse comes back with another naked lady on its back. Well, the Indians are very impressed indeed. So, once again, they let the cowboy use one of their teepees. The cowboy stumbles out a little while later, and the chief asks the cowboy "What do you want for your last wish?"
"I wanna talk to mah horse!" says the cowboy. He grabs the horse by the ears and yells,
"You stupid animal, I said Posse. POSSE!!!!"