The TopTen reasons I Didn't Sign Up For obamacare

I have neither the patience nor the tolerance for doublespeak, deception, and dissembling that would enable me to watch president pants-on-fire's press conference today where he proclaimed a short-term 'fix' of dubious legality to the abominable piece of crap legislation that will be his legacy.

Rather, being a simple man of simple interests, I chose to go the low-brow approach and post the Top Ten reasons I didn't sign up for obamacare.

10. There was no app for that.

9. Still waiting on my free Obamaphone.

8. Link was from a Nigerian prince.

7. Got suspicious when it asked for payment in doubloons.

6. They used Comic Sans.

5. Couldn’t remember my underwear size when they asked.

4. No cats.

3. Website made by Canadians.

2. Panda Cam came back online.

And the Number 1 reason I Didn't Sign Up For Obamacare...

1. Obama didn’t!